Vastness
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2006
- Messages
- 2,322
It's a difficult thing to balance, touch love versus the softly softly approach... I know I'm biased towards the softly softly for others... but, that's not always helpful. Equally, sometimes "tough love" is too much and will just make someone feel worse and even more useless.
I think different things work for different people at different times, but both stories are almost always simultaneously true (ie, you need to be kind to yourself, but you also need to be hard on yourself - and depending on the person, if someone is struggling to deal with reality, you may need to be kind to them, or hard to them, in different degrees, and what degree is hard to judge).
My instinct @PsychaGogic reading your first post was that drawing arbitrary lines between what's pathetic and what counts as "legit depression" is problematic. But, obviously beyond that, you give good advice. I hope it's helpful. I think people really need to want to help themselves, if they don't want that, even if they think they do, or say they do, then no amount of good advice, kind words, or tough words will help them. Of course that's not really helpful to anyone, just idle philosophising, and I guess pretty obvious.
Edit - that said...
"lol", indeed. "Softly softly" won't work on you for sure.
I think different things work for different people at different times, but both stories are almost always simultaneously true (ie, you need to be kind to yourself, but you also need to be hard on yourself - and depending on the person, if someone is struggling to deal with reality, you may need to be kind to them, or hard to them, in different degrees, and what degree is hard to judge).
My instinct @PsychaGogic reading your first post was that drawing arbitrary lines between what's pathetic and what counts as "legit depression" is problematic. But, obviously beyond that, you give good advice. I hope it's helpful. I think people really need to want to help themselves, if they don't want that, even if they think they do, or say they do, then no amount of good advice, kind words, or tough words will help them. Of course that's not really helpful to anyone, just idle philosophising, and I guess pretty obvious.
Edit - that said...
Well this was triggering to read. You can't be arsed to even read more than a few lines, when someone has taken the time to write it...?
"lol", indeed. "Softly softly" won't work on you for sure.