• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I ruined my life(18m)

S

Stimfreak2234

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2021
Messages
91
I wish I never did drugs im such a retard. I started doing meth at 17, now I’m so mentally I’ll and alone all the time, while other 18 year olds are maybe drinking for the first time in college. I fucked up my whole life, lost my dignity and everything. Maybe I am genetically inferior I feel like all hope is lost. I’ve been 4 months sober but I can’t live with this, what my life became. What do I do?
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Look at the positives. You've been clean for four months. That is fantastic.


You're still young, you have your whole life left to recover - just don't wate this opportunity.
Click to expand...
It just feels so dirty that I did all this so young, I’m angry and resentful I even had access to these drugs so young
 
Stimfreak2234 said:
It just feels so dirty that I did all this so young, I’m angry and resentful I even had access to these drugs so young
Click to expand...

Don't beat yourself up mate, it happens.

But if you're still on bluelight at my age, I'll personally twat you in the face.

Don't be like us, be better...
 
Wait until you are in your 50s. At 18 you can still fix things and HAVE a future. I don't have a future. I will simply exist until I die. I'm seriously disabled so all I do is sit in my home, alone, waiting.... and yet their is still good times to be had, trust me.
 
Seriously though @Stimfreak2234

You are at the the age where taking drugs has the most significant impact upon your mental health and expectations from life.

If you don't curb it now, you probably never will.


That dopamine hit is extremely compelling and to a developing brain it becomes the norm. This is why drug taking at a young age is very problematic.


Not least because when you get to my age, you have no dopamine left so all drugs become shit.



Better to enjoy your younger years on the high of life, then grow old by getting off your tits to mask your descent into senility.


On the other hand, 'It's better to burn out than it is to rust...'






My advice to you would be "forget drugs, live life, listen to Neil Young".

(If that harmonica don't get ya, nothing will)
 
Last edited:
We're all a bit inferior to impulses. The beauty and I genuinely mean that word, is that despite your perception of having fucked up your life, it's only just started.

You can perceive this as a loss if you're resigned to beating yourself up, or you can realize that there's perhaps a benefit in learning where the proverbial bottom is; you can only go up from here.

I, for one, believe in you. You got this, kid.
 
Mysterier said:
We're all a bit inferior to impulses. The beauty and I genuinely mean that word, is that despite your perception of having fucked up your life, it's only just started.

You can perceive this as a loss if you're resigned to beating yourself up, or you can realize that there's perhaps a benefit in learning where the proverbial bottom is; you can only go up from here.

I, for one, believe in you. You got this, kid.
Click to expand...
It’s hard dude, I had so many opportunities but trauma and smoking weed young primed me to addiction. I wish I never came in contact with meth it was too perfect, everything I could’ve dreamed of, but now I’m all alone with no direction in life dwelling everyday, blaming everyone in my life. I am trying to get better tho, met a college girl and had a good time but got drunk and shit, which made me think of ice again, I might drink with her I really want a girl in my life now, I see college kids living their life and it’s torture
Feeling like I flushed mine down the drain for nothing, nothing but a dopamine rush
 
Stimfreak2234 said:
It’s hard dude, I had so many opportunities but trauma and smoking weed young primed me to addiction. I wish I never came in contact with meth it was too perfect, everything I could’ve dreamed of, but now I’m all alone with no direction in life dwelling everyday, blaming everyone in my life. I am trying to get better tho, met a college girl and had a good time but got drunk and shit, which made me think of ice again, I might drink with her I really want a girl in my life now, I see college kids living their life and it’s torture
Feeling like I flushed mine down the drain for nothing, nothing but a dopamine rush
Click to expand...
nothing is flushed down the toilet, so what if you miss one year of college? Many don't even go to college until well into their 20s

You've gotta get out of this mindset that everything is already ruined, it's not.

You need to decide to make your goal (college?) more important than getting high. Once you truly make that decision, everything will fall into place.

What you DON'T want to happen is your future self in 15 years thinking the exact same thing you're typing now. Trust me on that one, I've got experience down that road.

What's stopping you from going to college right now?
 
Negentropic said:
nothing is flushed down the toilet, so what if you miss one year of college? Many don't even go to college until well into their 20s

You've gotta get out of this mindset that everything is already ruined, it's
You need to decide to make your goal
(college?) more important than getting high. Once you truly make that decision, everything will fall into place.

What you DON'T want to happen is your future self in 15 years thinking the exact same thing you're typing now. Trust me on that one, I've got experience down that road.

What's stopping you from going to college right now?
Click to expand...
When I started using meth, I was 17 year old junior in high school, and I stayed skipping school and didn’t turn in any assignments and just quit going back in may, I haven’t been back since, and my motivation ever since I quit is so low, a typical day for me is driving around or going to the gym. My goal right now is to just stay sober, but I’m working towards a ged and becoming more mentally stable. I feel like I can’t enjoy college now, since post meth I have a hard time enjoying anything
 
Stimfreak2234 said:
When I started using meth, I was 17 year old junior in high school, and I stayed skipping school and didn’t turn in any assignments and just quit going back in may, I haven’t been back since, and my motivation ever since I quit is so low, a typical day for me is driving around or going to the gym. My goal right now is to just stay sober, but I’m working towards a ged and becoming more mentally stable. I feel like I can’t enjoy college now, since post meth I have a hard time enjoying anything
Click to expand...
What part of the World do you live in? S.A.D is fairly prevalent this time of year.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, have you thought about going to see a Psychiatrist?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top