I really almost lost my mind this time.. what now ... fuck!

[xxsicknessxx]

I was crazy for 9months. I had a hard relapse and lost my mind. I lost my job. Shit got bad....

Anyway im clean, but better yet my mind is back to normal. My brain has tortured me in the true sense of the word. Things I thought were going on, or things I thought would happen were horrible. My brain really hurt my mind forever.

I can't undo anything but I am thinking clearly again, Im not scared the fbi is watching me anymore (yes I did)

im doing ok.... im trying to work again and get my life backtogether I got a date coming up and im scared because shes going to want to drink.

I want to drink with her. For a person like me who has self control but just fucked up bad for the last few years. Just got lost in drugs.
Can I just start drinking like normal again and hope I don't fall back into addiction? I think I can. I feel like im strong enough, and smart enough not to end up drinking again or worse. However I want to drink with her I want to. Badly. Should I starve my self of a happyness just for the sake of others who don't except that I can handle drinking once in awhile. That it is different this time that things have really changed.

What do I do? Not drink? Torture my self more? Or just learn to be a normal human being who doesn't abuse everything.

Grow up right? Learn to drink like a man and stop being a bitch and getting addicted.... I think I can

 

[Pagey]

If you're not 500% confident you'll be fine drinking, don't do it. The fact that you're asking about it is proof enough that you're hesitant and I think that makes it a bad idea. I would hate to see you relapse because of that. I'm not at all for the 'I've had problems with certain drugs so I can never take any sorts of drugs again' thing, in fact I do everything but respect it myself, but in the very early stages of recovery I think it might be best to abstain - maybe one day you'll be able to drink without any consequences but for now might not be a great idea.
I know a fair amount of people who don't drink simply out of choice or because they just don't like it or whatever so you don't have to explain everything to her and I'm sure she won't ask too many questions

 

[ArtVandalay]

I just posted a very similar topic. I am in the same boat, don't know what to do. I also went through some psychosis, so I know how you feel. Maybe she'll think it's cool that you don't need to drink- girls find confidence sexy you know?

 

[mrflowers00]

i wouldn't drink i can handle my drinking but it makes me wanna use "good" drugs so it's a bad idea

 

[xxsicknessxx]

I guess I think I learned my lesson and this time drinking won't become a addiction. I want to drink and have sex. I havn't had sex in awhile because of addiction. I used funtion before I got on stims.. so that being said if I stay away from stims why can't I just go back to it?
I did stims, got addicted to booze the WD was so bad I stayed addicted and become full blown alcholic. But before that I drank like normal. before stims

I think I can go back to that time when I drank like normal..

I FEEL like I got nothing to live for I been sober a year and I still feel bad all the time. I need a break in the badness. Weed doesn't help at all...

I want a good high once in awhile otherwise why am I working hard to surivive in a world I feel bad in. Also feel bad means pain (from a sugary that messed me up along time ago and still effects me to this day) Tired, weak, just worn out, sick ... just lame

 

[RobotRipping]

IMO don't drink. Is it worth losing everything? take a few hits off a joint or something instead.

glad you're still lucid and doing better.

 

[Stevenski]

Grow up right? Learn to drink like a man and stop being a bitch and getting addicted.... I think I can

Where did a few drinks leave you previously? If you answer "it lead to physical addiction & greater problems" then I strongly suggest you don't have that first drink. There are certain things I have had to accept I can't do & lead a functional life. The alternative is surrender to insanity by making a conscious decision you have control over making. If you genuinely believe you can control your drinking then go for it but be brutally honest with yourself before going there.

 

[SineWaveSoldier]

If you were admittedly a full blown alcoholic at one point, then no drinking is not a goos idea.

I have had drinks with girls when i specifically was trying not to drink though. It is messing with fire.

 

[steingalkrs]

> Can I just start drinking like normal again and hope I don't fall back into addiction?

No you cant, you have already proven you can't. And the day will come, after drinking recreationally for a month or two.. Someone offers you, or you ask for some, just a little one... Can I handle that? And wooooosh... back in there! (well, even if you get a binge doesnt mean you binge a year by all means!).

Just do not think its safe to drink and belive you can make that. Me and ALL my friends are really, REALLY, trying to be able togo out and have some fucking beers! Almost impossible, it's damn annoying and screws up the workflow in the week. It is possible however to do it, but you need mind control like hell - and probably a few sleeping pills aswell if just by drinking you never know your brain might release or block reuptake for norepenephrine, dopamine and serotonine just as a nice placebo for you for wanting to have a good time ... experienced that myself a few times and you get your free high! Call it a flashback if you like, however a much more easily explained one!

Also if drinking, remember - you will get drunk - like DRUUUNK - you will get a hangover! You will have a bad day after, alcohol is a messy drug the worst of them all actually! However its the one allowed!

Good luck and stay sharp, mind focused. Drinking is possible - but ZERO tollerance for other compounds. Look into herbs, red bulls have teurine that halps for hang overs. (but then you need imovane, sleeping pill) to fall asleep from all the coffeine!

 

[Mariposa]

I was crazy for 9months. I had a hard relapse and lost my mind. I lost my job. Shit got bad....

Anyway im clean, but better yet my mind is back to normal. My brain has tortured me in the true sense of the word. Things I thought were going on, or things I thought would happen were horrible. My brain really hurt my mind forever.

I can't undo anything but I am thinking clearly again, Im not scared the fbi is watching me anymore (yes I did)

im doing ok.... im trying to work again and get my life backtogether I got a date coming up and im scared because shes going to want to drink.

I want to drink with her. For a person like me who has self control but just fucked up bad for the last few years. Just got lost in drugs.
Can I just start drinking like normal again and hope I don't fall back into addiction? I think I can. I feel like im strong enough, and smart enough not to end up drinking again or worse. However I want to drink with her I want to. Badly. Should I starve my self of a happyness just for the sake of others who don't except that I can handle drinking once in awhile. That it is different this time that things have really changed.

What do I do? Not drink? Torture my self more? Or just learn to be a normal human being who doesn't abuse everything.

Grow up right? Learn to drink like a man and stop being a bitch and getting addicted.... I think I can

You really thought the FBI was watching you?

The main problem with drinking in your case is that drinking, even moderately, causes disinhibition. What that means in the abstract is that if you are faced with a situation, you're not really able to deal with it rationally. Your operative and adaptive approaches are disabled by drinking. And this occurs even in the absence of drinking.

I guarantee you that you can have a good time with friends, family, or a special lady without needing to drink. You should never let someone make you feel bad for not drinking. Many nights, I just don't feel like drinking (I am a problem drinker with sustained periods of abstinence). By not drinking or doing drugs, you're giving yourself the out of a clear mind. You will be better off if you take some time to allow your brain to heal naturally. You can always pick up a bottle, but you might find you can't put it down.