I never asked for this...
I never wanted to take drugs. I tried, every which way I could, to not take drugs. It was a decision that was forced upon me. I hated the idea, no... I loathed it. I saw drugs and drug addicts as the scum of the earth and I wanted no part in that. I vowed never to try anything, ever. I wouldn't even take Aspirin! ...I wish all I took was aspirin...
Everyday I wake up... I wake up disappointed that I woke up. Everyday starts out awful purely because I had to get up that day. Once I've woken up, it's still another 2 hours before I get out of bed. I lye awake in excruciating pain, praying that I'll be able to get just a few more minutes of peace. It never happens - the pain in my legs stops that. When I eventually do make my journey over the mountain that is referred to by most people as 'getting out of bed', I'm so tired that I can barely stand.
I got no sleep. Not because I choose not to get sleep, but because I was literally unable to sleep. Then, everyday, I would have to drag myself into the hell that was 'highschool'. I dreaded walking in the door. I was never on time. I couldn't be, it just wasn't possible. The teachers and office staff just thought I was lazy. That I didn't care... no... I definitely cared. I wanted to be able to go to school and feel normal. Actually talk to people, have friends, go to parties, sit by someone at lunch, anything... I wanted good grades, I wanted a life.
But no. All the teachers saw was another 'lazy' kid that didn't care. They would insult me, bully me, threaten me - tell me that if I didn't get my ass into school and that if I didn't do well that I was never going to amount to anything! That I would never have a life, that I would never have friends or a family. That all I would ever be was a bum. I got dirty looks from everyone. Kids, teachers... even the fucking janitors! They all judged me before they even knew me. But nobody cared - in fact, I was THE ONLY ONE that cared.
I cared about everything! My grades, having friends, my future! What they didn't understand is that my lack of stability at home stopped me from being able to function at all. I would stay up all night worrying about my family, my life...
I knew that I wasn't ever going to have a life, I knew that all I would be was a bum. I knew it. And yet, every day they would make a point of rubbing my shitty life in my face. The vice principle (Mr. Slater) was by far the worst.
I never wanted to take drugs. I tried, every which way I could, to not take drugs. It was a decision that was forced upon me. I hated the idea, no... I loathed it. I saw drugs and drug addicts as the scum of the earth and I wanted no part in that. I vowed never to try anything, ever. I wouldn't even take Aspirin! ...I wish all I took was aspirin...
Everyday I wake up... I wake up disappointed that I woke up. Everyday starts out awful purely because I had to get up that day. Once I've woken up, it's still another 2 hours before I get out of bed. I lye awake in excruciating pain, praying that I'll be able to get just a few more minutes of peace. It never happens - the pain in my legs stops that. When I eventually do make my journey over the mountain that is referred to by most people as 'getting out of bed', I'm so tired that I can barely stand.
I got no sleep. Not because I choose not to get sleep, but because I was literally unable to sleep. Then, everyday, I would have to drag myself into the hell that was 'highschool'. I dreaded walking in the door. I was never on time. I couldn't be, it just wasn't possible. The teachers and office staff just thought I was lazy. That I didn't care... no... I definitely cared. I wanted to be able to go to school and feel normal. Actually talk to people, have friends, go to parties, sit by someone at lunch, anything... I wanted good grades, I wanted a life.
But no. All the teachers saw was another 'lazy' kid that didn't care. They would insult me, bully me, threaten me - tell me that if I didn't get my ass into school and that if I didn't do well that I was never going to amount to anything! That I would never have a life, that I would never have friends or a family. That all I would ever be was a bum. I got dirty looks from everyone. Kids, teachers... even the fucking janitors! They all judged me before they even knew me. But nobody cared - in fact, I was THE ONLY ONE that cared.
I cared about everything! My grades, having friends, my future! What they didn't understand is that my lack of stability at home stopped me from being able to function at all. I would stay up all night worrying about my family, my life...
I knew that I wasn't ever going to have a life, I knew that all I would be was a bum. I knew it. And yet, every day they would make a point of rubbing my shitty life in my face. The vice principle (Mr. Slater) was by far the worst.