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I need your help :/

I

IamMyself

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 5, 2010
Messages
34

Hello,
I just had a few questions, I have been wanting to ask someone this for a long time but I was just too shy and everyone on this site is nice so I thought you guys could help (:

Okay , so I have rolled once in my whole life time, i'm a freshman, pretty young. I was pretty scared and just went for it (I was depressed at the time) . It was a funny, odd, life changing experience. When I said life changing, it wasn't a good kind of life changing. After that roll, I lost my social skills and my appearance. I don't know if it was my depression that changed me or the roll. After taking it, I never have felt the same ( I took it about 8 months ago ). I use to be soooo good at talking with people and making people happy and laugh but now I can't even talk to people because i'm boring and not interesting. I use to get all the girls but nope, now I am ugly and no girls like me and I can't talk to girls like I use to. I use to be able to pull girls easily just by talking with them for like 5 minutes. I can't really explain exactly how it changed me. I wish I was how I was 9 months ago. :(
 
^ This belongs in MDMA discussion... or The Dark Side.

Your appearance changed? How so? Could your depression and anxiety be related to that? Have you seen a psychiatrist?
 
Sorry, I put it in the Dark Side right now.

Anyway, I got uglier and with dark bags under my eyes, i'm not trying to be cocky but I use to be "hot"/"cute" and what not but that's not what girls think now. I honestly think my depression was increased because of the MDMA. No I haven't seen one, but my mom can get me one, talking stuff out always helps me.
 
Just dark bags? I don't see how that really makes you uglier, matter of taste in my opinion. My girlfriend and I think dark bags under the eyes are kinda hot actually...

It's unlikely that a one time dose could do this, but it might have set something off in you especially if you are prone to depression. Does your family have a history of it?

How old are you?
 
It's not just dark bags, it's something else, I honestly can't explain it but I got uglier. I can't get girls anymore like I use to be able to. No one in my family is depressed, my family is full of Christians. Nope, no history of depression. Just me :/
I just turned 15..
 
You are too young to be using drugs, even alcohol, in my opinion... it sounds preachy but I'm only 20 now and was abusing drugs from around the age of 15 and it has had serious effects on my mental health. I suffer from manic-depression and anxiety and abusing substances as I was developing only made me worse, especially becoming addicted to codeine. A week ago I ended up in the psych ward, not a good experience.

I don't think you got uglier; I think your self-esteem has dropped due to the depression and that's why you feel uglier. You've lost your confidence and it's affecting your social skills.

I just need to wash my hair, but I'd like to keep talking with you if you will be on for a while?
 
IamMyself said:
Sorry, I put it in the Dark Side right now.

Anyway, I got uglier and with dark bags under my eyes, i'm not trying to be cocky but I use to be "hot"/"cute" and what not but that's not what girls think now. I honestly think my depression was increased because of the MDMA. No I haven't seen one, but my mom can get me one, talking stuff out always helps me.
Click to expand...

i can't really fathom a connection between 1 single ecstasy dosing and one's appearance?

I could understand if you were saying it changed your personality..now girls don't like me

but 1 dose permenently altered your looks???HOW??
 
I would have to agree with Mr. Blonde. It is most likely your self-esteem. Have you been sleeping less? that could be a reason for the dar bags under your eyes. I know when I don't get enough sleep I get dark bags undery my eyes.
 
The after-effects of a single hit of E should be gone within a week or two but I suppose that if you were already borderline depressed the additional serotonin deficit that happens the week after you roll could put you over the edge & into a full-blown depression. Either way what you need to do now is deal with the depression. Go see a psychiatrist, get yourself diagnosed & take it from there. If a hit of E put you over the edge then I see no reason why a short-term regimen of antidepressants couldn't pull you back from it.
 
I think it is my self esteem, I get NO SLEEP whatsoever. But that doesn't explain why I still get not girls and why I can't talk to them? Maybe my depression just took my social skills?
 
At 15 many kids start going through many changes, physically and mentally. Your hormones are in overdrive, your body and your mind begin changing, depression can be pretty common. Im not sure if a psychiatrist would help you at 15, the saying that I think is true with a psychiatrist iscan only work if you want, it when it comes to a psychiatrist is, "it can only work if you want it to work." I think I had problems at 15 as well, I sure as hell didnt want to go to no psychiatrizst though. You have to want to go.

Also try not to take anything too seriously, when you get to my age you will look back and wonder why the hell such petty things made you upset. I also wasnt a stud with the ladies in my early teens, then in my late teens and 20's I was getting girls every time me and my friends went out.

I also agree with Blonde, stay away from drugs, probably even alcohol though it may be hard to avoid as go through those years.

Good luck.
 
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IamMyself said:
I think it is my self esteem, I get NO SLEEP whatsoever. But that doesn't explain why I still get not girls and why I can't talk to them? Maybe my depression just took my social skills?
Click to expand...

I was horrible in high school. I stayed up to watch the Howard Stern show every night which ended at midnight. After that I had such a hard time sleeping knowing I had to be up in a few hours. A lot of the time I would take a nap after school at home or a friends. But I always fell asleep in class or would skip school. I was not the most popular kid in school, but I had some close friends, one very close friend, and that was all I needed. My social skills were not great as well.

Maybe you sahould see a doctor about an anti-depressant. Its hard to do but try not to worry or take that kind of stuff so seriously.
 
you need to see your doctor n be 100% completely honest with him, n he will get you the proper help you need. Believe me, you will feel alot better when you get it out n realize that you will be helped to get better.
 
dude your in the smae boat as me when i was in highschool i was the class clown dident give a flfying fuck what poeple thought of me had a root here n there but at 15 i left school and became a bricklayer and was using ALOT of weed every day (i was using about 3-4 grams of weed a day)then starting taking a fuckload of MDMA every weekend for about 8 months.
then my stepmum cheated on my dad n fucked off n i had a home invasion where my dad got knocked out n i got hit with a hammer a few times this left me with social anxity deprison and insomnia i had to go on valium and anti deprisonts for ages but they did alot worse than they did good (ecspuly when i starting abusing my valium). i am now 18 and i am much much better i have been 'good" now for about 8 months.

its all a matter of time man it will pass i dident think it would but it did and i dident even notice my self getting better til i perfectly fine again......
 
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