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I need to help my friend, wtf

C

Clusterone666

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 16, 2008
Messages
241
Location
California
I seriously need some help :( My friend just recently tried coke for his first time and he is HOOKED on that shit, and the thing is my friend isn't just someone who does drugs occaisinly, he is the guy that goes on binges, for instance over the course of the month he's done over 40+ ecstasy pills, 60+ Concerta pills, shit load of weed (normal) alcohol (normal) 1 gram of coke his first time in 12 hours. 10 vicoden, and some other shit that i don't know. He's my BEST friend, and he used to be a HUGE meth adict, now I do drugs too, but I can keep my cool, I will admit I go overboard sometimes, but nothing compared to this guy, now before we did coke, he told us (Me and my gf who is also his best friend too) that if he did it more than once, to tell his mom (he's 16) he's been in rehab probably 5 times? Maybe 4? For meth, and other drugs. Everytime he comes out nothing has changed, he usually goes in on his own accord, and comes out sober for a month or two and then goes on a SERIOUS drug binge. He has been selling his stuff LEFT and RIGHT for drugs, he recently ran out of shit to sell about a week ago, he tried coke 2 days ago. Now he's looking for more shit to sell (his mom's jewellery and shit). Ok so i have 2 questions?
1. How does someone get/make Ibogaine? I have heard of the healing properties of this and I am thinking of getting some for him.
2. What the hell should I do? I'm worried about him, he tends to do all the drugs he has in one night (13 pills in one night after not rolling for a year.). I know sending him to rehab is only temporary, but he is craving bad, he punched a god damn hole in his wall because he's craving so bad. Seriously guys what do I do? I'm scared for him and so is my girl, if you have any more questions ask.
Thanks
 
There's nothing you can do at this point, really.

When I was 17 and harboring a drug problem even worse than your friend's, the only thing that snapped me into shape was this: One night I was asleep in my room, two big men came in and literally snatched me out of bed. They threw me in a car--all while I was cursing my father and telling him I fucking hated him--and took me to the airport. I was sent to a sort of reform school/rehab/Girl Interrupted-style place in Vermont, a mere 1,052 miles from my home in Georgia. I was there for over eleven months and 100% sober the entire time.

I personally do not believe in 30 day rehabs because I have not known a single person who has gone to rehab for a month and STAYED sober upon returning home. Sure, they might get a month or even a few months of sobriety in, but they almost always relapse within a year. I'm assuming your friend has never been to a rehab that lasts more than one month and when he returned home he was not strictly prohibited from doing anything that might trigger him. To me it sounds like he has way too much freedom at this point. If he could handle having freedom I would say, as a parent, give it to him. But obviously he can't. His mom shouldn't even let him out of the freaking house. He's only 16 and therefore still a minor. She only has two more years to be able to influence him. After that it's all left up to him, and obviously he can't make wise decisions. She needs to fucking send him away FOR REAL this time. It was the best thing my parents did for me even though I fucking hated them for it for nearly a year. The whole experience mostly sucked, and I felt like I was the only sane person there. None of that really matters though. I learned to appreciate my freedom I had back home, and I learned to like being sober as I eventually came to a point where I realized you could enjoy life without drugs. It took forever, but I found that place. I even learned to appreciate shit like soda, watching movies, staying up late, getting to go out with my parents on leave, eating in restaurants, wearing whatever I wanted, etc.; things that people don't appreciate without having them taken away. Once everything you love is taken from you, you really learn to appreciate it once it's gone.

Unfortunately I moved back to Georgia a few years later and relapsed and became even worse than ever (I started shooting up drugs even). By then I was definitely an adult and my parents couldn't do anything other than cut me off, which had little effect as I soon got a job and made my own money. I didn't need them anymore. My relationship with them completely crumbled again.

After that, I finally realized I was going to die and moved out of the state altogether. I have been sober since then. But enough about my story. I just tell it because your friend sounds SO similar to the way I was at his age, and I know what worked for me. I saw plenty of my friends going to these 30 day rehabs and coming out of them only to stay sober for a few weeks, tops. They were a waste of time and money. They would have been for me as well. I think truly getting 100% sober requires more than 30 days of B.S. It requires a complete change in lifestyle, and that takes more than a measly month. It has been proven that people who dedicate at least 90 days to getting sober have a MUCH higher likelihood of staying sober after leaving than those who only go to what I refer to as "vacation treatment," (as many of these rehabs are literally like taking a vacation with little work on sobriety and more focus on detoxing with some therapy on the side).

Seriously though. The bottom line is this: His mom NEEDS to get him out of that environment. Sure, he'll hate her for it, but he'll grow up a little bit and learn to appreciate it like I did. I was so fucking rebellious at that point and honestly, I didn't even appreciate what my parents did until well after I left that facility. I still think that place fucking sucked, but it was the thing that got me back on my feet and I know it was for the best. I would do the same thing for my child in a heartbeat.

If she cannot afford something like this, I don't know what to say. She needs to be really strict with him at the very least. Like I said, he's still a minor, so she can still control him. She sounds too lax. He's obviously already rebellious and juvenile enough (he sounds very immature), so it's not like it'll make a difference in his opinion of her if she actually lays the law down. Sure, tell his mom. He might hate you as well but fuck it, it's for the better. He'll learn to appreciate it later down the road. He can't hold you keeping his best interest in mind against you and if he does, he's not your friend.
 
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I think truly getting 100% sober requires more than 30 days of B.S. It requires a complete change in lifestyle, and that takes more than a measly month. It has been proven that people who dedicate at least 90 days to getting sober have a MUCH higher likelihood of staying sober after leaving than those who only go to what I refer to as "vacation treatment,"
Click to expand...

30 days is hardly enough time to become adjusted to your new surroundings, or re sensitizing yourself to your own thought process.

Sure, tell his mom. He might hate you as well but fuck it, it's for the better. He'll learn to appreciate it later down the road. He can't hold you keeping his best interest in mind against you and if he does, he's not your friend.
Click to expand...

he asked you too... i doubt he thought you would, and i take it as more of a self serving premonition, where he feels more in control, by admitting he is or wants to lose control, and is putting some of the blame/responsibility on you, or gaining preempt justification by leaving you as the one to say, "when"; so its a tidy corner he has you 3 painted in.

im sure he will want to kill you at first lol, but after all my stints came to a close. i was thankful and knew i needed it, badly. i cant imagine what would of become of my life if i hadnt gotten those last 2 dwi's. im thankful now... being in jail withdrawing from 6mg klonopin and a mass of alcohol was an absolute nightmare, and life still can be, but at least i have that much more control over my life, now and in the future.

just, if you do tell her, make sure there are no drugs, or that they are in her possession if the police become involved. it would not be good, although its usually the case, to start off life again, under the cuff, with all that stress. if she is the type to not care or see what the court system can do to a person, tell her his chances of sobriety will be greater, and easier for him, with out the looming thought of jail and piss tests. thats all way too stressful, why punish someone who is obviously very dependent on these chemicals, for a reason.
 
It's the one million dollar question (Actually it would probably be worth considerably more than one million if you had the answer),

How do you get someone who wants to do drugs to not want to do drugs?


This is something that we all struggle with or have struggled with at some time, especially in this forum. In fact, a lot of posts here could be boiled down to this question alone.


For me it happened organically, out of myself, just like that, and i have always been thankful for that. I have always considered the desire to quit using substance such and such a huge blessing.

Now how to get that to come up in someone else is a whole matter itself. Ask any parent or relative of a drug user and they will tell you. As an outsider you want control. You are the parent and you want to say that you can do something, if you just try hard enough you can change another human being. That is fine, it is certainly better than not trying. I just don't think there is a good and clear formula for changing someone's insides from the outsides.

I like the idea above about sending them to a sort of rehab camp, i suppose. I mean, i had a friend in high school who had that happen to him and it didn't work out. He was back using soon after and now he is a triple felon for drug dealing.

But you have to do something right? You simply cannot sit and watch someone destroy theirself after they prove no internal mechanism for correction.

Punishment is a wrong way to go in my opinion. The best way would be to find out what this kid can and likes to do, and focus on him developing his life around that. I always took pride in doing well in school after being a heavy drug user, it gave me a smug satisfaction to say that i was this way and now i can do better academically than the people who never even tried it. The key is to get yourself involved in the act of living, when you really start trying to live you find that the whole drug game is a just a huge drain on everything else. Drugs are incredibly selfish, you learn that they definitely have their own interests above your own, and living without them is about reclaiming yourself and your own interests.

Now if i could tell you how to make someone come to that point, i would a wealthy wealthy man.
 
cocaine was my life, that and djing.

the last "run" lasted over a year, it was daily, it was every where, its was nothing but making me miserable, and waiting to take my life, or send me to prison...it couldnt of lasted, i wouldnt do hords of it everyday, but always a G at least, i always had quit a bit more around, and if i dint, someone else always wanted some.

a G would usually wind up being between $5-20 dollars, or free, as finder fee, from both end usually haha. my dealer had to keep me hooked, so lots of surprises for the patient ones who left with zip-lock bags full of chunks of fish-scale.

sounds wonderful huh?!? NOPE ZZzrNT.

riding big and dirty every day and night starts to take its toll on ones psyche! and being handed and paying next to nothing just fueled that fire even more!!!!

moral of the story is, once you become part of the game, live it and think youre a player, youre going to lose eventually. having such access, and having the vivacious attachment that sounds familiar with your friend is bad. dead bad. nothing else matters, not even your freedom, i suppose because life doesnt seem worth living or putting up with, with out it.

i remember getting home one night, i finished what i had for the evening, and was pissed that all i had was a 1/2G. at home... my window had been open, and i lived in central texas, so my room was very humid, i went to pour the stuff out onto the back of my acoustic guitar, and went to chop it. the stuff was gooped up and melting from the humidity, i started to become frantic, and instead of going back into the house and allowing it to just as quickly re solidify, i try making it into 2 lines and sniffff, snifff then plop. the whole 1/2g or most of it, stuck to the straw, and fell out of my nose onto the carpet...

i wanted to scream, and pull my hair out! the desperation was back, once more, like always. its sickening the feeling, like utter abandonment, as if know one else existed or there was no chance for anything, i had been sentenced to years in prison!

thats what i remember, stuff like that now, the needles and the do or die neeed. its horrific the situations one puts themselves in, the people you have to eventually deal with; who would assume rat on you or shoot you before a hair on their head gets touched. these people and these situations are what becomes of it, that is what you could become; kicking in doors, transporting large amounts so some one else doesnt get caught, for you to gain a petty amount in comparison, guns etc.

profiting for yourself by creating misery for others, the more miserable they are the better for you...


how did i stop, after all those years and all that being what i accepted as my life?

i went and feel in love,

i havent even craved once since, as you can see, i hold it in high disgust.



how has it been? whats been going on? care to give us an update?!?
 
^^^^ as the post stipulates... he's 16... and he told his friends in advance to notify his parents if something like this happened.

the way I see it, even if he goes to rehab, and stays clean for a month, he's still better off there than being left to his own devices. unfortunately it sounds like this kid is on a one-way path to jail or an early coffin, but until such time arrives, rehab is his best option.
 
Biggest lesson I've learned lately: You can't change people. You can guide them, give them pointers, but ultimately it's up to them to make the decision to change.

Don't lose your peace over someone else's bad choices- it's not worth it.
 
theres nothing you can do except make it clear that you havent turned on him, that you are angry about the stupid things hes done but that you are still on his side.
 
This person is already a person, an organism. They are made up of everything, 16 years or so, that came before now. All of those years have added up to what they are now. It takes a lot of work to fundamentally change a 16 year organic development.

-feeling philosophical this evening.
 
Clusterone666 said:
I seriously need some help :( My friend just recently tried coke for his first time and he is HOOKED on that shit, and the thing is my friend isn't just someone who does drugs occaisinly, he is the guy that goes on binges, for instance over the course of the month he's done over 40+ ecstasy pills, 60+ Concerta pills, shit load of weed (normal) alcohol (normal) 1 gram of coke his first time in 12 hours. 10 vicoden, and some other shit that i don't know. He's my BEST friend, and he used to be a HUGE meth adict, now I do drugs too, but I can keep my cool, I will admit I go overboard sometimes, but nothing compared to this guy, now before we did coke, he told us (Me and my gf who is also his best friend too) that if he did it more than once, to tell his mom (he's 16) he's been in rehab probably 5 times? Maybe 4? For meth, and other drugs. Everytime he comes out nothing has changed, he usually goes in on his own accord, and comes out sober for a month or two and then goes on a SERIOUS drug binge. He has been selling his stuff LEFT and RIGHT for drugs, he recently ran out of shit to sell about a week ago, he tried coke 2 days ago. Now he's looking for more shit to sell (his mom's jewellery and shit). Ok so i have 2 questions?
1. How does someone get/make Ibogaine? I have heard of the healing properties of this and I am thinking of getting some for him.
2. What the hell should I do? I'm worried about him, he tends to do all the drugs he has in one night (13 pills in one night after not rolling for a year.). I know sending him to rehab is only temporary, but he is craving bad, he punched a god damn hole in his wall because he's craving so bad. Seriously guys what do I do? I'm scared for him and so is my girl, if you have any more questions ask.
Thanks
Click to expand...


I can't answer number 1, but I hope that someone else can.

2. He needs rehab. He's at the point where he's incapable of stopping this himself. He passed that point a long time ago. I feel for him. I would definitely talk to him about getting into rehab until he is better, which can take a very long time. He's in danger right now. Not only from a possible overdose since he tends to take very large amounts of drugs at once, but he might end up stealing or robbing. He could end up getting involved with the wrong kind of people. You've seen what he's like. There are other people that are even worse than him, and they're not people that you want your best friend assosciating with. Rehab is really important at this point, before he gets seriously hurt. A month or two isn't going to do anything. That's just not enough time. His parents need to send him there and keep him there until he is truly better, which can be very hard to tell at times.


I also recommend that you learn from him. You say that you're in control now, but so did everyone else who's a full blown addict. I'm not trying to impose my standards upon you, but I'd definitely advise you to stop using cocaine and other harder drugs. You're playing a dangerous game, and you can end up becoming just like him. I know, I must sound like your parents.
 
Thanks for all the replies, We got everything fixed and he hasn't done it since, he even thanked us for not letting him do it, we had to get our dealer NOT to sell it to him, and it's been almost a week or a week idk. Thankfully
But thank you everyone
 
I was faced with the same situation with my sister, but instead of coke she was addicted to OCs. She confided in me with her problem, and the first thing I did was tell my mother. She was stealing money and objects from our family and pawning them off just to scrape up some money for her next high. From the time I told my mother until recently, she would constantly tell me how much she hated me and how much I screwed up her life (she was at the time a freshman at Merrimack College, an expensive private college in MA with loads of rich kids), but recently she had thanked me for what I had done. It may not be the popular decision, and ultimately it is up to him whether he wants to get sober, but you can at least point him in the right direction. I wish you luck, and I hope for the best for both you and your friend.
 
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