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i need support, i have not one

ash0710

ash0710

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 22, 2014
Messages
17
Location
Dallas
My husband is an alcoholic but has been sober 6 years, he is also to point of leaving, if it weren't for me paying all bills he would be gone. I have never done anything (like cheat) for drugs. My mom dad etc don't frown upon drugs, its always been.like that even for them. I work alot can't tell Co workers and with working as much as I do I have no time to be a friend. I need advice support, something. I can get off Meth but staying away is not that simple. Seems lie every 3 weeks I quit I find myself on a 2-3 day or week binge. Its very painful to not have the support especially from husband. Its not an excuse to get messed up but the emotional agony gets so overwhelming
 
Hey ash and welcome to BL=D

What you are going through is totally normal with an addiction.. it cycling through the addictive cycle.. which a few short explanations are found in this thread.

Addiction Guide
Take a look through that and you may find some common ground with it.

Here is some more info that may help you begin to put together a picture of whats going on...
The Brain and Addiction

So we find ourselves up against it<3.. and just deciding never to do it again just isn't working and after a time seems clear it wont work.. so something more or a different approach is needed... If you want share what you have done and we will see what wisdom and support we can give.. this isn't easy, but if my slacker ass can do it like me, so can you;)

So how have you started to try and make this turn out all good for you?
 
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How is your Husband staying sober? 12 Steps, Therapy... anything like that? Would you be opposed to seeing a therapist and/or going to an NA/AA meeting?
 
After he detoxed and went through outpatient and learning at 30 he was well into stage 2 of liver failure. Was enough for him. He doesn't do meetings but doesn't drink, so saying in recovery in regards to him is he just doesn't drink. I have set up therapist appt at the office my Med management Dr is in as well. I have a horrible fear of strangers as bad things have happened and I have steered clear of any person other than work some family and people like my daughters moms friends. Save that detail for another time. When much younger i was court ordered but I am not comfortable in them. I have always been heavy on the loner side
 
I am past the point of hating it and do not want to pick it up again. I have way to much to lose and its just one big vicious cycle. Emotional pain is not a area I have any skills at
 
As scary as it is to trust a stranger, counselors are trained to help you feel comfortable getting past that. It sounds like right now is the time to push through your fears and get some outside help. As you say, you have a lot to lose and nothing at all to gain by continuing to use.<3
 
ash0710 said:
After he detoxed and went through outpatient and learning at 30 he was well into stage 2 of liver failure. Was enough for him. He doesn't do meetings but doesn't drink, so saying in recovery in regards to him is he just doesn't drink. I have set up therapist appt at the office my Med management Dr is in as well. I have a horrible fear of strangers as bad things have happened and I have steered clear of any person other than work some family and people like my daughters moms friends. Save that detail for another time. When much younger i was court ordered but I am not comfortable in them. I have always been heavy on the loner side
Click to expand...

In my experience, just quitting makes me totally miserable. I need to find new outlets and places of support.
 
Hey, I'm new to this area of the board and I'll be here for ya too Ash! You can do it and we're here to help :D

If you aren't into the AA/NA thing or can't afford therapy give this website a shot

https://rational.org/index.php?id=36

that'll lead you right to the crash course to see if it's for you, it's basically free and it's all about being able to stay CLEAN and STRONG through a rational, scientific way and guess what? THERE ARE NO GROUPS OR ANY OF THAT; I too am a loner and personally do not agree with AA. I have tried AA many times, did the steps, worked it, and I just wasn't happy. With Rational Recovery and AVRT, I have never felt this strong over my addiction!!
 
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