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I NEED help quitting Heroin!!!

GirlInterrupted

GirlInterrupted

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 29, 2010
Messages
110
Location
Rehab & Hospitals
Feel free to move this to a more appropriate place...

I'm at that point where I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I've been using dope for a few years.
I was habitually IVing daily for a few months. I successfully quit using for a good 3 months.
I made a stupid mistake a month ago by using again, thinking I could control everything this time. I was wrong.

It has been a month already since my relapse. Since my relapse I've been using everyday. Basically back to my old lifestyle, maybe a little worse this time even. I've been using even more then I used to.

It's absolutely no fun. I don't even use to get high. I just use to be able to function.
I don't want to live like this anymore.

I've been wanting to quit for some time but it feels like fucken suicide!
When I wake up in the morning without opiates in my system, I'm too weak & sick to even make it to the bathroom.
Sometimes I question if I am even alive. I feel like a dead corpse.

I a job that I depend on for income and I can't afford to lose it.
I really want to quit my habit but I fear that if I do I will be too sick to go to work and I might lose my job. That just cannot happen!

What option is there for me???
Please help me!!!
I'm very desperate for some help.

I can not afford rehab or methadone clinics.

I really want to stop but I am unable to work when I'm WDing.

Some of my friends are on Subox, but does it eliminate the cold turkey symptoms?

I'm a mess. Please help me.
 
Kratom was so useless for me :P

Last time I kick I had the help of vicodins and other meds.
I don't have any pharmaceutical opiates this time though. I was involved in a car crash last time and I had loads of pain meds to assist me.

I don't recall last time being as bad as this time...but maybe it's just a mental thing... It doesn't feel like it though..
 
Hi GirlInterrupted, I too am in a similar situation to yourself, and just want you to know that you arent alone in your suffering. Methadone has not quelled my cravings and subby didnt either, I may have to go the naltrexone route. Good luck
 
Hi Girl, I wish I could help, I have someone close to me going through that right now as well. From being on this site the last few months, I suggested the stuff I'd read about Loperamide, but I don't know if it would be as helpful for H withdrawals. But it's something to look into, any little thing that can help...other than that you have lots of moral support on here, you did it once, you can do it again! <3
 
Had enough, eh? Awesome! If you are desperate enough to do the work it takes to recover, you will someday see this as the best thing to happen to you. I've been clean for more than six months through a no-cost program, known as the 12 steps. If you are ready to thoroughly work the 12 steps, you will know a new freedom and a new happiness. I've found that I am able to conquer any personal problem by applying the principles of 12 step recovery in all areas of my life. You never have to use again, to be afraid again, to be lonely again...

What has worked for me (and countless others) is picking a few meetings to attend regularly, finding a sponsor, and working the steps. There are many ways to sponsor others, but I would not recommend picking a sponsor that says you are not ready to work the steps. Be willing to get out of your comfort zone and take direction. There are many 12 step fellowships: AA, NA, CA, CMA, HA (Heroin Anonymous), MA, ect.. No matter which fellowship (or fellowships) you choose, the members have been exactly where you are emotionally. So anyways, recovery is possible, and it can be a lot of fun! All you have to do is stop fighting, reach out and ask for help.

Best of luck! Please PM me for more information, advice, or just to talk.
 
Do you have any sick days or vacation time accrued?

My advice is to bite the bullet. Take a week, or even five days, off from work. If you have children, arrange for their care for the duration of at least the physical part of your withdrawals. (If I knew you personally, I would definitely step up to the plate to help you in this regard.)

Prior to your w/d, clean the house & get caught up on laundry, as you won't have energy to do much at all for the first several days. Also, it was helpful for me, when I was going through cold turkey w/d, to do so in a clean, orderly environment.

Then, go to the store & lay in a bunch of supplies. Some people are adherents of vitamin/herbal supplements and the like, but I know absolutely nothing about those & have never really used them, so if that's something you'd like to look into, I am sure someone on here knows a lot about them. Anyway, make sure you buy a BIG bottle of loperamide. Dollar General sells them cheaply, & they come in a bottle, not those ridiculous blister packs which are a bitch to get open, especially when one is going to be needing to take rather large quantities at once.

Purchase yourself some ibuprofin, acetominophin, naproxyn--whichever of these you find most useful for pain relief. For me, it has always been ibu.

Get some soda, Gatorade, vitamin water, whatever it is you like to drink, so that you can keep yopurself hydrated. Also, canned soup, frozen dinners, easily prepared/microvawed foods so that you don't have to dick around in the kitchen when the withdrawal hungries hit ya. I like having fruit & sugary snacks on hand, as well, along with munchy things likem potato chips, pretzels, & nuts.

Buy a small notebook to journal your experience. (I find putting pen to paper to be much more "comforting" and therapeutic than typing on a computer when I am not feeling well.)

Find some benzos. I have never had an issue getting them prescribed, and legal means of obtaining them are always by far the best. Make sure you'll have enough to at least take a little at night, so that you can get some sleep, cause otherwise, you probably won't.

I also used to lay in a little alcohol, (beer in my case), but if you do so, you might or might not wind up partaking of it. Sometimes it is a little helpful; sometimes, it isn't.

Keep a stack of clean, comfy, cotton t-shirts handy so that you can change as frequently as you like, so that you can change often once the w/d sweats kick into full gear. I would say the same for bedding, also, and especially pillow cases.

If you have a SO or a friend you trust and feel comfortable to help you out, that would be beneficial. Ideally, it would be someone who would sit with you if you need to talk, but also know to stay away when you are just too miserable for any kind of conversation. This person could also help you keep yourself & your place clean, help fix you food, bring you drinks & snacks, run errands for you, take you out if you need fresh air, etc.

Once you have it all set up, just wake up the first morning & hunker down for a bumpy but worthwhile ride. Take the lope as needed. Same with the OTC pain reliever. Take a small amount of benzo in the morning, and again at night so you can rest. If you have enough, it is possible to sleep away many hours of the day, at least throughout the most agonizing part of it. On or about day 5, I would start to reduce my use quite a bit, so that you don't develop another, more dangerous addiction.

The beauty of cold turkey is that, once the physical part is over, it is REALLY over. How you stay clean is up to you, and there is no one size fits all.

I just thought I'd share what worked for me in the past.

best wishes, you can DO this, and keep us posted!


Justine
 
its quit simple, but not easy.

how i quit heroin...and yes, i have had a few relapses with H since...but i realized it was stupid and pointless, a waste of money. i didnt even really get high.

what i did:
i got on suboxone. i started going to NA/AA meetings.

this is just my opinion: i dont suggest methadone to anyone ever. i tell people my experience with both suboxone and methadone. my experience with methadone was not a good one. once you decide to get off methadone, its gonna be hell. so i highly suggest going on suboxone. i think sub is a miracle drug. i love it! it works for me and many others...i think it would really help you in your quest to kick heroin.
 
Thanks for everyones response!

I saw the post about the Suboxone Assistance Program and I don't think I am covered under it because I do have insurance. The thing is my insurance does not cover suboxone.

I had a question about suboxone, when I decide to stop using and go on subs will I still experience withdrawl symptoms?

I'm staying away from methodone! I heard kicking that is even worse!

Last time I quit I tried loperamide and it didn't help much at all :[
I took 21 pills and that didn't even stop the runs...
I got an even bigger headache. So I never tried it again.
 
Subs take the w/ds away in about 5 mins. try to get into a subxone program. If u are serious they will help you. It aint easy but try to go to meetings or talk to someone about it.
 
if you can afford dope you can afford a methadone clinic!!!! mine is like 30 bucks a week and i get 70mg daily and it is an absolute miracle drug for me-no more waking up sick no more worrying about how ur gonna fall asleep or get drugs...it literraly keeps you with all the benefits of using without all the physical withdrawl and legal problems that come with it...only bad thing is if u do ever wanna get off meth. ittle be a bitch

^^^i have no insurance that 30 dollars is cash just so you kno
 
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Quitting

I'm in colorado and they got some programs for subutex my doctor is really caring and fixed me (2 year +2 therapy ) anything I could do I'll try I was in a similar problem but not the same much love for ya!:)
 
There is no advice. YOU JUST DO IT. That is it. Either it be through a suboxone doctor or medical detox...you just do it. You have to suffer through it. That is the price we pay for that awesome feeling we opiate lovers fell for...If you really want it, you just do it. I quit cold turkey and my kidneys failed but now? After like 10 years of relapses? I NEVER want to be strung out again. I respect the drug now. I still use others. But heroin? My body smells it too instantly and reacts too much and I just need to remember that hell.

And there is generic Subutex now which cuts the price. I bought per pill and it was 5 bucks in California. There are clinics you can get on a list to medically detox as well.
 
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Such a familiar but terrible situation. Waking up from a terrible night of sleep, sweaty and clammy, feeling like a sloth, anxiety through the roof, hot/cold flashes, wanting to explode/implode/vaporize/anything but live like this...and that's just the physical side...the psychological part isn't any better. No one can help you but you...as cheesy a saying as that is, I've learned just how true it is. You can get on here and get advice from people, even get a specific schedule of how to taper down and cope with the withdrawals, but you have to want it to happen for it to work. anjalimaya is right, it's the price we pay for the awesome feeling.
Suboxone (buprenorphine) is the best way to coast through the worst of it, but even that needs care and attention, as it is still a strong opiate. Tramadol works wonders too, if used in the right way. I find that getting on here, reading stories just like this, help me in my situation..even just by reminding me of why i quit in the first place.
 
Suboxone seems to be the only logical route all though its not an option for me.
In another year or 2 (or god forbid 10) you might find yourself still on suboxone, and wanting to get off that worse than the heroin.
Whats not fun for me with opiates is wds, suboxone gives them to you too, and the longer you're on the faster your body will learn to metabolize it, throwing you in wds quicker. I wasn't on sub long but I'd take it in the morning, and when I'd wake up the next morning was already having those icky wd symptoms. Sure it takes 2-3 to come on full force, but I just hate not feeling right when I wake up in the mornings.
Theres still that repetitive knowledge of "I need to put something in my body just to feel good".
Also, if you become complacent on suboxone, and decide to get off longer down the road, prepare for the possibility that you wil be depressed, and majorly apathetic towards life for quite some time. I find the physical wds from sub to be not as bad as most opiates, but they last forever, and it seems the paws phase of wd is very delayed as well.

Suboxone would be a decent idea as if you stop now it will be hard to hold a job, and you will likely feel more stable, but it also becomes a trap for many people. People will often say "well whats the bad thing about being on sub for 10 years"? The bad part is you need your opiate receptors to be happy in life, and if you're on sub that long, and decide to quit, noone can tell you if you will ever feel "real" happiness again. I'll be honest I never really feel a huge urgency to stop opiates because they might jeapordize my physical survival, its really all about my emotional survival. Good chance is I'll be alive 10-20 years from now (being realistic), but I can't guarantee I'll also be happy at that time. And my motivation for getting off opiates is always because of that. "The sooner I just stop and get through that shit, the sooner I can expect to be happy with the little things in life". Switching to sub merely delays that.
But really, its your life, do what you think is best and good luck.
 
To answer the original post. The bold states that you don't want to live anymore.

I'm medically prescribed 4mg of Klonopin a day. Its not for anxiety, it's for my epileptic ticks. That being said, I often sell my pills because when I look at a full bottle of 120 pills, I feel I can spare a few. However when I do that I go through Benzo withdrawal. For refrence, I had a terrible accident where I was prescribed 3 40mg OC a day. My record (I'm so ashamed of) is 480mg OC in a 24 hour period. I had to stop. I know how detox on opiates feel, but I have so say benzo withdrawal is worse.

The whole point of this is to say that you get this feeling of suicide. Yet once you recognize that it is just a feeling, something that is being caused by WD's, you can begin to process it much differently. Once I realized that my suicidal thoughts were caused by WD's i started to look at them differently.

From my perspective (the only one I know!) it's hard, but remember it's the WD talking, not your actual self. You need to wake up every morning and tell yourself that (by "You Need" I mean, it helps to remind yourself that it's the WD and not your self that is suicidal!)
 
Ideally detox with Suboxone over a two week period, if you're not ready for that and you feel like you'll be back at the H I'd just get a script. It worked for me, and it really works I don't crave H at all on subs for the most part. I've relapsed a couple times for a short time and each time I couldn't wait to get back on the subs. The downside is I'm addicted to the subs but it beats the hell out of an H addiction in my opinion.

So that's my opinion, subs, if they work for you I believe you will be very happy with your decision. They don't cost anywhere near as much as a daily dope habit either, do what you have to do to get the money and you won't regret it. Even if you find it's not for you the effort will give you hope and put you in contact with people who can give you other options.

Best of luck to you, being hooked on H sucks after the first month or so, you can do it!
 
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