Hello everyone. I've been browsing this forum for a while but only just registered. What I have seen is a supportive and non judgemental community whereas to society we are scorned.
I have a long story but I have to tell it. Before I do I want to thank everyone for their time and any help they may offer.
On September 23rd 2015 I was riding to work on my beloved, spoiled and cared for Yamaha YZF600R at 5am. I was going the speed limit and riding safe. But these 25 miles would be the last of the 9000 ridden over the past 6 months previous to the 23rd. Less than a minute from work an on duty officer hiding in a driveway in the dark pulled out, did an illegal u turn and did not look left. I, was left. I cannot remember anything from that morning and I am atleast grateful for that, as the ptsd is bad enough as it is.
I woke up in the hospital.
Their was a kind nurse by my side and I asked her what happened (you see it in the movies and never think it could happen to you.). She said an officer had hit me. I asked a few questions and then asked her for a hug, deeply sorrowful, which she gave me happily. I was very drugged on fentanyl and whatever else and I don't remember anything else.
Over the course of the day I found out, between naps, that I had broken my right Radius, Ulnar, Wrist, Neck and left orbital, had a concussion, injury to my left Knee, groin, and upper right thigh as well as a sprained left wrist.
My face was covered in blood and glass because my full face helmets visor had broken exposing part of my face and allowing the orbital blowout and lacerations to my face. I was in a full neck brace and my left eye was blood red, not white. I had emergency surgery to reconstruct my arm that day. I remember my arm being set (the ulna pierced the skin) and unimaginable pain before blacking out. I nearly never awoke from surgery and it took 6 hours of the staff yelling my name and whatever else before I did.
8 days later after I had stabilized I was sent home with my parents with flexirol and 5mg oxycodone. I could barely move and was obviously in more pain than anyone should endure. A week later I collapsed at the dinner table and was rushed to the ER where a blood clot was discovered in my left lung. So after a course of xarelto and all the suffering associated with my injuries of which I could go into great detail and trauma a wrist surgery was determined to be necessary January 16th. It went well and so I kept going.
Then they finally got it through their thick heads after an MRI that something was wrong with my knee. Contrary to popular belief a knee is only made to bend one way, not three. And so began a redoubled horrible suffering after reconstructive knee surgery February 16th.
I was in newly fresh pain comparable only to 1 or 2 months after the accident and ended up going into shock from a daily attempt to use crutches as instructed when my leg got stuck under me and I screamed and went into shock as I was placed into bed by my parents. The ambulance came, I was admitted to the ER for pain management for one week.
During that time I had dilaudid every 2 hours IV and 5-15mg oxy every 3 hours. Now lemme tell you, I was very very strong mentally until knee surgery and the larger doses of oxy and oxycontin and dilaudid. I went weeks without it at a time until that hospitalization. At that point I slowly began to lose control due to the pain and mental trauma of the accident and time since. Fast forward to now and I am walking and can see properly with minimal nerve damage and am gradually restoring function to my right arm, wrist and hand.
I also am in pain every day that tylenol does little to nothing for. That has resulted in daily use of oxy from 5-30mg a day. I am also expecting delivery of 10 30mg oxys which are 3 times bigger than the 10s I have left. I am on antidepressants and I am suicidal, have bad anxiety, ptsd, mood swings and feel like I am dying from the inside out. I have come here because I don't know what to do and I am afraid of what I may do.
If you read all that here's a hug if you want it and thank you.
I have a long story but I have to tell it. Before I do I want to thank everyone for their time and any help they may offer.
On September 23rd 2015 I was riding to work on my beloved, spoiled and cared for Yamaha YZF600R at 5am. I was going the speed limit and riding safe. But these 25 miles would be the last of the 9000 ridden over the past 6 months previous to the 23rd. Less than a minute from work an on duty officer hiding in a driveway in the dark pulled out, did an illegal u turn and did not look left. I, was left. I cannot remember anything from that morning and I am atleast grateful for that, as the ptsd is bad enough as it is.
I woke up in the hospital.
Their was a kind nurse by my side and I asked her what happened (you see it in the movies and never think it could happen to you.). She said an officer had hit me. I asked a few questions and then asked her for a hug, deeply sorrowful, which she gave me happily. I was very drugged on fentanyl and whatever else and I don't remember anything else.
Over the course of the day I found out, between naps, that I had broken my right Radius, Ulnar, Wrist, Neck and left orbital, had a concussion, injury to my left Knee, groin, and upper right thigh as well as a sprained left wrist.
My face was covered in blood and glass because my full face helmets visor had broken exposing part of my face and allowing the orbital blowout and lacerations to my face. I was in a full neck brace and my left eye was blood red, not white. I had emergency surgery to reconstruct my arm that day. I remember my arm being set (the ulna pierced the skin) and unimaginable pain before blacking out. I nearly never awoke from surgery and it took 6 hours of the staff yelling my name and whatever else before I did.
8 days later after I had stabilized I was sent home with my parents with flexirol and 5mg oxycodone. I could barely move and was obviously in more pain than anyone should endure. A week later I collapsed at the dinner table and was rushed to the ER where a blood clot was discovered in my left lung. So after a course of xarelto and all the suffering associated with my injuries of which I could go into great detail and trauma a wrist surgery was determined to be necessary January 16th. It went well and so I kept going.
Then they finally got it through their thick heads after an MRI that something was wrong with my knee. Contrary to popular belief a knee is only made to bend one way, not three. And so began a redoubled horrible suffering after reconstructive knee surgery February 16th.
I was in newly fresh pain comparable only to 1 or 2 months after the accident and ended up going into shock from a daily attempt to use crutches as instructed when my leg got stuck under me and I screamed and went into shock as I was placed into bed by my parents. The ambulance came, I was admitted to the ER for pain management for one week.
During that time I had dilaudid every 2 hours IV and 5-15mg oxy every 3 hours. Now lemme tell you, I was very very strong mentally until knee surgery and the larger doses of oxy and oxycontin and dilaudid. I went weeks without it at a time until that hospitalization. At that point I slowly began to lose control due to the pain and mental trauma of the accident and time since. Fast forward to now and I am walking and can see properly with minimal nerve damage and am gradually restoring function to my right arm, wrist and hand.
I also am in pain every day that tylenol does little to nothing for. That has resulted in daily use of oxy from 5-30mg a day. I am also expecting delivery of 10 30mg oxys which are 3 times bigger than the 10s I have left. I am on antidepressants and I am suicidal, have bad anxiety, ptsd, mood swings and feel like I am dying from the inside out. I have come here because I don't know what to do and I am afraid of what I may do.
If you read all that here's a hug if you want it and thank you.
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