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I need Advice and a Role Model. HELP! Please :(

RecklessAtTiffanys

RecklessAtTiffanys

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2014
Messages
3
Location
Louisiana
Hey! :) So this is the first time I am ever posting to a website like this, but I was browsing the forums and a lot of you are very helpful! So I guess I'll start with a little background so you could have a better understanding of my situation. I am a 21 year old gal and accidentally got addicted to opiates! Completely serious, I did not MEAN to get addicted lol I guess it's something that you never think about when you first start using. That's the scary part of it, too. About a year ago, it started with someone giving me a Lortab (which I was even scared to take quite honestly lol) and I guess it all just went downhill from there. It was this same friend I had, gave me a lortab and I loved it because I just felt good all over and was even friendlier than I already am, and could drink my FACE off! Then he gave me a roxy. GOSH even more amazing feelings! Then morphine... which I wouldn't take for so long because the name is just scary... It's funny how things change. I actually was afraid to snort things, and if I did, I had to chug like a liter of Coke (which I am also addicted to now heh). Anyhow, all of that eventually led to me trying the big H. Now, the scary thing about that is that everyone makes you believe that the first time you try it, you are instantly addicted for the rest of your life. But, if anyone has ever tried it, you know that's not the case. For most people including myself, you don't shoot up the first time you try heroin. I snorted it, and I always have. And I wasn't addicted the first time I did it. I wasn't addicted the second time I did it, or even the third. So naturally I thought this was the best thing in the world. No comedowns, no side effects, I wasn't even craving it. But I actually stopped doing it. A lot of people in my city had been dying from chemicals dealers were cutting it with. So I started with Opana. Favorite drug. Ever. So now here I am. After a full calendar year of doing opiates, and loving every minute of it. And now I'm realizing that I can't go without it... I mean of course I CAN. But I don't want to. It makes me a better version of myself. And I'm doing very well at this point in my life when it comes to everything else but drugs. I'm in college, I have a good job, I have my own place, my own car, I take care of myself and do a pretty damn good job of it. This addiction is just WRECKING my bank account. My father passed away when I was 13 and when I turned 21 I got a windfall of money from the company he owned. Quite a pretty penny. And I didn't realize I was spending THOUSANDS of dollars a month on opiates. But I am and it's terrifying. So, if anyone had any advice or kind words that you think would help, I need something. I have stocked up on some subs for when I eventually try to DT, but I'm not sure how it effects your body and I'm just now learning that you could have WD from those, too. Any tips or tricks on how to make this less awful? Should I even DT completely? Or should I just ween myself down to just LT's? I have no idea!! :( I need a role model.
 
It's good that you want to quit before you get too far behind opiates are no joke. Your best bet it to take a deep breath.. there fell better now? After that it is also good you have subs, they can be a tool for you to use but they can be addictive as well. Have you ever experienced WDs? It sounds like you've got a fairly decent habit going and are going to get some when you stop. When you decide to quit here is my suggestion. I have done this several times now, which kind of shows you how hard the addiction is to break. Quit doing opiates. anywhere from 8-24 hours after you are going to start WDs. wait as long as you can at least 12 hours. Then take 2mgs of suboxone. An hour later take 2 more mgs. Keep doing this every hour until you feel a bit better it should take 2-4 hours. You won't be 100% the first day but you will get most the way there try not to take more than 8mgs a day if you can. If that works try taking 6mgs the next day the same way, 2mgs per hour over 3 hours. How much sub do you have, you should try to taper down to 4mgs per day then after that cut another 1mg every other day. I've tapered off suboxone in 4 days before.

The next step that I prefer is Loperamide. (there is a very good thread on it in this forum) Because suboxone is addictive I don't reccomend using it for very long. The day after you quit subs make sure it is a day you have nothing to do. Take 24mgs of Loperamide. The next day cut it to 16mgs. The day after 12. Then cut 2mgs every other day. If you are feeling sick still take 2 more mgs and start your count over from there. Loperamide is easy to jump from at low doses and easy to taper. After you are taking nothing you will still have a few days of feeling kinda meh, but it won't be WDs at all. This takes time but it is what I have found to be the easiest way and I am a total wuss when it comes to WDs.

The final step is making sure you eat right and exercise the whole time. Get as much sleep as you can. You need to take care of your body to help it heal. Thing will get better before you know it. Also distance yourself from people who still use. You WILL get cravings to use again, maybe for your whole life, but if you stay strong, stay busy and stay around the right people you will make it. There are some really good people here you will help if you need help or someone to talk to you can PM me and I will be happy to offer a helping hand. If you need help with the site try PMing the moderator Mr. Scagnatti. He knows what you are going through and seems like a pretty rightgeous dude. Stay strong you can do this!! And also welcome to Bluelight we are here for you!
 
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Thank you for the quick reply! That was pretty helpful. I have about 24 mg of subs. I'm just afraid because I've heard that you can also WD from those as well. As for any other prescription drugs, I have no idea where to get them from. I don't want to tell my doctor because she is very close with my family (who has no idea any of this is happening, pretty sure my mom doesn't even know I smoke weed) I'm getting the subs from the same guy I buy everything else from, which sucks because he's the only guy I know with subs and at times if he doesn't have any he will push other things on me, mainly H. No one really knows about my addiction except for him. I find the hardest part is the fact that if I don't have anything one day, it is ALL I think about. It is on my mind 24/7 if I'm not high. And it is MISERABLE. Do you have any experience with WD from subs? I've also been thinking about taking a whole week off of work to DT. Do you think this would be a good time frame? Or do you think that staying home would just make it worse? I've WD one other time and it was last year when things weren't so bad. I only WD for a couple days until I could find something else, but I was at work while I was WD and it was awful.
 
My advice is just use the 24mgs of sub you have. Lose contact with whoever you are getting your stuff from. Erase his number and change yours. Do the program like this. 12 - 16 hours after you last dose take 2mg sub, make sure you are getting sick if not wait a bit longer. After you take the first 2mg take 2 more mg every hour for 4 hours you should feel at least 80% better by then. The next day take 6mgs dosed the same way, that leaves you with 10mg left. Take 4 mgs dosed 2mgs at a time the next 2 days. Day 5 take your last 2 mg of sub. Read the Loperamide thread in other drugs while you do this. Loperamide is the active drug in Immodium it is over the counter medicine you can buy it at a store for a few bucks. The night after you take the last sub about 4 hours before bed start your Loperamide regimen like I outlined in my last post. The Loperamide taper may take up to 2 weeks. After that try going 2 days with out any drugs see how you feel. You will be not 100% but you won't be dying. You may have some insomnia. After you finish the Loperamide taper would be a god time to take 3 or 4 days off and have no drugs in your system to finish it off after that you will be good to go. Just follow my advice in the last post and take care of yourself!
 
After a full calendar year of doing opiates, and loving every minute of it. And now I'm realizing that I can't go without it... I mean of course I CAN. But I don't want to. It makes me a better version of myself.
Click to expand...

Who are you trying to convince with this? Opioids don't make you a "better person". People's actions and choices do that. If you choose to get dependent on opioids, to the point where you feel strange and shitty and are unable to work effectively when you stop, are you better off for that? Does spending a fuckload of money which was left to you (ostensibly not to piss it all away) on making yourself feel good inside for a little while seem like a good choice?

Yet you follow it up with this...

I find the hardest part is the fact that if I don't have anything one day, it is ALL I think about. It is on my mind 24/7 if I'm not high. And it is MISERABLE. Do you have any experience with WD from subs? I've also been thinking about taking a whole week off of work to DT. Do you think this would be a good time frame? Or do you think that staying home would just make it worse? I've WD one other time and it was last year when things weren't so bad. I only WD for a couple days until I could find something else, but I was at work while I was WD and it was awful.
Click to expand...

Quit while you're ahead, man. You can't keep hiding an addiction for very long, when people ask you where all your money has gone and you have nothing to show for it but track marks it makes people stop trusting you just that much more. If you're feeling like shit and fiending when you don't get your opioids, you have a problem, and you should act on it NOW, or the drugs will crush your soul and kick it down the street like they do to so many other people.

These drugs mess with your reward centres. Just keep that in mind and try to view it objectively. You haven't obviously "loved every minute of it". No career long-term opioid user does. There are almost always some days when they wake up sick or take too much or have to hide their use in a pinch or, well, any number of things nondrug users don't have to care about.

Now, onto the drugs!

The idea with Suboxone is to use it as a taper program - take progressively lower doses of opioids until you can quit with much less frustration and pain than if you had just gone cold turkey.

Withdrawal from suboxone is going to be like any other opioid. If you take huge doses, (>8mg) for any continuous length of time, you're going to feel like shit when you stop, because you're taking a pretty powerful opioid drug. Hence the dose reduction comes into play, usually over the scale of months. The idea is to reduce your dose to like, 0.2mg or something like that. You don't use any other opioids during this time and it can take some willpower but it is less painful than straight up withdrawl from many of the longer lasting opioid drugs. Sometimes people also use them as rapid taper assistance, as bluephoenix said. Take some dose that holds you off on the first day, reduce your dose 30-50% every day.

Realistically... if you are using Opana (oxymorphone) on the regular, you're kind of lucky, because short-acting drugs generally mean the withdrawals are short. Hydromorphone, oxymorphone, and fentanyl are both potent opioids that don't last terribly long in the body, so your opioid receptors change state a little quicker than if you were on a long lasting drug like methadone. Suboxone is a long-lasting drug, so switching to it may be counterproductive... the acute WD from Opana is not longer than 3-5 days, the acute WD from suboxone is longer, so taking it might just make your WD much longer than it has to be.

Step one is to commit to not taking opioids any more. Delete your dealer's number. Block it. Get a new phone if you have to. Lose all contact with any friends who use opioids. Get them out of your life or you will fall back into bad habits, statistically speaking.
Step two, get rid of all the opioids in your possession. There is no point in tapering if you want to get it over with quickly. It's a leading cause of relapses, people feel like shit and want a quick escape, and then they slip back into comfortable old habits. Throw out or give away all "emergency supplies", all paraphernalia, etc, as well.
Step three, take some time off work. Buckle the fuck up.
Step four, preferably, go spend time in places that you haven't used drugs. Try your best to do as much physical activity as you can, to encourage your endorphins to start working again. Use cannabis, dimenhydrinate (Gravol), small doses of caffeine from tea or coffee, etc as needed to counter some of the side effects.
Step five, as soon as you start feeling better, take up some other habit to replace the time you spent doing dope all day. If you stop doing drugs and leave a giant vacuum in your life, chances are you will fill that right back up with drugs again.
 
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^ I second the not being able to hide addiction. I tried and failed miserably. I had a job and so did my fiancé, she was a server And would bring home well over $100 a day but we had not a fucking thing to show for it. Eventually ppl will catch on and for some that's when shit hits the fan. And yeah quit will your ahead, the pills ain't worth it.
 
Welcome to BL Reckless! Yeah a lot of us here have very similar stories. This site is great for the support & info you are looking for. My advice would be to keep your use as low as possible for now & just read everything you can find about kicking opiates on here. Also ask questions to members & mods. Most everyone here will be more than willing to help you sort the fact from fiction about kicking opis. It's a very tough thing to do but you sound like your actually ready to quit & that's the most important thing. You can never get clean unless you truly want to. Good luck on quitting & feel free to PM me if you have any questions or need advice. I'm unfortunately a veteran of the opiate game, so there isn't much I don't know about the ins & outs of this addiction.
 
Everyone's seemed to covered the preferred method here. When I got clean, a quick taper on subs is what I did. Had been using heroin for about 3 years and did a fast taper, using 8mg on day 1, 4mg on day 2, 2 on day 3 and I think I just sucked it up and dealt with whatever symptoms I felt after that. If you have some opana left, maybe you want to do a fast taper on that before you go to the subs, then you can try to use smaller doses of suboxone to start. Because I don't know about you, but the thought of flushing or throwing away perfectly good drugs makes my inner penny pincher cry endlessly. That and tapering really helps make withdrawal symptoms more bearable. When I say taper, I mean by like day 2-3, you want to use as little as possible to keep w/d symptoms at bay.

Of course, the taper is the easier part. The hard part is filling all that empty space in your life left by not having to find and buy drugs every day. Best thing for me was finding ways to occupy my mind. Find a job, work as much as you can, find a hobby, non drug using friends(or in my case, friends that just smoke pot, lol), try to whatever you can to distance yourself from that lifestyle.

And like the poster above me said, don't keep anything in, it won't help. BL is great, everyone here is very supportive and willing to talk or answer any questions you might have. If you feel like you're struggling, post a thread, send someone a PM. You'd be surprised how much it helps to put it all into words.
 
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