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I miss my bf

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Space__Kitten

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2013
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166
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Nunya :3
We've been living together almost 2 years now. We had met online and he moved up here to be with me.

Last week his dad passed away so he had to fly down to the funeral. So he's been in TX for the past half a week. Part of me is so scared hell never return. It's seems so stupid to be scared, were engaged now and we love each other so much.

He was supposed to be gone 2 weeks max. He told me today now there's legal stuff going on and it will be longer 3 weeks to a month. I'm worried hell keep pushing it longer and never return. Please don't call me stupid or immature. I'm 26 and this is the first time I ever think I REALLY felt love. First time now I've ever had to stay in our apartment alone. We haven't gotten to talk much sense he left.

I just feel like this constant low level anxiety sense he been gone. I'm not sure how to sleep right. I do know in my heart hell be back.

I've been trying to keep busy, girl stuff hair nails tanning shopping. Is there any other ways people know to just help me get rid of the anxiety I feel its making me so lazy and stressed.

I drank a few nights to help sleep but just felt hung over like crap the next day. Did dxm once but my tollerance is so high all it did was get me sick. I don't particularly like weed but I think I just might head to the neighbors and get some, they usually have weed and vicoden. I'd rather stay away from that though (vicoden), maybe a more natural solution, I had a valerian tea that was good for sleep once but its hard to find good valerian that isn't bullshit. Maybe even regular tea. I plan on exercising, that helped yesterday just get my extra energy out.

I'm just stressed. Like what if one month becomes 3 then 6...then who knows. All this makes me just hurt inside. I know he has stuff he needs to get done, but it still feels rough and stuff. :/
 
You poor thing. Relax. The first thing that you need to do is call him and tell him how much you miss him. I'm sure that he'd appreciate it. He'll reassure you and you'll float around on cloud 9 for a couple of days
 
Take it easy, just keep in contact with him and tell him you miss him. Is there really no way you can visit him there for a few days? I am currently in a long distance relationship and we speak to each other every single day more than 3 times :) will your fiance be okay with constant communication?
 
Yeah I usually do better when I get off the phone and we just relax and I hear how much he misses me. He's staying with his brother, and his brother grabbed the phone and was joking around like "why you have to mess up my brothers head for, he's always "megan this" and "megan that" so knowing he is thinking about me helps so much. I wish I could visit, I work too much, had the same job for 9 years but also don't make the kind of money to afford to get down there and back. So ill haveta wait it.

Well probably talk tonight, but he's been so exhausted with everything down there, the phone calls usually only last around 5 min twice a day. I miss him. Im feeling a little better than I did earlier, been keeping busy.
 
I'm no expert, heaven knows I'm not experienced in this field, but I'd just like to mention that your level of worry sounds fairly unhealthy here. Even if you're engaged, you're not going to always be able to be attached at the hip, and the fact is that it's never healthy to rely on your significant other to the point in which you're freaking out if he's gone for any significant period of time. I mean, don't you have any other friends, anyone else you can spend time with rather than just sitting around in your apartment alone twiddling your thumbs until he walks through the door? That's really bad if not. See, the problem is that, as a male, I can tell you for a fact that it's not terribly attractive when a girl is basically entirely dependent on you, and when you're gone she just sits around waiting until you get back like a lost puppy. That really drains your respect, and unfortunately, no matter who it is or how loyal they are, if you know you can take advantage of someone over time it becomes harder and harder not to. You push and push, deep down hoping that eventually they'll push back. Let me ask this; if he came back and told you, say, he'd gotten drunk with his brother and cheated on you, what would you do? Would you be in a position to do anything about it, or would he know full well you'd be too attached and you'd just take it?

I say all this because this sounds so very much like my brother and his old girlfriend, who was the same sort in that she always felt she had to be around him ALL THE TIME and would experience significant anxiety if he ever wasn't around, afraid he'd wind up leaving her or something. She sounded almost exactly like you, even down to the way she wrote. Well, eventually he did leave her, but he did so specifically for that reason, because she was so dependent and so smothering he felt he couldn't hold any level of respect for her. I'm wondering if, like in her case, you don't suffer from a fair degree of self esteem issues? This is an appropriate issue for a site like this, because, as with drugs, nothing is constant, and if you depend on something outside yourself to get by you'll be in a sore state when that thing inevitably stops being there. The only thing you can ever truly count on always being there in the world is yourself. Therefore, while the others have provided good advice, at the same time I'd really examine your relationship and why it is that you feel so very lost when he isn't around, because I can almost, no, I can definitely guarantee that if you continue to depend that heavily on your boyfriend to get by, eventually it's going to come back to bite you.
 
Why don't you go see him, for a day or 2. Maybe he needs you more then u need him. he needs your support.
If you do go don't be a naggy and u don't love me blah blah. It's not about you. It's about his farthers passing. Show him ur supporting him and ur waiting for him
 
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