But,
- I've managed to taper down to 15mls of methadone (with pharmacist, not seeing doc till jan),
- I am also off the insane amount of conflicting medication.. (SNRIs, betablockers, antibiotics, steroids for chest infections, benzos, etc).
Last night I smoked some THC, and had 2 pregabs, and guess what?
-My chronic pain in legs is fucking gone! (Genetic muscular problem. My dad loves thc for the same reason!)
- I can walk without pain! Yay!! :D
- Physical stress symptoms from the ANS have calmed down, I feel in control! The immense stress, weird horrible intrusive ptsd flashbacks + my inability to deal with it, have goneeeee. :D
-I'm not drug fiending for it, or anything else. I'm till clean from h + c.
Only down side is: I feel a bit wobbly (from just 2!) pregabs- wtf haha?!- but i don't care- there's no more physical or mental stress, NO impending doom feeling when I woke up! Holy shit!! :O :D
(Now I've tapered down to 2mg of benzos, I might casually mention the benefits of restarting my pregab script . I really think they'll help me get out the last 2mg of diazepam)
-Time to research pregabs to hell (and hopefully to get over my phobia of getting bells palsy from it again. )
-Try and get strong enough/ make mine up about reporting domestic abusive shit to the police. (Scared of him hurting my family, coming after me again). Meh- what do I do?
I want him to NEVER hurt another person (he literally would try and fight ANY man in the street, just for looking at him the wrong way.
) (With women, he puts on this fake charm, gets them to trust him, then ruins everything they have- money, ability to speak to friends and family, any possessions (he broke my guitar, phone, guitar). He isolates women, the does whatever he wants to them (such as taking out his anger on them). He makes death threats on family for speaking/ trying to get out. ugh.. (probs why I can't trust and struggle to speak).
Meh, the police want me to do a video statement, for court. It won't go in the news, will it? :/ I'm scared he will come for my family.
-Really, really need to get over stupid fear/ hatred of shopping in town, so I get presents. Wish I just ordered them all online, doh.
- I've managed to taper down to 15mls of methadone (with pharmacist, not seeing doc till jan),
- I am also off the insane amount of conflicting medication.. (SNRIs, betablockers, antibiotics, steroids for chest infections, benzos, etc).
Last night I smoked some THC, and had 2 pregabs, and guess what?
-My chronic pain in legs is fucking gone! (Genetic muscular problem. My dad loves thc for the same reason!)
- I can walk without pain! Yay!! :D
- Physical stress symptoms from the ANS have calmed down, I feel in control! The immense stress, weird horrible intrusive ptsd flashbacks + my inability to deal with it, have goneeeee. :D
-I'm not drug fiending for it, or anything else. I'm till clean from h + c.
Only down side is: I feel a bit wobbly (from just 2!) pregabs- wtf haha?!- but i don't care- there's no more physical or mental stress, NO impending doom feeling when I woke up! Holy shit!! :O :D
(Now I've tapered down to 2mg of benzos, I might casually mention the benefits of restarting my pregab script . I really think they'll help me get out the last 2mg of diazepam)
-Time to research pregabs to hell (and hopefully to get over my phobia of getting bells palsy from it again. )
-Try and get strong enough/ make mine up about reporting domestic abusive shit to the police. (Scared of him hurting my family, coming after me again). Meh- what do I do?
I want him to NEVER hurt another person (he literally would try and fight ANY man in the street, just for looking at him the wrong way.
) (With women, he puts on this fake charm, gets them to trust him, then ruins everything they have- money, ability to speak to friends and family, any possessions (he broke my guitar, phone, guitar). He isolates women, the does whatever he wants to them (such as taking out his anger on them). He makes death threats on family for speaking/ trying to get out. ugh.. (probs why I can't trust and struggle to speak).Meh, the police want me to do a video statement, for court. It won't go in the news, will it? :/ I'm scared he will come for my family.
-Really, really need to get over stupid fear/ hatred of shopping in town, so I get presents. Wish I just ordered them all online, doh.