Cloud9please
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2013
- Messages
- 6
Ok so. Heres the background.
Ex-boyfriend, Lifelong life-of-the-party. Hit wall of IV use and opiates for 4 years, now just stuck on the stick.
Ex-girlfriend, the damn girl hustled my mother for my hydroxyzine behind my back. Enough said. (not iv user)
Ex-girlfriend is 21 and had very very bad parents/parenting growing up and was found to be living in a tent out back of where she worked. Three days later ex-girlfriends rabbit, (he had bought her six months prior during breakup to "fill void") very very mysteriously died and she was clearly on her way to another attempt on her life. Ex-boyfriend told ex-girlfriend it ain't happening anymore and she ain't livin' like that, and ex-boyfriend packed tent up, and brought her home. then got ex-girlfriend into Department of Social Services which put her up in a motel after a week.
Ex-boyfriend's life was just going great, had raise and transfer request accepted at job, moving to another city, and...... suddenly got very very sick and has had many problems with parasites and bacterial infections since.
9 hospital visits, 3 mental breakdowns, two primary care doctors, and a partridge in a pare tree.
all Diagnosed me with rash, scabies, MRSA/staph, unknown bugbites (for the same sores/scratches), and about 5 other diagnosis's saying its psychological, and put on doxycycline. 10 doctors, 1 actually helped, the rest treated me like a drug addict and told me my brother who gives me my sub is poisoning me, I'm doing this to myself, If I went to this many hospitals I'm apparently just seeking reaallly expensive non-insured attention and the other doctors must have done their job, oh and "this is an emergency room, for people with emergencies."
I know I had, Lice so bad my hair and nose was laced. scabies, ticks on me, covered in black scab looking spots, bed bugs, flea's, two types of intestinal helminths (nice way of putting $#@$ing worms), nasal parasites, blurry/loss of vision, lethargy, dehydration/rapid weight loss, anemia/iron def., loss of coordination/motor skills, loss use of leg the day after I had gone to the hospital because there was something in the vascular system of my leg that would travel towards my groin in dark purple blobs unless I stood up. That mystery had finally settled in dark purple rings stacked like legos up my shin that, my assumption, is after whatever it was settled and they got my bloodpressure to drop, it had cut off my circulation in my leg. I say this because it turned purple, cold, and tingly with stabbing pains after a few hours, reminding me what being a nice person gets you, all white cellulitius is painting my body a nice shade of white and red from feet to shoulders like one big crop-circle-maze.
Now I'm still trying to find a doctor thats not a scumbag and take the time to actually help me instead of saying my suboxone is causing all my issues, or the crank i did twice during all of this because I have been terrified to go to sleep considering every time I wake up things get much much worse.
So. Out of all of that, Now my doctor told me she was "worried I might have something "in there"." referring to my sweet spot in which I IV my drugs. Well this spot has been looking awefully enlarged and also had these same lesions/scratch mark looking thing on it with the skin localized around it numbed out like the rest of my "mysterious scratches" had been. These idiots all said I caused them, but when I scrape off this scab looking thing-scratch that looks like a tiny scabbed dotted line, it ends up being an even more mysterious burrow looking tunnel/incision that doesn't bleed, but is like a deep valley right where this dotted-line-type-scratch had been. They leave nasty, nasty scars. like a deep cut. I'll have one or two, or ill have a cluster of them mainly on my arms. they clearly look like someone must have meticulously placed them there if it was self-inflicted and if you're really desperate you can say i got scratched by a kitten with tiny paws. Minus the whole owning a cat thing. I would say rabbit, but it died a month ago, I have these on me now.
Well a few hours ago I felt something hard inside my "sweet spot" and in the psychologically cooked state that i am in currently, decided what the f***, let me squeeze one end of it and see if this is something in my arm or just scar tissue...... Then s#*! got real. That f$&#er slowly pushed its way into a compressed lump, so in complete shock while telling myself I'm just over thinking it. I did it again.... same thing, so then I went the other direction... now it actually moved like old travel-sized toothpaste in a tube. So I walked away telling myself I'm completely insane and just forgot about it. Realized I stopped what I was doing to begin with, and went back fifteen minutes later. well. it was gone, no longer swollen and huge or nothin'. (wtf?) so I then noticed my arm further up looked different. Well there that f**ker was again. a huge oblong lump about 2 inches up from where it was originally, only this time when I squeeze the end of it, I can feel it make its way back the direction it came, much easier and faster.
now my question for you today is. what the F$#$ could this be. Does scar tissue move?, what could possibly move like that. It's not moving upon its own, I'm sure if it was anything, its dead as **** now after being stabbed as many times as it has. But its about as big around as a #2 pencil and an inch long. soft, yet structurally hard and one complete object. I have been noticing myself dropping things lately and been telling the doctors that as a symptom. But I'm realizing its only my right hand thats dropping things, and my right arm is a few shades pale'er, colder, and weaker than my left since messing with it. I am dominantly right handed.
I have been to so many doctors I'm honestly more afraid of being barraged by precisely worded insults and antagonizingly condescending tone's of their voices. You know, That indirect bullshit so you cant cost them their job or have a strong reason to report them as they can chalk it up to poor communication.
and if any of you have ever heard of some kind of bug/parasite that leaves those scratches please let me know. The scabs that are covering up literal holes are normally a waterdroplet big, black, and happen in a line with white stuff coming out of the fresh ones.
things are getting really hopeless and I already found out what its like to be without a leg for a day. I probably spent an hour just on trying to find a way to move it even if It was in my head. not even jumping out of the truck worked. Failed miserably on my face actually.
Ex-boyfriend, Lifelong life-of-the-party. Hit wall of IV use and opiates for 4 years, now just stuck on the stick.
Ex-girlfriend, the damn girl hustled my mother for my hydroxyzine behind my back. Enough said. (not iv user)
Ex-girlfriend is 21 and had very very bad parents/parenting growing up and was found to be living in a tent out back of where she worked. Three days later ex-girlfriends rabbit, (he had bought her six months prior during breakup to "fill void") very very mysteriously died and she was clearly on her way to another attempt on her life. Ex-boyfriend told ex-girlfriend it ain't happening anymore and she ain't livin' like that, and ex-boyfriend packed tent up, and brought her home. then got ex-girlfriend into Department of Social Services which put her up in a motel after a week.
Ex-boyfriend's life was just going great, had raise and transfer request accepted at job, moving to another city, and...... suddenly got very very sick and has had many problems with parasites and bacterial infections since.
9 hospital visits, 3 mental breakdowns, two primary care doctors, and a partridge in a pare tree.
all Diagnosed me with rash, scabies, MRSA/staph, unknown bugbites (for the same sores/scratches), and about 5 other diagnosis's saying its psychological, and put on doxycycline. 10 doctors, 1 actually helped, the rest treated me like a drug addict and told me my brother who gives me my sub is poisoning me, I'm doing this to myself, If I went to this many hospitals I'm apparently just seeking reaallly expensive non-insured attention and the other doctors must have done their job, oh and "this is an emergency room, for people with emergencies."
I know I had, Lice so bad my hair and nose was laced. scabies, ticks on me, covered in black scab looking spots, bed bugs, flea's, two types of intestinal helminths (nice way of putting $#@$ing worms), nasal parasites, blurry/loss of vision, lethargy, dehydration/rapid weight loss, anemia/iron def., loss of coordination/motor skills, loss use of leg the day after I had gone to the hospital because there was something in the vascular system of my leg that would travel towards my groin in dark purple blobs unless I stood up. That mystery had finally settled in dark purple rings stacked like legos up my shin that, my assumption, is after whatever it was settled and they got my bloodpressure to drop, it had cut off my circulation in my leg. I say this because it turned purple, cold, and tingly with stabbing pains after a few hours, reminding me what being a nice person gets you, all white cellulitius is painting my body a nice shade of white and red from feet to shoulders like one big crop-circle-maze.
Now I'm still trying to find a doctor thats not a scumbag and take the time to actually help me instead of saying my suboxone is causing all my issues, or the crank i did twice during all of this because I have been terrified to go to sleep considering every time I wake up things get much much worse.
So. Out of all of that, Now my doctor told me she was "worried I might have something "in there"." referring to my sweet spot in which I IV my drugs. Well this spot has been looking awefully enlarged and also had these same lesions/scratch mark looking thing on it with the skin localized around it numbed out like the rest of my "mysterious scratches" had been. These idiots all said I caused them, but when I scrape off this scab looking thing-scratch that looks like a tiny scabbed dotted line, it ends up being an even more mysterious burrow looking tunnel/incision that doesn't bleed, but is like a deep valley right where this dotted-line-type-scratch had been. They leave nasty, nasty scars. like a deep cut. I'll have one or two, or ill have a cluster of them mainly on my arms. they clearly look like someone must have meticulously placed them there if it was self-inflicted and if you're really desperate you can say i got scratched by a kitten with tiny paws. Minus the whole owning a cat thing. I would say rabbit, but it died a month ago, I have these on me now.
Well a few hours ago I felt something hard inside my "sweet spot" and in the psychologically cooked state that i am in currently, decided what the f***, let me squeeze one end of it and see if this is something in my arm or just scar tissue...... Then s#*! got real. That f$&#er slowly pushed its way into a compressed lump, so in complete shock while telling myself I'm just over thinking it. I did it again.... same thing, so then I went the other direction... now it actually moved like old travel-sized toothpaste in a tube. So I walked away telling myself I'm completely insane and just forgot about it. Realized I stopped what I was doing to begin with, and went back fifteen minutes later. well. it was gone, no longer swollen and huge or nothin'. (wtf?) so I then noticed my arm further up looked different. Well there that f**ker was again. a huge oblong lump about 2 inches up from where it was originally, only this time when I squeeze the end of it, I can feel it make its way back the direction it came, much easier and faster.
now my question for you today is. what the F$#$ could this be. Does scar tissue move?, what could possibly move like that. It's not moving upon its own, I'm sure if it was anything, its dead as **** now after being stabbed as many times as it has. But its about as big around as a #2 pencil and an inch long. soft, yet structurally hard and one complete object. I have been noticing myself dropping things lately and been telling the doctors that as a symptom. But I'm realizing its only my right hand thats dropping things, and my right arm is a few shades pale'er, colder, and weaker than my left since messing with it. I am dominantly right handed.
I have been to so many doctors I'm honestly more afraid of being barraged by precisely worded insults and antagonizingly condescending tone's of their voices. You know, That indirect bullshit so you cant cost them their job or have a strong reason to report them as they can chalk it up to poor communication.
and if any of you have ever heard of some kind of bug/parasite that leaves those scratches please let me know. The scabs that are covering up literal holes are normally a waterdroplet big, black, and happen in a line with white stuff coming out of the fresh ones.
things are getting really hopeless and I already found out what its like to be without a leg for a day. I probably spent an hour just on trying to find a way to move it even if It was in my head. not even jumping out of the truck worked. Failed miserably on my face actually.
