I just don't know what to do

[fallingup]

Guys I am really at a loss here and I would love some advice. Apologize in advance for the length of the post. I have been having anxiety, panic (including a couple panic attacks but generally just a constant, low level of panic) and also a pretty heavy bit of depression/apathy this past week. All of this has had a pretty sudden onset and I just want help getting it to go away. I have had panic attacks in the past, and definitely have felt sick and dizzy due to stress before - but those symptoms haven't manifested in literally a year. I have had some stressful and sad moments in the year between then and now, but nothing compared to the feelings I've had this past week. Also, in the past, my panic and anxiety had a clear, obvious, and immediate cause - this week, on the other hand, there's seemingly been no trigger or reason for me feeling this panic, anxiety, and depression. Today, for example, I didn't do much of anything at all except sit around the house - changing into some real clothes instead of pajamas was one of my biggest accomplishments of the day. Other than that I just spent the whole day sitting on my computer or texting on my phone - cooked dinner for myself and my family. Yet, despite having a totally low key and relaxed day, I have been depressed and apathetic ALL day long and just now I had a brief feeling of "whoa - separation from myself" while cooking dinner and thinking about my emotions - I've never experienced depersonalization before but I guess that's the term for that sensation.

So then what precipitated this new mental unease? I am pretty much 100% certain that it's a drug I took last weekend, combined with the stress currently going on in my life ( I have a very big exam coming up in a little over a month, and I've been working 60 hours a week since like October). As for the drug that brought all of this stress out in such a physical, raw way - I have no idea what it was but it was a stimulant. I could go on and describe the substance but this isn't a drug ID thread and honestly at this point does it really matter what it was? Point is, I took some last Friday night and felt great, took some more on Saturday afternoon, seemed happy and high for 3 hours, and then started having chest pains, panic, dizziness, extreme anxiety, and some auditory hallucinations. I got myself home Saturday night, popped a couple diphenhydramine pills, and forced myself to sleep. Made it through the next couple days seemingly OK and recovered, if a bit physically and emotionally drained. Then I had a full blown serious and very scary panic attack Tuesday night. Since Tuesday I have been stressed, irritable, and worried about my mental state - had a couple moments of panic that didn't become a full blown attack. All week at work I sort of dragged and had no motivation to do anything - I didn't make it work on time a single day this week for example. It was enough of an accomplishment to get out of bed by 830am every day!

Anyway my reason for starting this thread is to ask if anyone else has experienced this kind of ongoing issue after using a sketchy substance, and more importantly if they have been able to overcome this issue. I just need to be reassured that these feelings will go away. I've never been the type of person to randomly exhibit psychological symptoms with no trigger. Sure I have stress but I've never just had panic attacks unless I've gone and watched a frightening movie and sat in my dark bedroom thinking about serial killers or something. In other words, random psychological symptoms are ALWAYS precipitated by a sudden event or trigger in my experience - this week it's all just been totally random, unpredictable, and most frustratingly - uncontrollable. I have no idea what this is and I hate that so much!!!

I have already gone to see my doctor regarding the panic attacks - if I am not completely better in a week's time I am going to try to get on some medications - she recommended them. I had an issue abusing benzos about 4 years ago (never got to the point of physical dependence but I was using them recreationally to a point that was severely interfering with my life and productivity) so that was the only reason I didn't immediately take up her offer of Xanax or Ativan. I also refused them because I am harboring some hope that in a week I will just go back to normal and be okay. I am terrified that that won't be the case and that I've somehow fucked myself up. Please reassure me

 

[EEhouseEE]

bro you just need to realize that having panic attack and anxiety is acompletely normalthing, whether its severe or not. I used to have crazy anxiety issue and did a bunhc of drugs, then sunddenly it started to go away. Just know that nothing lasts forever. Learn to see that nothing is actually happening and its pretty much your mind. Sloswly it will go away and you will be fine, there is no real danger, dont worry trust me.

 

[herbavore]

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/621291-Panic-Attacklies on this thread. I would try whatever you can before the benzos since you had a problem in the past. Also, getting some real (non-drug) tools to use in case this happens again in the future will be beneficial. I really think that they will subside once things in your life aren't so stressful but that doesn't mean they won't come back at another stressful time later in life. Good luck with everything, including the exam.

 

[RedLeader]

The 'I don't know what I took, but it's having a negative impact X days later and I'm worried that it's just going to get worse' effect can be traumatic on its own. I think with regard to that it's best to just tell yourself that if whatever it was were to kill you, it would have happened already, and that you're probably through the worst of it by now. You don't get a lot of slow-acting poisons in the drug scene, and your guess that it's some type of stimulant that probably rattled your systems a bit is probably right. If you haven't been eating or sleeping, your sensitivity to the effects will be higher.