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I hold a grudge against my parents. Anyone else ?

lars90

lars90

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Joined
Feb 11, 2012
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Germany/USA
So I came home today with a feeling of not wanting to go inside not wanting to talk to my parents. I have 2 brother I'm the middle one I can understand why I hold a grudge against the bigger one he use to beat me up allot an be mean to me. But I don't get why I have these feeling towards my parents. I did an extra loop before going to my house just not to be home so early.

Anyone else out there? And why ?
 
assuming they've done nothing wrong physically to you, I think it's pretty natural to hold resentment towards them during your teenage years and on into your twenties. You begin to realize all the errors they made in raising you, how they could have done things better, or perhaps they didn't show you enough understanding or emotion at the times you needed it. Or maybe they won't let you have girls over without the door being open haha.

Eventually you realize they did the best job they could with what they had, and that life is fucking tough as it is.. try raising a child at the same time. Haha! So not ready for that. But then, who is?
 
wow thanks that acutally really helped. I guess im just angry because they made so many mistakes
 
yeh their parents did the same to them and they didn't know any better so you can't really put any blame on them. once you have moved out of home and have some space, you will start to be able to view them with a bit more clarity and less clouded by resentment and anger etc.

if your 18 i think everyone should try move out of home asap, most people learn who they are by moving out of their parents houses.
 
I second all of the above. I'm 29, about to be 30 in a couple of months, and when I get drunk I still rage(verbally) on my mom for no reason. I usually don't feel angry like that.

I thought that I had gotten out any sort of anger towards my parents, but some of it is a bit residual.

It's because of this, and making me feel like a person that I am not, that I'm trying to stop drinking alcohol. I realize little of this had to with OP's post, but it might have more to do with it than you think.

You may occasionally feel resentful towards your parents and that's okay, it's just how this thing goes. My recommendation is just try to be a good son or daughter.
 
how old are you? at a certain age you get pissed off and wanna go do your own thing then later it dissipates
 
How old are you?
I have found that many people don't actually like/respect their parents until they move out. That's how it was for me. I moved out to go to university and then I got along with my parents. Most people who I know were like that as well.

I mean, for your whole life, your parents are telling you what to do, they are in control, they get you in trouble, etc. You move out and they don't have the same control.

Once you're more mature, you've gotta learn to respect your parents. When you treat them with respect, they will treat you with respect, and it'll be easier to live with them. It's a lot easier said than done though as there are often disagreements anyway.
 
Most kids resent their olds. It's a natural mechanism for getting them out of the house. Once they leave home they start to appreciate the parents again. It's just nature.
 
At 18 you're at the place where you want to be your own person, have your own thoughts and have had enough of the parental control but are stilling learning about life. You're still in their house so you are stuck to following their rules and being "parented". My kid thought I was an idiot, I always told him, "move out while you still know everything" :) He found out dad wasnt so stupid after all :)
You just need to get out on your own and be your own man, thats all, you've had enough parenting :) When you're about 30 you'll start to like them again lol
 
I hate my parents more than anything on earth.
Im 42
They never should have had kids.
assholes.
goddamn right I hold a fucking grudge

They toss me out at 15 for drinking, move to FLorida without telling me where, never see my kids and frankly suck ass.
Their whole family hates them and they don't bother coming back for funerals. Even of their own parents.
 
Not so much a grudge..

I think as a child my trust with my mother was shattered because whenever i confided in her she would then tell her siblings or friends; i would later find out through a third party about something i confided in her.. she has continued to do this throughout my life not with ill intention it's just her personality; but because of this i don't involve her in my life too much.. I think this has also translated to my relationships with women, i never completely trust the person im involved with and never completely reveal myself.. out of fear it will be used against me.. my father worked away a lot when i was younger, so i never developed a strong connection with him.. my parents are still together though after 30 years of marriage so i guess it counts for something.

I lived abroad for two years on my own and spoke with them maybe 5-6 times in this period.. this is not to be confused with spite, whenever i talked with them i was always very open and it was a long conversation but i'm not attached to them so there's no strong desire to keep in contact regularly..

Im not close with them, but i respect them and appreciate the life they provided for me.
 
Last edited:
JackiePeyton said:
I hate my parents more than anything on earth.
Im 42
They never should have had kids.
assholes.
goddamn right I hold a fucking grudge

They toss me out at 15 for drinking, move to FLorida without telling me where, never see my kids and frankly suck ass.
Their whole family hates them and they don't bother coming back for funerals. Even of their own parents.
Click to expand...
sounds like my parents. Except i never even drank. They kicked me out for a few weeks because I had chicken pox, and my mother was afraid she would get shingles. I moved out on my own after that and disowned them cutting off all contact.

Instead of being role models or father/mother figures, they are examples of what not to do in life.
 
Understand none of us are perfect. Just be the best parent that you can for your children! Even when you baby's become teenagers. I am 42 now and used to resent my parents for a lot of things. They have booth passed already and I am finally starting to understand them a little. They were brought up in a different time than us.
 
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