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TDS I Held a Dying Girl in My Arms Tonight...

Druidus

Druidus

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
Messages
598
I had four friends over tonight. I thought we were all over the age of majority, but my close friends girlfriend was sixteen. She had tried to commit suicide before, and was generally kind of emotionally unstable.

We were all drinking, including the minor. She even hid pint bottles of vodka in her purse.

It seems that she was depressed and in a bad state because of arguments with her boyfriend. She kept staying in the kitchen with the lights off whenever they argued, for some reason laying on the floor.

After the last argument, her boyfriend left the kitchen to go to sleep on the couch. She stayed in the kitchen, silent.

After ten minutes without hearing from her, I went into the kitchen to check. She was covered in vomit and breathing erratically and with difficulty. I knew she had tried to kill herself again. I couldn't find my xanax prescription, and I concluded that she stole it to aid her suicide. She also overdosed on Zoloft and Motrin, perhaps other things we're not aware of. i had to call 911, and they came to take her, after I was forced to drag her to a safer place and keep trying to resuscitate her.

The cops came, and treated us like shit.

Now she's at the hospital, and hopefully she'll be ok.

But she stole my prescription for xanax, which I'd received a mere two days ago. She gave some to her boyfriend, as well, though he didn't know they were mine (that's why he was asleep on the couch). The cops saw him sedated heavily on the couch, and made some snide comments about it.

Now I'm in a quandary. I'm pretty sure when she's capable of talking again, she'll say that I gave the xanax to her, when she really stole 112 0.5mg xanax pills. I am dependent on them. Now I have to call them in as stolen (hopefully not getting the girl in trouble), and I'm terrified they won't understand.

You see, the bottle of my xanax wasn't found on her or in her purse, and I don't think she took them all, meaning her blood test will show a relatively low level of alprazolam. Unfortunately, that supports the idea that I gave them to her.

Also, she was drinking in my apartment, though I didn't ever see her do it (I think she did it mainly when in the kitchen). Now I might be liable for that, despite being completely unaware of both her age and her heavy consumption.

I don't know what to do, now. I'm afraid of charges against me, not getting a refill on my stolen meds, and related possibilities. I'm terrified.

In addition, this girl is connected to a major family in the drug scene, and they are not afraid to hurt me and/or her boyfriend. If she says I gave her the pills, I worry they will just accept this. It doesn't help that the cops don't really like me.

FUCK! I can't think of a way to fix/explain things!

:(
 
Good on you for calling the cops and getting her to a hospital. When I read your title I thought she had already died so no matter what you can feel good that you undoubtedly saved her life. Try to stay calm and not "borrow trouble" by worrying too much about what will happen in the future. Everything is unknown now so try to simply focus on what you actually know as it unfolds.

What do you mean by a major family in the drug scene? Hopefully she will admit to taking the pills from you but even if she doesn't it becomes your word against hers. I'm sure that it would be good to talk to a lawyer.

Try not to stress too much and stay calm.
 
In situations like this it is always best to put the energy your putting into worrying, into problem solving instead. You did the right thing, and if you just tell the truth hopefully it will prevail. Luckily you have at least one other friend who can back you up, aside from the girl and her bf.

I am sorry this has happened to you, and I wish you nothing but luck. When people do the right thing, the right then usually happens to them.
 
Hey buddy, just calm down first of all. I know situations like this are pretty scary especially if you've never dealt with them in the past. Regardless of what she "says" ultimately it comes down to the evidence. The facts. The facts in this case are as follow (from what I understand):

1) You are legally prescribed xanax
2) Your bottle of xanax is missing (presumed stolen)
3) She was highly intoxicated

Does this sound right?

I'm a deputy sheriff, and I've had a lot of experience in similar cases.

Can I ask sir, what makes you think she didn't take all of them? Or that her boyfriend wasn't in on it as well, and hid them somewhere during the chaos before emergency responders arrived?

Basically its like this, it's your word against hers. I'm assuming she arrived at your residence with her boyfriend, is this correct? Specifically in that instance, it is near impossible to pin anything on you relating to the alcohol or drugs for that matter.

Regardless of what she says, there's no proof she obtained the drugs from you voluntarily. There's no proof you furnished alcohol either.

Now the good part...

You handled this situation like a pro. Truly. Not only did you likely save that girl's life, you've pretty well covered your own ass in regard to criminal charges. I would make sure to file the stolen medication report ASAP and also try to get written statements (if possible..tape record 'em if not) from the other party-goers before their memory fades too much.

Good luck and keep us updated!

UPDATE: a quick word of advice, I know you feel like you have nothing to hide (and from my POV you don't...) but if you are questioned at all by the police regarding what happened to her I'd stick with a very basic run down of what you SAW only with no assumptions or interpretations. Such as... I walked in to my kitchen, saw her down and called 911 immediately. I waited with her while the paramedics were enroute. If they try to take it beyond a simple statement, I would IMMEDIATELY refuse to answer questions and contact an attorney. Either way.. I would again like to thank you for the way you handled this. I've actually seen people dumped out of cars a hospitals or left to die on their back in someone's bathroom. THOSE are the cases where we go balls to the wall (pardon the phrase) to nail the SOB up and down with charges. In my experience ANY person who handles this situation the way you did will not have a problem. Its really good to know that there are people like you (and the posters who replied in kind) out there.
 
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My advice: always lock up your medication. What if this person ended up dying? The mere cost of a safe and some chains to keep the safe in one place, could have prevented this entire event. It's better to invest the money, to make sure that your medication doesn't go missing not only for your sake, but for the person who might be taking it to try to overdose.

I know you can't go back in time and get a safe now, but for your next prescription, do that. It'll pay for itself in a single day when your meds don't go missing the next time a suicidal person goes looking for a bottle of pills and finds nothing - and the best thing is, you won't know it paid for itself! No one's going to tell you "oh yeah I was going to down your entire bottle of xanax....but I couldn't find it..." you feel me?

You have to assume the worst in everyone, so that you can prepare for the worst. It's better to be pleasantly surprised that you can trust people, rather than finding out the hard way that you can't.
 
Rhode Island, Illinois, Florida, Colorado and New York have passed laws in the past two years, joining Connecticut, Washington and New Mexico. The bills differ in some respects, but generally shield from prosecution a person who is in possession of a small quantity of drugs and who seeks medical aid after an overdose. Advocates contend the laws are written in such a way to limit the immunity to drug possession, meaning that other crimes police encounter — such as a basement lab that churns out large supplies of narcotics — would remain illegal.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/states-encouraging-drug-users-report-overdoses


http://www.thedailybeast.com/newswe...maritan-laws-could-save-overdose-victims.html

IMO the good samaritan drug law should be instituted in every state, one of many legal changes that should take place concerning drugs and how poorly drug addicts and users are mistreated.
 
neversickanymore said:
Rhode Island, Illinois, Florida, Colorado and New York have passed laws in the past two years, joining Connecticut, Washington and New Mexico. The bills differ in some respects, but generally shield from prosecution a person who is in possession of a small quantity of drugs and who seeks medical aid after an overdose. Advocates contend the laws are written in such a way to limit the immunity to drug possession, meaning that other crimes police encounter — such as a basement lab that churns out large supplies of narcotics — would remain illegal.

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/states-encouraging-drug-users-report-overdoses


http://www.thedailybeast.com/newswe...maritan-laws-could-save-overdose-victims.html

IMO the good samaritan drug law should be instituted in every state, one of many legal changes that should take place concerning drugs and how poorly drug addicts and users are mistreated.
Click to expand...

Yeah every time I go to the needle exchange and ask for more naloxone, I'll explain the circumstances of why I used it or gave it to someone and how they used it to reverse an overdose...and I have never called the cops nor any of my friends. They ask "do you think it's because you'd get in trouble?" - my answer, "Oh, no... they just don't care about whether I live or die, and are not interested in helping me." They definitely wanted to let me know that I shouldn't be afraid to call for help but I honestly think it's pointless (administering naloxone will give you enough time to get a ride or call a cab to go to the ER if necessary) if you can take care of it yourself.

It's definitely good to know the laws in your state; I wish there were more states with the good Samaritan laws.
 
SkagKush said:
In situations like this it is always best to put the energy your putting into worrying, into problem solving instead. You did the right thing, and if you just tell the truth hopefully it will prevail. Luckily you have at least one other friend who can back you up, aside from the girl and her bf.

I am sorry this has happened to you, and I wish you nothing but luck. When people do the right thing, the right then usually happens to them.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. You saved a girl's life tonight and that's what you should be thinking about right now - and you should be proud of it, it's huge. Don't start panicking about what might happen next. There really isn't any point speculating and freaking out about all the possible outcomes - deal with things as they come. Just tell the truth and things should be all right.
Best of luck.
 
Pagey said:
I agree with this. You saved a girl's life tonight and that's what you should be thinking about right now - and you should be proud of it, it's huge. Don't start panicking about what might happen next. There really isn't any point speculating and freaking out about all the possible outcomes - deal with things as they come. Just tell the truth and things should be all right.
Best of luck.
Click to expand...

Exactly, you should feel really proud of yourself. Take it as a learning experience and go from there. :)

You can also let this person's friends/family know that she needs help... that might go a long way in getting her the help she needs. Sometimes people can keep their issues to themselves so well for some reason, that the people who care the most don't find out until it's too late. :(
 
Yeah. I wouldn't stress it.
I mean, what's the worst they can do? Give you a summary for giving liquor to a minor- which really, they can't prove anyway.
It's not like she died or anything.

Just because they find Xanax in her system, and you have a prescription for Xanax mean absolutely nothing.
 
SkagKush said:
In situations like this it is always best to put the energy your putting into worrying, into problem solving instead. You did the right thing, and if you just tell the truth hopefully it will prevail. Luckily you have at least one other friend who can back you up, aside from the girl and her bf.

I am sorry this has happened to you, and I wish you nothing but luck. When people do the right thing, the right then usually happens to them.
Click to expand...

^ I agree with this wholeheartedly.

Although it may be hard to think of a solution, try to relax and look at things rationally. She is alive right now and that's what matters. Without proof of you supplying her the alcohol or Xanax, I don't think there is really much you could be charged with. Then again, I'm not qualified to give you legal counsel.

Keep us updated? <3
 
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and advice.

She got out of the hospital and was ok. She claims that they told her she had a seizure. She called me and bitched me out, though, and wouldn't admit to taking my xanax.

I've moved, and no longer hang out or keep in touch with either her or her boyfriend, as I think that it's likely they were in cahoots about stealing my meds.

And, luckily, I was able to get a script for my xanax, though I have to pick it up every two days for now, until I can talk to my psychiatrist.

I shudder to think what would have happened if I'd gone to bed without deciding to check on her, though. I'm certain she would have died. You're all right, I can at least take pride in the fact that I did the right thing.
 
She bitched you out for calling the ambulance? She sounds young and like she's probably still got at least a few tough years ahead of her. I have little doubt that down the road, if she gets her life together, she will reach out to you to make amends. I hope she makes it to that point.

I just read the thread now, but I want to echo that you did the right thing. It is easy to get lost in the "what if"s, but the main thing is that this time it turned out okay and you are doing your best to educate others on what to do should they ever come across something similar.

Nobody's life should ever have to be up in the air while people try and figure out the law. I think more stories would end like yours with such good samaritan laws as a universal standard. And with cops who arrive at a scene to help and not harass.
 
You absolutely did the right thing. I would not allow that girl to come over to your house anymore. A drug stealing immature suicidal underage girl is nothing but trouble.
 
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