I haven't been seeing the point of much of anything lately

[Uden]

That may sound a bit depressing but honestly that's the main thing that reminds me to stay grounded.

Brother, you're not alone. (I know that probably doesn't help.) I just mean that you're not saying anything I don't feel personally on a daily basis. And you're right, it's exhausting/draining. (I don't think you specifically said that, but I got the impression somehow that you feel it anyway.) I don't know exactly how to help, I can't even help myself. I actually lean on the things I believe regarding... spirituality, if you want to call it that, which are pretty limited in their own right. I believe there is something. That's about the extent of it, but it still gives me hope when it's not giving me nightmares. *shrug*

Don't mean to sound like a downer, but specifically as I age (going to be 31 soon), I don't have the same kind of optimism I did when I was in my early twenties and more starry eyed about "finding myself."

Yeah. Again, you don't need to worry about that with me personally. I am quite depressing on my own. I hope, for your own sake, that you find something here while you have the chance. It's not as impossible as it seems. I should probably take my own advice but I gave up a while back. Something something. I hate to think there are people out there feeling like I feel about this place. It ain't fun. But I think you're on the right track with nature. There are probably always going to be times when the mind wanders places you'd rather it didn't. I want to offer something to help... but I'm coming up blank. I suppose I could say this, but I'd be surprised if you hadn't heard it before: The meaning of life, is to give life meaning.