I have one little problem.. Need opinions please..

[Brody5150]

Well.. It's more like a huge problem.. lol but not like SUPER bad.. Well maybe.. I'm not sure, and this is why I need opinions, not advice.

So I have this online friend that doesn't live far from me. We've talked for the last 3 years but never met. Last week, I finally confessed I have a crush on him (yeah after 3 years lol) and so we have been talking in a more intimate way and making plans to meet for the first time.. He's very mature for his age but.. Ok well.. To be honest, I don't remember if I asked his age when we first started talking.. Whether I did or not, I didn't remember how old he was, I just remembered he was younger than me. But since he was so mature, I assumed he was around my age, maybe just a year or 2 younger.. Turns out he's 6 years younger lol I can't believe I got myself into this.. We've been really cute and talking with each other for hours and hours all week.. His voice is so deep, I never would have guessed he was so damn young.. He is much taller than me, very smart, not into the party scene, he's just different.. And worst of all, he's exactly my type and he likes me despite my drug addictions.. I was very up front and reminded him of the things I did (we had talked about them a long time ago) and he said he didn't care. He's really sweet and at first I was like no no no I'm not dating a little kid.. He's not literally a kid lol but to me, he is..

I don't know what exactly my question is cause I know the answer is to not take it any further.. But every time I told him we couldn't get together after all, that I'm very sorry and didn't mean to lead him on, he continued to say all the right things and well.. He convinced me and now I want to also lol

I guess my question is.. Is it wrong if we do this? Do you guys think it's gross? What are your thoughts and what would you do if you were in my situation? I'm gonna be 23 in January and he's 17. I know I'd have to wait till he's 18.. But.. Is it as bad as it sounds in my head? Lol it's just.. I swear, I thought he was at least 20-22.. I did remember he was younger but God damn.. 6 whole years.. my mind is saying NO!!! But the butterflies in my stomach scream yes.. I feel like a cougar lol fml!!!!

 

[ATLL765]

Well.. It's more like a huge problem.. lol but not like SUPER bad.. Well maybe.. I'm not sure, and this is why I need opinions, not advice.

So I have this online friend that doesn't live far from me. We've talked for the last 3 years but never met. Last week, I finally confessed I have a crush on him (yeah after 3 years lol) and so we have been talking in a more intimate way and making plans to meet for the first time.. He's very mature for his age but.. Ok well.. To be honest, I don't remember if I asked his age when we first started talking.. Whether I did or not, I didn't remember how old he was, I just remembered he was younger than me. But since he was so mature, I assumed he was around my age, maybe just a year or 2 younger.. Turns out he's 6 years younger lol I can't believe I got myself into this.. We've been really cute and talking with each other for hours and hours all week.. His voice is so deep, I never would have guessed he was so damn young.. He is much taller than me, very smart, not into the party scene, he's just different.. And worst of all, he's exactly my type and he likes me despite my drug addictions.. I was very up front and reminded him of the things I did (we had talked about them a long time ago) and he said he didn't care. He's really sweet and at first I was like no no no I'm not dating a little kid.. He's not literally a kid lol but to me, he is..

I don't know what exactly my question is cause I know the answer is to not take it any further.. But every time I told him we couldn't get together after all, that I'm very sorry and didn't mean to lead him on, he continued to say all the right things and well.. He convinced me and now I want to also lol

I guess my question is.. Is it wrong if we do this? Do you guys think it's gross? What are your thoughts and what would you do if you were in my situation? I'm gonna be 23 in January and he's 17. I know I'd have to wait till he's 18.. But.. Is it as bad as it sounds in my head? Lol it's just.. I swear, I thought he was at least 20-22.. I did remember he was younger but God damn.. 6 whole years.. my mind is saying NO!!! But the butterflies in my stomach scream yes.. I feel like a cougar lol fml!!!!

That's a big age gap and I know that for me, a lot changed between the ages of 16 and now at age 24. Not sure what the laws are where you are. It would be perfectly legal where I am(NJ) as the age of consent is 16 here, but you really need to get a handle on whether he's really mature for his age or just appeared to be in your online conversations.

I got burned pretty bad after dating someone I had known irl, but had only spoken to via fbook and text for years. Turns out she was legitimately nuts. Not like guys always say chicks are nuts nuts, I mean fucking crazy insane nuts. Nothing in our conversations seemed to indicate that either. Not trying to scare you and say dude's gonna be a murderer, just saying he might not be as mature as he seems.

I would suggest you meet and have some real face to face interaction to get a better handle on who he is before you get too deep into anything.

 

[Shadowsblaze]

The age doesn't matter at all. When your young it feels that way. Its how mature the person is all that matters. When your older you'll see how immature the idea of the age difference really is.

 

[ATLL765]

The age doesn't matter at all. When your young it feels that way. Its how mature the person is all that matters. When your older you'll see how immature the idea of the age difference really is.

Age definitely does matter. Far less so once you're older as your brain has fully matured by age 25, but before reaching that point, age makes a difference.

Not to say that this person isn't mature enough, but I know I'm far more mature than I was 7 years ago at age 17. Most 17 year girls I've met recently aren't nearly mature enough to where dating them would be a good idea. Again, this is not to say that's the case for everyone, but I think treading lightly here and going slow is the way to go until you can really get a handle on how mature this person really is and whether it's a good idea to date.

 

[Brody5150]

Thank you guys!! This is exactly what I needed, to be snapped back to reality.. I was beginning to rationalize and think it was ok but you guys are right. There can be a ton of change between now and when he's grown up. I personally don't think I changed too much but I know people that did a whole lot..

I still want to be his friend though. He may not be 100% like how he acts online but he reminds me a little of how I used to be. We both agreed to Skype a couple of times and maybe sometime next year we can meet up but just as friends. I'm gonna tell him to stop sweet talking me. He's too good at it now that he knows I like him. I might just start to rationalize again lol I don't think he will keep doing it though, he is respectful.

Thanks again guys, I really appreciate it!!

 

[ATLL765]

Thank you guys!! This is exactly what I needed, to be snapped back to reality.. I was beginning to rationalize and think it was ok but you guys are right. There can be a ton of change between now and when he's grown up. I personally don't think I changed too much but I know people that did a whole lot..

I still want to be his friend though. He may not be 100% like how he acts online but he reminds me a little of how I used to be. We both agreed to Skype a couple of times and maybe sometime next year we can meet up but just as friends. I'm gonna tell him to stop sweet talking me. He's too good at it now that he knows I like him. I might just start to rationalize again lol I don't think he will keep doing it though, he is respectful.

Thanks again guys, I really appreciate it!!

If that's what you think is best, then that's what you should do. I don't think that an in person meet would be a bad thing though. Like I said, people can be very different in person than they are online, so an in person meet could either bring the relationship to the next level or back down to Earth. Good luck.

 

[Shadowsblaze]

Well age don't mean shit to me. At my age its all good, lol.

 

[llama112]

Wait until he's 18 and then go for it.

Meeting people online and talking to them without that age barrier can be great for things like this.

Like others have said, he will likely change a lot (more than you will change) but that doesn't mean anything. The difference between when I was 17 and 24 (today) is huge. At 17, I was starting university, with my first boyfriend, still a virgin, living with my parents. Now I'm 24, engaged, working full time, living on my own, etc. The difference between those ages is extreme. You shouldn't automatically say no, but you should be careful of it.

 

[samnslumberland]

Skyping before meeting in person is a great idea regardless of his age! I agree with llama112, wait until he's 18 to meet up. You'll be more comfortable with the situation and it's likely to go a lot smoother.

 

[Brody5150]

Thank you everyone!!!

He will be 18 in 2 months and then he'll technically be 5 years younger so it doesn't sound as bad lol Idk..

We are going to Skype tomorrow cause I'm really busy today, and we're not gonna meet till after his birthday but just as friends and we'll see where it goes from there.

Thanks again everyone, i really appreciate it