roganmaster
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2010
- Messages
- 350
This happened to me back in October, thought I’d share it with you all. It’s a long read, oh well. Names have been redacted. Hopefully this helps serve as a warning, it was one of the worst nights of my life.
I hadn’t tripped on acid for awhile, my normal sources had run dry and so I was excited to hear that my friend Benny was going to get some from his normal supplier. This was the first time I had ever seen gel-tabs/windowpanes, but since this was Benny’s normal hook-up and I trusted Benny, I figured this would be fine.
I am an experienced tripper, I’ve taken acid several times and have only had one other “bad trip.” I’ve always preferred low doses, especially with new hook-ups, so around 4:00pm, I dropped one windowpane. I spend the next 30 minutes conversing with my friends, who would be sitting with me for the night.
At T:0:30, I start to feel something. Music starts to sound good and colors just seem brighter. I take this as a good sign and my normal anxiety starts to relieve itself. I watch my friend John play video games as I twirl an orbit (light show toy) around.
T:0:50 - After having listened to some trance music and played with lights the hallucinations become more and more vivid. I go to my room and put my headphones on and watch the iTunes visualizer because I’m feeling very anxious. I’m only sitting for about 1-2 minutes before I start to get restless, agitated, and want to get up and move around. I tell myself to relax and I try waiting it out, but impulse has me up and into the hallway, which is no longer the normal cream colored hallway it once was, but a turquoise, swirling vortex. Thinking that this must be some extremely potent acid, I calm myself down by going outside and taking a few deep breaths, but I feel really cold (it’s 65F out) so I put on a sweatshirt. My hands are shaking.
T:1:00 – I am generally pretty good at listening to my body when I’m on any given substance. All of the physical effects and hallucinations just keep getting stronger, and I keep getting more and more scared. There is none of the euphoria or normal “frying” feeling that I get from acid, and I am starting to get worried. I ask John to come keep an eye on me for a minute while I attempt to call Benny and see how he’s feeling. Surely, I assume, this is all in my head and he’s out hiking and having a wonderful trip with Nadine and Derek. I pick up my phone, find him in my contacts, and I call. No answer. I figure he just has poor reception so I put my phone back and John tries to calm me down, asking me questions. He’s a firefighter and in the Coast Guard, he’s certified in CPR and is in school to become a nurse, so I am feeling safe with him. He takes my pulse and tells me that my heart is absolutely racing for having only just been sitting around in my house. He then puts his hand on my forehead and tells me I feel feverish and this does not help my mental state. I freak out a little more.
T:1:10 – I’ve been pacing back and forth for about 10 minutes, and the hallucinations keep getting worse. I don’t have any of the normal physical or euphoric feelings I get from acid – nothing feels right at all. I contemplate smoking a bowl but my phone rings, Benny’s name pops up. Thank God. It’s Nadine:
“Hey did you call?” –N
“Yeah, I was wondering, how is your trip going? How’s the acid?” –Me
“It’s been a little weird, Benny ate three and has been acting strangely. I've never seen him like this and he usually doses even higher. We had to come home.” -N
“He’s been acting weird? Is he alright? Can I come over?” –Me
“He’s ok now, we’re just watching TV. Sure come on over.” –N
T:1:15 – I ask John to drive me to Benny’s so that I can be around other trippers. Fortunately, Benny lives only 8 blocks away and even though we probably could have walked, I was nauseated and kind of off balance, so we got in his car. I roll the window down and the fresh air feels good. The sky has swirling patterns and vortexes in it. Colors are completely distorted, but none of these hallucinations are the same as when I’m on Lucy. Everything just has a wash of color over it, as if someone put weird colored lenses over my eyes. There are no patterns or greater understanding of patterns like I normally get. John re-assures me that I’m probably just stuck in my head and everything will be fine.
T:1:20 – We arrive at Benny’s and we go inside. My eyes are immediately directed towards Benny who is sitting on the couch. He has a bewildered look on his face, his eyes are crossed, and his pupils are massively dilated. He’s also sweating profusely. This scares me even worse. Derek’s eyes are huge and he has a blank stare on his face, eyes crossed, and he’s also sweating profusely. At this point, Benny is incapable of talking to anyone, he just looks back and forth, the same look on his face. It’s terrifying, like no one is home.
I ask Nadine what’s happened. She tells me that their driver was taking them to the hiking place when Benny began to freak out. He started thrashing around in the car and they had to strap him down and bring him home. Upon returning, he attempted to jump out of the car after parking, bit Derek, and ran around in the street. Those that were sober had to wrestle Benny to the ground and he seemed to have superhuman strength. I begin to freak out even more and decide that this environment is not good for me. I tell Nadine to call me if something happens or if Benny comes out of his stupor and can speak, and I go back to the car with John.
T:1:30 – I tell John that the fresh air was relaxing, and so he opts to drive me around the city with the windows down. He drives me for about 30 minutes as it began to get darker out. My anxiety is relieved a little bit, but I feel a little dissociated from my body. The hallucinations and color washes remain very intense. I still feel cold despite my racing heart and warm forehead. I also am getting slight tunnel vision and my overall state of mind is bordering on confused. This trip continues to go deeper and deeper, I am losing control of everything.
T:2:00 – It’s about 6:00pm and we arrived home, I get a text from my girlfriend asking how the trip was going. I stare blankly at the keys on my iPhone and attempt to jumble out a few words but forget to press send. John and Nathan are the only two people home, and Scott hasn’t yet returned from the gym. I attempt to call Scott as time passes by extremely slowly. I sit down and John and Nathan keep an eye on me while they cook dinner.
**From T:2:30 until about T:6:00, I was completely blacked out. After I came out of this state of mind, I began to slowly remember shreds of what happened during the course of this 3.5 hours, but I’ll describe to the best of my own knowledge and what my friends told me what happened for this period.**
I desperately want to see my girlfriend, Cindy, and I call her. Since she is in Seattle, she explains that I won’t see her for about 72 hours. I complain and we talk a little more, but I decide I’m thirsty and get up. I stand up and dizzily try to make it to the kitchen from my seat on the couch. I cannot walk in a straight line, nothing in my house looks normal. Colors are screwed up, things are cast over with different shades. My friends look like aliens. I attempt to tell myself I’m just on acid as I grab a glass from the cupboard and turn the faucet on. I forget what I’m doing and walk over to the computer and speakers which are playing trance. I scream that this music is too repetitive but I cannot figure out how to use the computer, so I force Scott to change it. This song sucks too. The next one sucks. John brings me a glass of water and explains that I left the faucet on. I attempt to hold it but my hands are shaking like I have Parkinson’s. He takes the cup back and puts it on the counter.
I repeatedly call back and forth between Benny and Cindy. I don’t realize how much time is actually passing between calls. Judging by looking at my call log the next day and what my friends told me, I was literally calling a different person every 1-2 minutes. I’m sitting on the couch as I’m doing this, and my friends told me that in between calling people, I would ask everybody how they were doing, and then ask how long until Cindy would arrive. I had 0 short term memory. I would instantly forget I had said or done something and then ask once more, only to forget again. I remember Scott repeatedly telling me that Cindy was not coming tonight and for some reason in my head I thought she had died. This makes me sad, but Scott tells me that Cindy is just in Seattle. I interpret this to mean that Cindy is on her way down. I excitedly get up and run down into the basement. Scott follows.
**Scott told me that I ran through my friends’ bedrooms, opening doors and “looking for things.” He also told me that I attempted to do laundry down here too, but stopped after putting half of my clothes into the washer. I run upstairs and Scott still follows, keeping a close eye on me. Keep in mind through all of this, I am blacked out. I do not know what is going on. I have forgotten that I am on hallucinogens at this point, and I am completely dissociated from myself.**
I keep asking for Cindy, and somehow still believe that she is driving down to see me. I clean my room, make my bed, and put things away in incorrect places. I then run outside and Scott follows me. I attempt to call Cindy again and as I’m walking through the neighborhood, I tell her that I am on my way. She hangs up and calls Scott. I walk up to a random neighbor’s house and I’m about to knock on the door. Scott stops me and asks me what I’m doing. I respond with “I’m going to Cindy’s house!” He tells me that this is not Cindy’s house. The next few minutes proceeded with me yelling profanities at Scott.
“FUCK YOU SCOTT.”
“I DON’T TRUST YOU. CINDY TOLD ME NOT TO TRUST YOU.”
“WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO SEATTLE?”
I continue to run around the neighborhood, screaming. I don’t remember any of this. Scott somehow convinces me to come back home and I run around the house doing random things. At one point I managed to pull my bong out and smoke a bowl. I’m not sure why nobody stopped me. I then proceed to do whippits, and my friends are relieved that I am finally just sitting on the couch.
This whole time, I had been in several extremely intense thought loops. It felt like “Inception,” because as I was working on completing one loop, another would open, and I would go deeper into my brain. Time was at a stand-still. I was not me. I had no control over my physical movement; my body just did things impulsively. Half of what I said came out as jumbled crap. My jaw hurt from clenching, I was sweating, and my heart was still racing. To top it off, I had completely forgotten that I was tripping. I was in a bad state of mind, completely trapped.
Having completely forgotten I was on a hallucinogen and not being in my own mind, I grab a capsule filled with 200mg of very pure molly. I hold it in my hand and I’m about to bite down on it as Scott grabs it from me. He tells me that I can’t do that and he goes and hides it somewhere. I decide that I’ll wait for Cindy to arrive by taking a nap, so I jump in bed with my clothes and shoes on, and sit there and stare at what used to be my ceiling for approximately 30 seconds. It felt like 30 hours. Time would simply not move. I felt scared, agitated, and anxious. None of this was normal for acid, and I had only taken one hit.
I’m not proud or happy of what happened next, but it’s part of the story. It’s not like me at all to do what I did. I managed to grab a duffel bag and put a bunch of random items in it. I grabbed my keys, and got into my car without my friends noticing. I felt one with the car, driving seemed more natural than anything else in the world at this point. I wasn’t in my mind, but my mind somehow knew exactly where to turn, stop, etc. I got on the freeway, and headed north. I passed the border from Portland into Washington, and continued driving. About 30 minutes into my drive, I got a phone call from Cindy.
-Cindy: “Where are you?”
-Me: “I’m driving to come see you!!”
-Cindy: “You don’t have your wallet!”
I checked, it wasn’t in my pocket. All of a sudden, every single thought loop was completed at once. Immediately, the hallucinations stopped, I regained control of my body, and I remembered who I was, that I had taken a gel-tab and that I should not be behind the wheel. It was almost as if the trip had ended right then and there. I came out of being completely blacked out and I felt complete and utter embarrassment. I had no idea what had happened, how I had gotten to where I was, or anything. I had been pulled out of 9 or 10 thought loops at once, Inception style. I called Scott, apparently he had already talked to Cindy and knew where I would be going. He and John drove up the highway to get my car and bring me home.
T:6:45-T:7:00 - I walked back into my house, still feeling the drug with no hallucinations, and then the hallucinations resumed. Scott sat on the couch and surfed the web, keeping an eye on me. I just drank green-tea and waited until about 1:30am for the trip to be over (which is when a hit of acid would normally end for me...about 8-9 hours in), but it still wasn’t. The hallucinations continued well until 7:30am when I finally just passed out. I could feel my body trying to rid itself of this terrible drug.
I slept terribly. Tossed and turned, hallucinated. Nightmares. I had the next day to contemplate what had happened. While discussing the night with my friends, bits and pieces of my blackout returned to me, but other parts still remain gone. I called Benny and all he said was that he didn’t remember a thing – he was completely blacked out all night.
What I do know is that whatever was on that gel-tab was NOT acid. It didn’t feel like acid. It didn’t feel like frying. It lasted too long to be acid (15+hours). I know Lucy very well, and she was not with me that night. I can only speculate what substance it was, but judging from the physical effects that I, along with the other trippers experienced, it was probably something in the DOx family.
I hadn’t tripped on acid for awhile, my normal sources had run dry and so I was excited to hear that my friend Benny was going to get some from his normal supplier. This was the first time I had ever seen gel-tabs/windowpanes, but since this was Benny’s normal hook-up and I trusted Benny, I figured this would be fine.
I am an experienced tripper, I’ve taken acid several times and have only had one other “bad trip.” I’ve always preferred low doses, especially with new hook-ups, so around 4:00pm, I dropped one windowpane. I spend the next 30 minutes conversing with my friends, who would be sitting with me for the night.
At T:0:30, I start to feel something. Music starts to sound good and colors just seem brighter. I take this as a good sign and my normal anxiety starts to relieve itself. I watch my friend John play video games as I twirl an orbit (light show toy) around.
T:0:50 - After having listened to some trance music and played with lights the hallucinations become more and more vivid. I go to my room and put my headphones on and watch the iTunes visualizer because I’m feeling very anxious. I’m only sitting for about 1-2 minutes before I start to get restless, agitated, and want to get up and move around. I tell myself to relax and I try waiting it out, but impulse has me up and into the hallway, which is no longer the normal cream colored hallway it once was, but a turquoise, swirling vortex. Thinking that this must be some extremely potent acid, I calm myself down by going outside and taking a few deep breaths, but I feel really cold (it’s 65F out) so I put on a sweatshirt. My hands are shaking.
T:1:00 – I am generally pretty good at listening to my body when I’m on any given substance. All of the physical effects and hallucinations just keep getting stronger, and I keep getting more and more scared. There is none of the euphoria or normal “frying” feeling that I get from acid, and I am starting to get worried. I ask John to come keep an eye on me for a minute while I attempt to call Benny and see how he’s feeling. Surely, I assume, this is all in my head and he’s out hiking and having a wonderful trip with Nadine and Derek. I pick up my phone, find him in my contacts, and I call. No answer. I figure he just has poor reception so I put my phone back and John tries to calm me down, asking me questions. He’s a firefighter and in the Coast Guard, he’s certified in CPR and is in school to become a nurse, so I am feeling safe with him. He takes my pulse and tells me that my heart is absolutely racing for having only just been sitting around in my house. He then puts his hand on my forehead and tells me I feel feverish and this does not help my mental state. I freak out a little more.
T:1:10 – I’ve been pacing back and forth for about 10 minutes, and the hallucinations keep getting worse. I don’t have any of the normal physical or euphoric feelings I get from acid – nothing feels right at all. I contemplate smoking a bowl but my phone rings, Benny’s name pops up. Thank God. It’s Nadine:
“Hey did you call?” –N
“Yeah, I was wondering, how is your trip going? How’s the acid?” –Me
“It’s been a little weird, Benny ate three and has been acting strangely. I've never seen him like this and he usually doses even higher. We had to come home.” -N
“He’s been acting weird? Is he alright? Can I come over?” –Me
“He’s ok now, we’re just watching TV. Sure come on over.” –N
T:1:15 – I ask John to drive me to Benny’s so that I can be around other trippers. Fortunately, Benny lives only 8 blocks away and even though we probably could have walked, I was nauseated and kind of off balance, so we got in his car. I roll the window down and the fresh air feels good. The sky has swirling patterns and vortexes in it. Colors are completely distorted, but none of these hallucinations are the same as when I’m on Lucy. Everything just has a wash of color over it, as if someone put weird colored lenses over my eyes. There are no patterns or greater understanding of patterns like I normally get. John re-assures me that I’m probably just stuck in my head and everything will be fine.
T:1:20 – We arrive at Benny’s and we go inside. My eyes are immediately directed towards Benny who is sitting on the couch. He has a bewildered look on his face, his eyes are crossed, and his pupils are massively dilated. He’s also sweating profusely. This scares me even worse. Derek’s eyes are huge and he has a blank stare on his face, eyes crossed, and he’s also sweating profusely. At this point, Benny is incapable of talking to anyone, he just looks back and forth, the same look on his face. It’s terrifying, like no one is home.
I ask Nadine what’s happened. She tells me that their driver was taking them to the hiking place when Benny began to freak out. He started thrashing around in the car and they had to strap him down and bring him home. Upon returning, he attempted to jump out of the car after parking, bit Derek, and ran around in the street. Those that were sober had to wrestle Benny to the ground and he seemed to have superhuman strength. I begin to freak out even more and decide that this environment is not good for me. I tell Nadine to call me if something happens or if Benny comes out of his stupor and can speak, and I go back to the car with John.
T:1:30 – I tell John that the fresh air was relaxing, and so he opts to drive me around the city with the windows down. He drives me for about 30 minutes as it began to get darker out. My anxiety is relieved a little bit, but I feel a little dissociated from my body. The hallucinations and color washes remain very intense. I still feel cold despite my racing heart and warm forehead. I also am getting slight tunnel vision and my overall state of mind is bordering on confused. This trip continues to go deeper and deeper, I am losing control of everything.
T:2:00 – It’s about 6:00pm and we arrived home, I get a text from my girlfriend asking how the trip was going. I stare blankly at the keys on my iPhone and attempt to jumble out a few words but forget to press send. John and Nathan are the only two people home, and Scott hasn’t yet returned from the gym. I attempt to call Scott as time passes by extremely slowly. I sit down and John and Nathan keep an eye on me while they cook dinner.
**From T:2:30 until about T:6:00, I was completely blacked out. After I came out of this state of mind, I began to slowly remember shreds of what happened during the course of this 3.5 hours, but I’ll describe to the best of my own knowledge and what my friends told me what happened for this period.**
I desperately want to see my girlfriend, Cindy, and I call her. Since she is in Seattle, she explains that I won’t see her for about 72 hours. I complain and we talk a little more, but I decide I’m thirsty and get up. I stand up and dizzily try to make it to the kitchen from my seat on the couch. I cannot walk in a straight line, nothing in my house looks normal. Colors are screwed up, things are cast over with different shades. My friends look like aliens. I attempt to tell myself I’m just on acid as I grab a glass from the cupboard and turn the faucet on. I forget what I’m doing and walk over to the computer and speakers which are playing trance. I scream that this music is too repetitive but I cannot figure out how to use the computer, so I force Scott to change it. This song sucks too. The next one sucks. John brings me a glass of water and explains that I left the faucet on. I attempt to hold it but my hands are shaking like I have Parkinson’s. He takes the cup back and puts it on the counter.
I repeatedly call back and forth between Benny and Cindy. I don’t realize how much time is actually passing between calls. Judging by looking at my call log the next day and what my friends told me, I was literally calling a different person every 1-2 minutes. I’m sitting on the couch as I’m doing this, and my friends told me that in between calling people, I would ask everybody how they were doing, and then ask how long until Cindy would arrive. I had 0 short term memory. I would instantly forget I had said or done something and then ask once more, only to forget again. I remember Scott repeatedly telling me that Cindy was not coming tonight and for some reason in my head I thought she had died. This makes me sad, but Scott tells me that Cindy is just in Seattle. I interpret this to mean that Cindy is on her way down. I excitedly get up and run down into the basement. Scott follows.
**Scott told me that I ran through my friends’ bedrooms, opening doors and “looking for things.” He also told me that I attempted to do laundry down here too, but stopped after putting half of my clothes into the washer. I run upstairs and Scott still follows, keeping a close eye on me. Keep in mind through all of this, I am blacked out. I do not know what is going on. I have forgotten that I am on hallucinogens at this point, and I am completely dissociated from myself.**
I keep asking for Cindy, and somehow still believe that she is driving down to see me. I clean my room, make my bed, and put things away in incorrect places. I then run outside and Scott follows me. I attempt to call Cindy again and as I’m walking through the neighborhood, I tell her that I am on my way. She hangs up and calls Scott. I walk up to a random neighbor’s house and I’m about to knock on the door. Scott stops me and asks me what I’m doing. I respond with “I’m going to Cindy’s house!” He tells me that this is not Cindy’s house. The next few minutes proceeded with me yelling profanities at Scott.
“FUCK YOU SCOTT.”
“I DON’T TRUST YOU. CINDY TOLD ME NOT TO TRUST YOU.”
“WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO SEATTLE?”
I continue to run around the neighborhood, screaming. I don’t remember any of this. Scott somehow convinces me to come back home and I run around the house doing random things. At one point I managed to pull my bong out and smoke a bowl. I’m not sure why nobody stopped me. I then proceed to do whippits, and my friends are relieved that I am finally just sitting on the couch.
This whole time, I had been in several extremely intense thought loops. It felt like “Inception,” because as I was working on completing one loop, another would open, and I would go deeper into my brain. Time was at a stand-still. I was not me. I had no control over my physical movement; my body just did things impulsively. Half of what I said came out as jumbled crap. My jaw hurt from clenching, I was sweating, and my heart was still racing. To top it off, I had completely forgotten that I was tripping. I was in a bad state of mind, completely trapped.
Having completely forgotten I was on a hallucinogen and not being in my own mind, I grab a capsule filled with 200mg of very pure molly. I hold it in my hand and I’m about to bite down on it as Scott grabs it from me. He tells me that I can’t do that and he goes and hides it somewhere. I decide that I’ll wait for Cindy to arrive by taking a nap, so I jump in bed with my clothes and shoes on, and sit there and stare at what used to be my ceiling for approximately 30 seconds. It felt like 30 hours. Time would simply not move. I felt scared, agitated, and anxious. None of this was normal for acid, and I had only taken one hit.
I’m not proud or happy of what happened next, but it’s part of the story. It’s not like me at all to do what I did. I managed to grab a duffel bag and put a bunch of random items in it. I grabbed my keys, and got into my car without my friends noticing. I felt one with the car, driving seemed more natural than anything else in the world at this point. I wasn’t in my mind, but my mind somehow knew exactly where to turn, stop, etc. I got on the freeway, and headed north. I passed the border from Portland into Washington, and continued driving. About 30 minutes into my drive, I got a phone call from Cindy.
-Cindy: “Where are you?”
-Me: “I’m driving to come see you!!”
-Cindy: “You don’t have your wallet!”
I checked, it wasn’t in my pocket. All of a sudden, every single thought loop was completed at once. Immediately, the hallucinations stopped, I regained control of my body, and I remembered who I was, that I had taken a gel-tab and that I should not be behind the wheel. It was almost as if the trip had ended right then and there. I came out of being completely blacked out and I felt complete and utter embarrassment. I had no idea what had happened, how I had gotten to where I was, or anything. I had been pulled out of 9 or 10 thought loops at once, Inception style. I called Scott, apparently he had already talked to Cindy and knew where I would be going. He and John drove up the highway to get my car and bring me home.
T:6:45-T:7:00 - I walked back into my house, still feeling the drug with no hallucinations, and then the hallucinations resumed. Scott sat on the couch and surfed the web, keeping an eye on me. I just drank green-tea and waited until about 1:30am for the trip to be over (which is when a hit of acid would normally end for me...about 8-9 hours in), but it still wasn’t. The hallucinations continued well until 7:30am when I finally just passed out. I could feel my body trying to rid itself of this terrible drug.
I slept terribly. Tossed and turned, hallucinated. Nightmares. I had the next day to contemplate what had happened. While discussing the night with my friends, bits and pieces of my blackout returned to me, but other parts still remain gone. I called Benny and all he said was that he didn’t remember a thing – he was completely blacked out all night.
What I do know is that whatever was on that gel-tab was NOT acid. It didn’t feel like acid. It didn’t feel like frying. It lasted too long to be acid (15+hours). I know Lucy very well, and she was not with me that night. I can only speculate what substance it was, but judging from the physical effects that I, along with the other trippers experienced, it was probably something in the DOx family.
