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I feel this is all wrong but why cant I stop it?

T

TitaniumGirl

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
17
Location
Beyond Wonderland
I've been dating the same guy for 4 years. he was my first boyfriend and we were very serious. But the first 2 years he didnt trust me and i still stayed with him. I loved him unconditionally. he took all his shit. But, I had a close male friend whom he didnt like and asked me frequently to stop talking to him. at times i did but i hit a low point and that person helped me a lot. But because of this the boyfriend thought i had cheated and constantly accused. I still stayed with him. We recently broke up and its been so confusing. he tells me he doesnt want to be with me but he still hangs out with me. its weird. i get my hopes up. especially when he holds my hand or kisses me or we have sex. as soon as we arent together, his mood changes and he hates me. I feel incredibly pathetic because i just cant not love him anymore. I feel like im losing my mind. when i stop answering him and try to move on, he sweet talks me to get me close again. I want to be with him but he always reminds me that we arent together or even dating. what is all this then?
 
Pander Bear said:
you're both pathetic, and you should take more elaborate and advanced steps to keep from being with him.
Click to expand...
Dude, you're seriously fucked in the head. That's the best advice you can give? Have you ever actually had consentual sex with anyone you didn't pay? You're Bluelight crew for fuck sake, be a little bit more supportive or don't even fucking bother posting. I can't believe I'm saying this to you.
OP, it's your first major relationship and you've been with him for a really long time, so it's gotta be really hard adjusting to not having someone being there for you like that. But you've only been in love like that once and it probably feels like he's the only cunt that's ever gonna give you that feeling. But if he was trying to tear you from another male friend cos he was jealous of your perfectly normal friendship, it sounds like he's trying to own you instead of love you. And at this point, if he keeps using your feelings to his advantage, pulling you back and messing with your head when he only wants some poon and nothing more, I'd say you're better off without this clown. This kind of relationship isn't going to go anywhere at this point.
Look, I'm far from an expert on this subject but you need to cut this guy off because he's really bad for your health. I bet if you hypothetically fucked your other male friend even while technically apart from him and he found out he'd still go off his nut. Something like "so you always felt that way about him?" etc etc. You will find someone else that special, without a doubt. Your other friend obviously sees a lot in you if he's always been there for you, and that's proof enough to say that another guy will find you, and love you enough to respect you and your friendships. Somehow you need to set your feelings aside for him, because if it's obvious to a complete stranger over the Internet what the outcome of your relationship with him, emotional sexual or just friends, is going to be then it's gotta be clear as daylight to you. All the best.
"You can make the future but it starts with leavin' the past."
 
OP, he's using you for sex. That's why he "seems so affectionate and kisses you."

You need to accept that it's over and put your foot down. I realize it's hard. I know it's hard, but for your own sanity, you have to let go and move on. Tell him NO the next time he tries to sweet talk you to go out. He's doing it to have sex, because it's easy. It's much harder to pick up some chick at a bar who he doesn't know, get her to have sex. Let me guess: you don't use condoms either. He knows he has you wrapped around his finger, so he can do whatever he wants and have 0 commitment or hassle having sex with you.
 
Thank you guys. I truly appreciate the input. Sometimes it's easier opening up to strangers lol I take everything you've said to heart. I know this isnt right and im going to do everything i can do stop it. I feel completely foolish for thinking i was going to be with my first boyfriend forever. silly right? but now i see that the world is a huge place and ive accepted that its okay to love more than once. You guys are awesome. I really needed this. you have no idea :]
 
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