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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

I feel like I'm going to die

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FlyLila

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 17, 2014
Messages
26
I am on end of Day 4 of yet again trying to quit and I feel awful. I feel like I'm never going to be able to do this. I am addicted to an Oxycodone habit of about 30mgs. daily. It started with Vicodin about 16 years ago. It progressed to 30 mgs. of Oxycodone daily. I have taken a pain killer/s every day for the past 16 years. No one knows I do this. I'm a surburban stay at home mom. Last person you would suspect to have a problem.
I feel like this will never end. I cannot imagine living like this every day sober. It feels like hell. My mind is foggy. I constantly crave. I fear that I will live every day like this for the rest of my life.
 
Well just try a tamper, slowly... very slowly wean yourself off. Go from 30mgs a day, then the next month do 20mgs everyother day, 30mgs everyotherday, next month just go 20mgs everydaayyy, and so on. Its okay to make mistakes along the way. That is how we learn.
 
The simple answer is that it definitely will get easier

Day four of a detox you are bound to feel like utter shite! Keep at it for say a week and then ask yourself if you feel as terrible as you did on day 1 or 2, I bet you wont. Keep at it for a further week after that and ask yourself if you feel as bad as you did at the end of the first week, I bet you will be feeling better again.

You should be 'over the hump' as it were with regards to the physical difficulty, things should start to get easier from here on in. The lost at sea/no light at the end of the tunnel feeling you are getting is a perfectly normal reaction and it does change. It can take a long time sometimes but it does happen. You might need to do some work on yourself to help change the fear of sobriety but it can be done for sure, nothing that's easy is worth having anyway!
 
Hey FlyLila and welcome to BL:D


Sorry your feeling rough. You can do this. It shouldn't get an worse than your at right now. The opiates should be outta your body and you just need to push through untill the brain re adjusts. This will happen noticeably with in three days.

There is nothing back there for you except a free return to start. All thats back there is the same crappy ground you have made the monumental push to get through.

We all pay the piper.. the trick is not to keep paying it over and over. Your over half way and doing great. Its not going to get worse and in a short time your going to feal much better.

Fight, fight, fight!!!:!<3

It just feels permanent.. your doing great!!!




Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison;)
 
I can assure you it does get better. Just give it time. Many have done it before you and there's no way you shouldn't. Have your priorities in line. You're not gonna die.
Stay strong. You're doing good.
 
So far I haven't died but I felt like it a few times. I'm thinking how many more times can I do this? Every month? Ugghh!

I'm ending Day 6 and starting Day 7!

Thank you so so so much for being there for me!! Love to you all!
 
Oh yes, I'm planning on staying clean. I meant that I was tired of doing this over and over every month I would run short while waiting for my next refill. I got to the point where I thought "I do not want to do this anymore every month." Basically I have been reading this forum since September and would detox for a few days while waiting for refill. This time I signed up here because I cannot do keep detoxing anymore. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm out of Day 1s for me.

Meanwhile, my addiction books arrived today! :)
 
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