I feel like I ruined myself for good! (5 months clean) please help.

[MD96]

You’re going to be OK. For real! You’re so young and your brain will heal. It will just take a little time, something you’re fortunate to have. I bet this spring is going to be a huge turnaround for you if you stay clean, something I imagine won’t be difficult for you due to your concerns.

The thing with needing to look at screens all the time or gaming is not unusual at all. I’d say the majority of young adults are in the same situation you are, but simoky don’t care. You do and are at heightened awareness. I’m not sure what part of the world or states you’re from, but see if there’s a park nearby and when the weather is nice yu can spend the there. A place to chill and read a book, comic books, magazines. If you need your phone or tablet while adjusting that’s OK. Give yourself time. That’s super important.

Thanks so much for your reply.
Im from Netherlands.
The weather is pretty bad right now but I did start to read books again 2 weeks ago. Its really relieving.
I cant even look at screens because i became way too sensitive to them. I used to look at screens 10 hours a day but now I already get lightheadedness and other symptoms after 1 hour thats why I decided to quit gaming too.
Ill see what time brings me

 

[mrxtz]

Hey, I hope I can give you some insight. I was in your shoes couple years back. Getting high, gaming all night, partying, going to sleep 6-7am. Not being home and staying over other peoples places. You can check my profile where I mentioned my anxiety issues a few years ago on this forum. I'm also around your age just a bit older & i started this seeking journey at your age.

Best advice I can give you is,

1. This was my first step, Cut off all the people who bring on a negative effect whether its be mentally, physically.
   
   
2. If social media has a grasp on you, deactivate it all.
   
   
3. Instead of gaming,do things that will benefit you in the real world. Pick up these skills, Coding,Photoshop,CAD/CAM software. All of these can bring you over to building a career & all of them especially CAD/CAM & Coding makes tons of money. Learn to build websites. You will far greater benefit from putting your time into these. Next step will be a must including methods if you need to get off the pc completely.
   
   
4. Focus on your body and mind. Work out... It is the biggest thing that saved me. I used to be very athletic & I have won state championships for fighting. When my experimentation started I didn't value these at all anymore. I stopped working out,Stopped going to practice. I even dropped out of my varsity swimming team. Once I decided I'm going to stop I started focusing on working out again, You do not need a gym membership if you can not afford it. Check out youtube videos on calisthenics, Home work outs, anytime & anywhere. You will see such a huge improvement not only in your physical self but mentally which was key for me. I stopped being anxious and tense all the time. I felt more confident in myself, I was able to have conversations with people & genuinely care what they have to say. They even said they can see the focus that im giving them and thank me.
   
   
5. Nutrition... This is also a MAJOR KEY (Insert DJ KHALID) both to your body and mind including #4 which i mentioned. Our bodies are like machines, Put shit gas and oil in a car get shit results. Chicken,Turkey,some times steak for certain nutrients. Rice & Fish. Stay away from junk food & processed foods as much as you can. Vegetables are also key for keeping your digestive tract right. Interesting fact if you dont know, a lot of your mood after the drugs comes from how healthy your gut is. Keep it clean & take probiotic foods/supps. While these are later on in the process and if you can afford them. Food ones would be anything that is fermented. Kafir,Sauerkraut,Kimchi,etc.
   
   
6. GET EMPLOYED, Do something & make money. Make honest money, do honest actions. You might not always get praised for it but guess what, this is the real world and thats just how life is. When you do right by yourself & others, you will feel a sense of self accomplishment. If you ever get stuck where you have a decision to make whether to go back to your old ways or not, Think these thoughts "How many days have I done right & been clean? Why waste all the effort now? Its not worth it." Push through! Thats how i did it. I always told myself, why waste 5 days,10 days,30days, 6 months went by, then a year. I feel that every man and woman should live by their own set or rules of being a decent human being, for the benefit of others and themselves. Never break those as if your life depended on it.

If you have anymore questions, you can always feel free to pm me.

P.S - You said, you dont know how long this will last etc and that it feels like forever. From my experience it took me over a year and some change to feel better and not think about this situations. Keep yourself busy. Dont keep thinking when is this going to go away. One day youll just start forgetting about it & continue with your life. Really works like that. The issues after is the sneaky thoughts that might come back in your head, which you will have to work on not giving up. Keep in mind, We did this to ourselves or years if not a decade. The habits we've built are not going to go away in months. Wish it was that easy. So don't focus on when and how long, Focus on the tasks at hand. Next biggest advice I can give you is, Get a small writing pad, Write out what you have to do every day or what you have accomplished everyday. Any tasks, doesnt matter if it was brush your teeth, make your bed, look for a job, just write it. Then review. Think about how you can do it better and more efficiently. At the end of the day you will see how much you have accomplished from where you were before (Wake up,Eat small meal,Take a piss or shit & back to the computer for the next however many hours).

 

[Jabberwocky]

^Very useful advice.

You’re going to be OK. For real! You’re so young and your brain will heal. It will just take a little time, something you’re fortunate to have. I bet this spring is going to be a huge turnaround for you if you stay clean, something I imagine won’t be difficult for you due to your concerns.

The thing with needing to look at screens all the time or gaming is not unusual at all. I’d say the majority of young adults are in the same situation you are, but simoky don’t care. You do and are at heightened awareness. I’m not sure what part of the world or states you’re from, but see if there’s a park nearby and when the weather is nice yu can spend the there. A place to chill and read a book, comic books, magazines. If you need your phone or tablet while adjusting that’s OK. Give yourself time. That’s super important.

Also outstanding advice!






I am really enjoying how many awesome people are coming out of the woodwork to participate in SL this holiday season! Awesome :D