i feel it now my end of days this is evidence i was here

​i honestly feel like i am announcing my end of days on this earth and no not a cry for help as way beyond that...help?? isnt that what a doctor does ?? my doctor has a fucked up time with me..........

 

You dont have to read my comment, but I've been trying to figure this site out. I joined in may last year. Crazy how I stumbled onto it. I was googling suicide crap and depression shit. And this site popped up. So, I joined what the hell. Kinda like one of ur posts I read I felt the same way. Who is gonna even read my shit lol. Fuck shit piss cunt bitch bastard. All words, felt good typing it lol. I won't say in front of my kids bc they would know I've lost my mind Haha jk. Anyways, I can relate to this post of yours. But I want to try to lift u up some if I can. Know that you are loved. By many. And you will be in my prayers. It's hard and sucks a lot, and I hardly take my own advice but just dont give up. There is more to your life and it will get better for you��. Sometimes it's like I have not a single ounce of giving a fuck about anything and dont care what happens to me. But then when one of my kids approach me whether it's bc they're hungry or fighting or throwing pig shit at each other lol. I remember why I actually hang on. It's a process. Shit, a long one but you can do it w o ur doctor. Fuck them sometimes is how I feel. Anyways, hope the best for ya.

 

thankyou starfish33 ...btw i tend to read all comments on my posts (that i know about...but sometimes i pop onto a thread , leave a comment then forget...so i don't always get those).....and i really appreciate the love and wise words, yeah, i've decided to just come on here and let loose as its more healthy then letting loose in public places which.....to my utter shame...i did the other day....but today is a new day...and today i won't go out....so i won't shout rude words when im pissed off.....i too have 2 kids and they have seen me in ways that they shouldn't but....on a plus side...i was probably my very own accidental impulsive 'anti drugs campaign' for them....tho my son came home yesterday and asked me what i would do if i found him smoking cannabis.....i told him, quite honestly...that i would most likely take it off him and smoke it myself....he chastized me that i should tell him off 'like normal parents'...then in the next breath he was saying how cool i am coz i wouldn't be like 'normal parents'...i am definately not 'normal parent'....but i do love my kids dearly and desperately and i do not want them to feel any of what i had to feel growing up....my 9 year old daughter had a bad day at school yesterday as she was picking apart some display a teacher did so the teacher made her stay in at lunch and write a sorry letter.....my daughter is a student counsellor at school and is primarily motivated by positive re-inforcement and to be told off really devastated her and this teacher is new.....so my son (who walks her to school for breakfast club in the mornings before walking to his own school) was going to take some tin foil and a glue stick in an envelope to pass on to her daft arse stupid cunt bastard teacher to get a fucking message accross.....in fact i was on the verge of marching down to her school myself to speak to mrs muunchshit (or mrs minchin cunt fuck)....but my daughter was there when i marched into the doctors surgery and called them all useless fucking cunts before storming out....i doubt she wanted the same to be done at her school.....i ramble...i know...its what i do...but thankyou my lovely starfish for your supportive words and they really have made a difference xx