R
Ratanak
Guest
I'm a 23 years old male college student, been single for the past six months and haven't been involved with anyone since. The problem I have is that I come off as intimidating– I'm tall, and generally fairly quiet (although I know how to socialize), and I have a strange reputation because of who my family is. Without going into too many details, my father is a very controversial public figure who caused a shit-storm on campus when he came to speak last year, and he is still a frequent discussion topic today in classes and in the school newspaper. Consequently, people sometimes don't know how to approach me because I'm associated with that notoriety.
The thing is that I'm about to graduate and I wouldn't mind finding a fling in my last couple months here, but people I don't know too well (not just girls) tend to ice up around me until they've been around me for awhile (then they usually think I'm cool). Furthermore, people usually find me intriguing and interesting to talk to because I have a variety of life experiences that I won't go into right now. So I have good people skills when it comes to making friends, am not a bore, and I'm reasonably cute. The problem is that if I meet a girl who is cool and good looking, my inclination is to make myself seem harmless so she's not intimidated by me (i.e. I'll talk about my sister's upcoming wedding or my new niece or something like that). But by appearing harmless, I'm effectively emasculating myself it seems.
I feel unable to express myself sexually or romantically, even if I sense an invitation from a girl to try. In essence, I'm hard to approach, and I find that girls generally don't want to be hit on by guys who they themselves feel uncomfortable approaching. I'm also good at ultimately assuring girls that I am a good guy, but I do so at the expense of my masculinity.
Thus, my questions are:
Girls: Am I correct to say that women don't want to be approached by guys they themselves would feel odd approaching?
Guys: For those who can relate, how do you go about appearing non-threatening while still feeling sexy?
Question for everyone: Could all of this be in my head? Could it just be that I have an out of whack ego?
The thing is that I'm about to graduate and I wouldn't mind finding a fling in my last couple months here, but people I don't know too well (not just girls) tend to ice up around me until they've been around me for awhile (then they usually think I'm cool). Furthermore, people usually find me intriguing and interesting to talk to because I have a variety of life experiences that I won't go into right now. So I have good people skills when it comes to making friends, am not a bore, and I'm reasonably cute. The problem is that if I meet a girl who is cool and good looking, my inclination is to make myself seem harmless so she's not intimidated by me (i.e. I'll talk about my sister's upcoming wedding or my new niece or something like that). But by appearing harmless, I'm effectively emasculating myself it seems.
I feel unable to express myself sexually or romantically, even if I sense an invitation from a girl to try. In essence, I'm hard to approach, and I find that girls generally don't want to be hit on by guys who they themselves feel uncomfortable approaching. I'm also good at ultimately assuring girls that I am a good guy, but I do so at the expense of my masculinity.
Thus, my questions are:
Girls: Am I correct to say that women don't want to be approached by guys they themselves would feel odd approaching?
Guys: For those who can relate, how do you go about appearing non-threatening while still feeling sexy?
Question for everyone: Could all of this be in my head? Could it just be that I have an out of whack ego?
