I stopped by a smoke shop I used to buy bath salts from about 7 months ago to grab a pack of smokes, and the owner told me he has brand new "glass cleaner" that is way better than the old formula. My heart dropped in my stomach and I was glad I only had 6 bucks to pay for the smokes. However, I have more money and have to go right by that shop tomorrow for work....it's really wierd how my brain is working. Like, I've already told myself "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna get it and use it while I'm at work and have a great time" and the euphoric recall is really strong. However, I don't want to at the same time. Am I crazy? I Don't know wtf to do.
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I don't want to use tomorrow
- Thread starter LOGan1314
- Start date
cj
Bluelight Crew
Try taking a different route to wok that doesnt go by the shop. Plus it probably wont be better than the old shit its probably worse and more dangerous. I mean most of the good chemicals have been banned all thats left are the shit ones and the extremely untested IMO.
RobotRipping
Bluelighter
^lol it's possible but unlikely. I mean you are getting your stuff from a guy at a shop who sells 'glass cleaner' if there is something new and wonderful out, he would be the last person to know about it. And also the last person you should trust about such things as he has a vested interest in you buying it. Remember that whatever high it is, it is garbage and possibly dangerous for you. There's no quality control or safety regulations ensuring the product is safe and tested, so no matter what, it's just not safe to use.
if there are really great chems coming out then do some research and figure out what they are. If you absolutely must, get the pure substances and not the strange mix of the who knows what powder that is bath salts.
i can relate to your thinking though. Once that thought is in my head (that i'm going to get a drug), it's pleasurable to even think it all out and the anticipation.. these are things every addict can relate to.
if there are really great chems coming out then do some research and figure out what they are. If you absolutely must, get the pure substances and not the strange mix of the who knows what powder that is bath salts.
i can relate to your thinking though. Once that thought is in my head (that i'm going to get a drug), it's pleasurable to even think it all out and the anticipation.. these are things every addict can relate to.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
Just remember that you control your drug use, not the contrary. It's all your choice, the drug can't force you to take it. You'll feel so much better about yourself inthe long-run if you ignore this 'opportunity'. I agree you should maybe try taking a different route to work.
pyshcocentric
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2012
- Messages
- 93
Hey bro, your not crazy! that is the way stimulants work, it is very mentally addicting for LONG periods of time, even after you stop. Dependent on how long you used prior to the abstinence, you could have trouble with this "self control".
(our situation is slightly different)
I know how you feel, i use methamphetamine, started because i ran out of Adderal and the only thing available in my area is crystal meth... well now im about 2 months down the road... i told my self i was goin to stop after 3 days, 7 days MAXIMUM.. well still goin.. i often feel how you do. When i come to the end of my supply im glad it almost gone because i really dont wanna use it, but ill say "good almost gone, after this im taking a break", next thing i know im smoking it up, literally. its hard to overcome the mental addiction.
the way i think of it is like its like your conscious and subconscious, are out of control... "you dont want to use it, but yet you have already made up your mind"...
the way i try to explain it to people that dont understand and say "dude, just stop doing it! its as simple as that" (or something along those lines) i say " i can be sonsciously thinking how much i dont want to use, and that its bad. and in the same moment ill be lighting a bowl"
(our situation is slightly different)
I know how you feel, i use methamphetamine, started because i ran out of Adderal and the only thing available in my area is crystal meth... well now im about 2 months down the road... i told my self i was goin to stop after 3 days, 7 days MAXIMUM.. well still goin.. i often feel how you do. When i come to the end of my supply im glad it almost gone because i really dont wanna use it, but ill say "good almost gone, after this im taking a break", next thing i know im smoking it up, literally. its hard to overcome the mental addiction.
the way i think of it is like its like your conscious and subconscious, are out of control... "you dont want to use it, but yet you have already made up your mind"...
the way i try to explain it to people that dont understand and say "dude, just stop doing it! its as simple as that" (or something along those lines) i say " i can be sonsciously thinking how much i dont want to use, and that its bad. and in the same moment ill be lighting a bowl"
gay.in.texas
Bluelighter
OP and pyshcocentric, your situations both sound very difficult. anytime i have gone a little to far with a stimulant, i try to remember that anytime i have stopped a stimulant binge, it sucks, undoubtedly, depression, fatigue, for me headache... but there is a tiny bit of feeling like you just won a moral victory and can finally catch your breathe. not that it helps the immediate issues, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. i know that stopping seems incredibly daunting, even if its only subconscious, but just know that if you want to you can, and i will be here (as i suspect many other on bluelight will be) to support you and offer aid if possible.