Druidus
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2006
- Messages
- 596
Anyone else have an experience similar to this? I started smoking cannabis when I was ~16. It immediately changed my life, in many ways, both good and bad. I was immediately able to enjoy food again, which had been an ongoing issue of concern for me. I suddenly became far more social, learning skills for dealing with others that still help me today. It caused a lot of problems with my parents, and, to be honest, it probably diverted my attention from more "important" things.
I went to university, and while I was there I experimented with dozens of other substances. I've done literally everything under the sun, save the myriad RCs. Unfortunately, I got addicted to intravenous hydromorphone. This lasted some four years, before I quit using with the aid of poppy seed tea. My life was ruled by the needle. This is no longer the case; a fact for which I feel great pleasure.
Through those nine or so years from starting my experimentation, all the way through uni and my opiate addiction, through multiple relationships, and for every unlisted set of trials and tribulations, cannabis was there. Damn, but I just fucking love the stuff. It helped me through so many bad places I can't even begin to describe it. During my opiate addiction, for instance, it damn near saved my life (the poppy seeds certainly did).
But I have come to an interesting crossroad in my life... I no longer seem to need cannabis like I used to. For almost nine years, I hadn't gone for more than 6-7 days without cannabis (and those days were hell). The thought of not having cannabis would give me killer anxiety, and I felt like it was a necessary component of every day. I simply could not function properly without the stuff. I needed it almost like I needed my IV opiates when I was addicted.
And yet, I have now gone roughly 2.5-4 weeks without cannabis (well, to be fair, a friend gave me exactly two tokes once somewhere in there). It wasn't even really hard in the beginning. I just didn't smoke it. And I seem to not care about that. It took me nine years, but I finally don't have the cannabis fixation I always used to deal with.
I feel like one chapter in my life is ending, and a new story is to be writ in the coming pages. I don't think I'm really much better off for not smoking it (except my wallet), but it's still nice to not have that craving always in the back of my mind. I used to stay high almost 24/7, but sobriety has it's interesting facets to explore as well, I find.
I needed it then, and it was there. And if I need it again, it'll be there. But I do not need it, now. This might not sound astonishing, but to me, it really is.
Anyone else have an experience like this? Needing cannabis almost desperately for a long period of time (with or without other psychoactives), and then coming to a point where that need just dies off? I wish I knew why it happened, but I just can't put my finger on it.
I'll always love you, cannabis. And when I visit with you, on occasion, we'll chill and relive the old times. You'll always be in my very soul, my essence. But, alas, I must bid you farewell, I'll not be seeing you anymore, at least certainly not in the same manner.
I went to university, and while I was there I experimented with dozens of other substances. I've done literally everything under the sun, save the myriad RCs. Unfortunately, I got addicted to intravenous hydromorphone. This lasted some four years, before I quit using with the aid of poppy seed tea. My life was ruled by the needle. This is no longer the case; a fact for which I feel great pleasure.
Through those nine or so years from starting my experimentation, all the way through uni and my opiate addiction, through multiple relationships, and for every unlisted set of trials and tribulations, cannabis was there. Damn, but I just fucking love the stuff. It helped me through so many bad places I can't even begin to describe it. During my opiate addiction, for instance, it damn near saved my life (the poppy seeds certainly did).
But I have come to an interesting crossroad in my life... I no longer seem to need cannabis like I used to. For almost nine years, I hadn't gone for more than 6-7 days without cannabis (and those days were hell). The thought of not having cannabis would give me killer anxiety, and I felt like it was a necessary component of every day. I simply could not function properly without the stuff. I needed it almost like I needed my IV opiates when I was addicted.
And yet, I have now gone roughly 2.5-4 weeks without cannabis (well, to be fair, a friend gave me exactly two tokes once somewhere in there). It wasn't even really hard in the beginning. I just didn't smoke it. And I seem to not care about that. It took me nine years, but I finally don't have the cannabis fixation I always used to deal with.
I feel like one chapter in my life is ending, and a new story is to be writ in the coming pages. I don't think I'm really much better off for not smoking it (except my wallet), but it's still nice to not have that craving always in the back of my mind. I used to stay high almost 24/7, but sobriety has it's interesting facets to explore as well, I find.
I needed it then, and it was there. And if I need it again, it'll be there. But I do not need it, now. This might not sound astonishing, but to me, it really is.
Anyone else have an experience like this? Needing cannabis almost desperately for a long period of time (with or without other psychoactives), and then coming to a point where that need just dies off? I wish I knew why it happened, but I just can't put my finger on it.
I'll always love you, cannabis. And when I visit with you, on occasion, we'll chill and relive the old times. You'll always be in my very soul, my essence. But, alas, I must bid you farewell, I'll not be seeing you anymore, at least certainly not in the same manner.
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