I don't know what to do

[2manyopiates]

I'm really at a crossroads right now and it's becoming a lot for me to cope with. When I was about 15 years old I met a highschool junior who pretty much took myself and another freshmen under his wing and opened us up to so many experiences. A lot of experiences that I value very very much. We weren't exactly outcasts, but we were just the kids that didn't really fit in with the other kids, we were all kind of awkward. So anyways, I was a complete stiff before we formed this group. I was seriously uneducated on a lot of things i'm very familiar with now.

Anyway, it's 3 years later now and my problem is that this guy that is pretty much like an older brother to me is into a warped morphine addiction. It all progressed right in front of my eyes and i've just been completely oblivious to the seriousness and reality of the growing situation.

What started off as popping some percs grew to popping OCs, grew to snorting OCS/Kadian, grew to wrapping our arms up and IVing. Now he's completely dependent on IV morph, we can't have a good time if we aren't doing it because he's sick. I've had the best time of my life smoking bud with this guy and just chilling out and now we don't have that anymore. If we're hanging out, he's nodding or sick or just OK.

But it's even more warped. He's completely suffering from depression. He has a lot of family problems (i did go into detail, but erased this due to worrying about someone i know identifying him idk) and he has a lot of personal issues and very traumatising past issues that i couldn't even begin to go into.

I moved a few months ago and it's just getting worse and worse every time I see him. I know my friends going to die if he keeps this up. He calls me talking about how nobody would miss him if he were gone, and how he just wants to end it and would if it wasn't for me and my other friend. This isn't a cry for attention, trust me, he's serious.

But how the fuck do I go about helping this situation? I've wrapped my arm up RIGHT BESIDE HIM on multiple occasions. But i'm not an addict in the same sense... I love IV opiates, but amazingly i've managed not to get sucked in to a full blown addiction. How? I don't fucking know. I'm to nervous to go buy rigs on my own, I hate being sick, I hate spending all my money. I only use occasionally IV unless i'm with him. I guess i'm an addict in the sense that I wouldn't mind a shot right now after writing this.

Also, he's not safe at all. He shoots up the milkiest kadian solutions. I tell him that he's going to lose an arm and he just shrugs it off like he doesn't give a fuck.

I don't know what to do, i'm hurting for my fallen friend. I want him back, he has changed so much going deeper into this addiction. I still see the shine in him, but I don't think many others do. I feel like it's up to me to save his life, because nobody else is taking the inscentive to do so and I couldn't live with myself if he died and I could've somehow prevented it.

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my post and give me advice, you guys are great bluelight and i'm sorry for any pointless rambling in my post.

 

[K-Dazed]

I read this, but as I've never dealt with anyone who has had an addiction to opiates nor been addicted myself I'm not sure what I can say. I do wish both you and him luck though, and I sincerely hope he gets better

 

[sid3]

This is the kind of situation that methadone clinics are for, your friend needs help now. Get him to a clinic, the manditory meetings may be really helpful in dealing with his issues you spoke about.It sounds like he wouldn't be a god candidate for sub at this point. It's admirable that you want t help him out, if he doesn't want to help hmself you know there isn't much you can do. It's a shitty situation, maybe you can get him to get clean with you, not judging your use, just saying at some point your using will get as bad. Things never get better while we keep using, they only get worse. Good luck.

 

[2manyopiates]

Thank you for your personal concern for me as well. I am a very drug dependent person, but I enjoy marijuana so much that I manage to at worst binge on opiates and then go through week+ clean streaks. I think that's a lot better managed than other users. I think if my friend got clean i'd make efforts to get clean as well.

He's already tried the clinic, he didn't stay and then went thru methadone w/d's. I don't know how to convince him getting clean is worth it when he really doesnt' have any motivation or anything similar?

 

[2manyopiates]

Still in need of advice, bluelight. The situation is just getting worse and worse. I know many of you don't have the answers, but some support would be at least appreciated...

 

[chris2512]

No choice but to use

Toomanyopiates, your friend has got to want help for himself. I'm so sorry that you can't do it for him. I really am.

You say that you're an addict, and that's a designation that everyone has to make for himself. However, as an opiate addict, I can understand your friend's using... perfectly. Unlike you, he and I can't just use when we WANT to, even before we become physically addicted. Our heads won't let us use ONLY when it would make us feel good but not when it would make us physically dependent.

However, like you, we don't like being sick. We don't want to spend all our money. We don't want to throw our lives away. However, unlike what you seem to be able to do, we can't NOT use dope even if it means being sick, spending all our money, and throwing our lives away.

What's typical for the addict is that the pain of using has to be greater than the pain of quitting. The problem is that even though the pain of using is extremely great, our disease (addiction) makes us forget it so quickly after having gotten our fix. When we're not jonesing, we are totally convinced that we can quit. We JUST KNOW that the next time that we need dope, we'll say, "Nope. No more. I'm done." Then, we go friggin' nuts trying not to use, until we finally give in and use, vowing that it will be the last time.

When your friend has had enough, he'll quit (unless he dies first). I'm so sorry to tell you that. But, it's the way it is. For me, I've taken the avenue of making quitting easier (so that the pain of quitting is less than the pain of using). I'm on Suboxone. Still, it's a struggle. I'm not using today. I didn't use yesterday. I pray that I won't use tomorrow.

I'm glad that your friend has someone like you. However, the most that you can do is to keep encouraging him to get into recovery before his disease takes him to the grave (I will warn you, however. If he gets into recovery, you might not want to hang around with him. He won't be able to party. An addict simply doesn't have that kind of choice in his life, even though we may wish that we did.)

 

[beagleboy]

I dont think that you should have to approach your own person TooManyOP. I too used to experiiment with Opiates. Tied up next to my two best friends at times. I never really understood how you could get seriously addicted as they psychologicaly became before my eyes. They were always wanting to IV heroin. And my DOC was crack at the time.
My point is, drugs are good. Enjoyable to the right person in the right setting. I think you already know this.
Is your friend commiting crimes in order to score? Its jail sooner or later IMO. This could take years/decades though. In jail/prison he'd get clean, have his M connection cut off.

 

[Georgie25]

(I will warn you, however. If he gets into recovery, you might not want to hang around with him. He won't be able to party. An addict simply doesn't have that kind of choice in his life, even though we may wish that we did.)

This is so true. I've lost many long friendships getting clean. Ijust cant hang around people who still use drugs (weed included) if i want to suceed in my life.

 

[TriggerHappy]

you need to make your friend understand that a lot of the depression and suicidal thoughts that he is feeling, comes from the chemical imbalance that the drug is creating. in other words, if he amasses any significant amount of clean time, he will feel SO MUCH better.

then, he needs to address the underlying issues through therapy... honestly, the 12 steps are great for writing out your resentments, making amends + peace with the past... and it's all free.

this is easier said than done, i know. you just have to convince him to give sobriety a chance. without some small faith in something, the guy hasn't got much of a chance