I don't know if I should end things or wait and see

[kayladelmo]

The guy I'm dating is nice, smart, polite. We've been dating for about three weeks and we hang out all the time. But lately I've been getting bored. Does this mean we don't have "chemistry"? I suppose I'm kind of waiting for that spark between us. Usually when I like a guy I feel really excited and happy(every guy I have liked in the past has used me/treated me badly)... but this time it's different. We were friends first. I enjoy spending time with him but I don't feel a rush of excitement when I think about him. Is this normal during the beginning of a relationship?

I don't know if it matters but when I started dating him I was NOT looking for a relationship of any kind, I had been previously working on my self-esteem and insecurity issues for a long time and am doing pretty well in that, still working on it. I am not really experienced in dating, I mean I've dated several guys in the past but none of them have treated me respectfully like this guy does.

 

[Lysis]

Hi there, kayladelmo.

Is this your first relationship? To be honest, usually, when the relationship is new, you want to be with each other all the time.

The main thing you have to remember is that not every guy you date or see is going to be a fit for you, and that is OK. Some people are lucky enough to find that special person with the first guy they date, but lots of us need to date around first. If there is no chemistry, then it's just not there, and you can't force it. Doesn't make you a horrible person, and it doesn't make him a bad guy. It just means you guys aren't a right fit. Nothing wrong with that, but you should talk and break off the seriousness of the friendship, if you just don't feel it. You don't want to lead him on.

It will be hard continuing the friendship, but after the initial hurt feelings or shock are over with, you can continue being friends.

Also, a lot of times, if you just aren't feeling it that much, he probably isn't either, so it might be a mutual break.

 

[Tude]

Sound like you've friend-zoned him. Honestly, he deserves to be with someone who's exited to be with him, and you deserve someone who excites you. Do both of y'all a favor and break it off now before it gets too far along. Good luck!