I did it, you can too...

[Flo-Rida]

Note: Before you read this, please realize that I'm not trying to convince anyone to quit what their doing. I'm not your daddy and I'm not here to judge. I want to share my (partial) success story in hopes that people who are going through what I went through and legitimately WANT to quit Oxy can now see that it's not the end of the world.

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SORRY ABOUT THE LENGTH!


First a small intro... My name is Ryan, 23 years old and live in the sucky state of Florida. I'm semi-happily (lol) married, have a gorgeous 2 year old son and a steady career in the IT (computers) field and I've been in this career since my son was born. I have my problems and hard times like everyone else, but for the most part my life is pretty decent.

Now to the drugs... I've been doing Oxy for almost 3 years now. Can't remember how or why I started, but like most people I became quickly addicted to the "feel good" feeling of Oxy and after a while it turned into I was only taking it just to feel "normal."

Unfortunately for me, I don't have many friends and have ZERO friends that do drugs. Living a life like this is hard for 2 reasons: (1) I constantly have to keep my Oxy use a secret and (2) finding people to get the Oxy from is hard. During the course of 3 years of abuse, I've gone through about 7 different dealers and up until now I only have 2 active people I can get it from and because of the Oxy "drought" in Florida, it's still hard to come by.

When I first started Oxy it was fairly easy to get, and the times were good %). Money was pretty stable, pills were cheap enough, and the addiction (I felt) wasn't fully in control. As time went on and I purchased more and more, we ran out of money more quickly. Like most people I started doing whatever I could to get money to feed my addiction, from stealing and selling stuff to borrowing it from family with promises of paying it back later. During the first year I was dosing fairly high, at least 150mg a day, up to over 280mg (and I take the 30mg pills).

Now, before I quit, things got so hard that I was lucky to get 90mg a day and I fought hard just to get that. Between coming up with the money and finding someone who actually had them, I was forced into withdrawals almost every week like clockwork. I'd be good for a few days and then boom... either no money or my dealers ran out of pills. Next thing you know I'm suffering, and I did this REPEATEDLY.

So anyway... about 1 year ago I purchased 2 8mg Suboxone tablets from a dealer in hopes to make an attempt to quit, and I never did. I forgot about the Suboxone I had up until this past weekend.

My last dose of Oxy was this past Saturday at around 6pm when I snorted my last 30mg. My quitting wasn't immediately by choice, it started out as I just couldn't get my hands on more Oxy. I could already feel W/D symptoms starting after just 12 hours into Sunday morning. As Sunday night creeped up and I hit the 24 hour mark without Oxy the W/D's got worse and included:

Runny Nose
Diarrhea
Urinating Frequently
Leg Cramps
RLS (restless leg syndrome)
Back Pain
Constant Yawning
Constant Stretching
Teary Eyes
Mental Anguish (cravings)
Stomach Pain/Cramps
and Anger

At around 10pm I was getting desperate and my mind was racing. I then realized that I had these Suboxone tablets hidden upstairs . I quickly ran up and grabbed the bottle, but noticed a half of one was missing from when I took a half 7 months ago to stave off W/D's. After doing some quick research on the Internet and confirming my findings on 4 different websites I learned that the dosage of Suboxone I needed to take was 4mg, so I basically had 3 doses of Suboxone on me.

I took the half a pill that was in the bottle and put it under my tongue and let it dissolve for 15 minutes as Suboxone's official website describes. The website said it would take UP TO 20 minutes to dissolve and then UP TO another 20-30 minutes to kick in completely. I'm a big guy (5'10" and 250lbs) so I knew I probably had another 50 minutes to an hour before I felt ANY relief.

The entire time that pill was in my mouth I was skeptical. I was also worried about the possibility of a dealer coming through. Now I took Suboxone and I can't jump right back into Oxy (FYI... if you take Oxy with Suboxone still in your system the Suboxone will block the opiate from working, thus you just wasted the Oxy.) But I stuck in there and tried to be as optimistic as possible.

After the pill dissolved I went for a smoke and started counting the minutes, after about 20 minutes I could start to feel something...


The first withdrawal symptom to go was the craving. My mind felt relieved and I stopped thinking about getting more Oxy. Shortly after that my RLS went away and my legs stopped shaking. Then my back pain subsided, then the runny nose started to dry up. I found myself able to focus more clearly and move around more easily. The last withdrawal symptom to go away was the leg cramps and this was SUCH a relief, you have no idea.

After the W/D's went away I remember my wife asked me to run to Walgreens to get something and I gladly went. I remember I was so happy about feeling "normal" and NOT being on Oxy that I was singing love songs in the car on the way there, specifically the song "If It's Love" by Train. (In my defense I only had my wife's CD's in the car)

This morning (Monday) I took another dose of Suboxone on my way to work, however I was not feeling any W/D's after I woke up. But I wanted to make sure I could get through my day, and this is how a doctor would of told me to take it anyway. Now it's 1:42pm and I still feel perfectly FINE. Every now and again I catch my mind slipping and thinking about the Oxy, but it's under control. I have NO pain and my legs feel fine. I feel motivated and have been working steady all day and I even had a big lunch, which is rare for me even though I'm a big guy... the Oxy really does suppress your appetite. I'm going to take the last does of Suboxone tonight and I'm hoping that come tomorrow, everything will be OK... but of course I can't say for sure.



Long (long) story short, I'm now 42 hours without Oxy! I did it all with just 3 doses of Suboxone and little willpower. No doctors, no rehab, no suffering.

I honestly feel so good about the transfer from Oxy to Suboxone that once the Suboxone leaves my system, I feel I could go back to taking Oxy every once in a while and easily quit it whenever I wanted to. However, not sure if I'll do this or not as relapsing does weigh quilt on the mind.


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I hope some of you enjoy this little rant of mine and hopefully a few people will follow in my footsteps. But whatever path you choose, best of luck to you and yours.

 

[K'd-OUT-in-AZ]

I was able to quit oxycodone through Suboxone maintenance (after a stint with methadone). From your story it sounds like Suboxone maintenance, versus detox, may for you. I say this because it sounds like Suboxone works for you but when it wears off you still have problems thinking about the oxycodone and suffer (mental) withdrawals.

Maintenance is better for patients that have a strong psychological addiction and it sounds like you certainly do. Detox is better for relieving the physical withdrawals quickly. Some people still have strong cravings with an easy chance of relapse. They need maintenance. If you were to go then you'd be put on the correct dose to defeat your constant cravings. You may need a higher dose than you take to get rid of the withdrawals.

Remember that you've only gone 42 hours and thats all because of "3 doses" of Suboxone (the entire effects can last up to 48 hours; it has a long half-life). When that wears off you'll go back to craving just as much as you were before. And by the way, you won't be able to go back to using every now and then and quit when you want. Your addicted to it. After one dose you'll crave more for another and it won't be easy to quit when you want unless you have more Suboxone which will be gone sooner or later.

 

[Mr_Fluffykins]

the dealer had suboxone? so he was helping people quit

 

[edgewise1]

I would look to get a few more suboxone and use them over the next few days and taper the dose at the end.

As far as using oxy again with the idea you can control it? DON'T! You can't control it.

 

[Flo-Rida]

the dealer had suboxone? so he was helping people quit

Well, it was by request. I was doing research on it at the time and asked him if he could get me a couple.

 

[Flo-Rida]

I would look to get a few more suboxone and use them over the next few days and taper the dose at the end.

As far as using oxy again with the idea you can control it? DON'T! You can't control it.

Unfortunately I don't know anyone with more Suboxone. I know a guy who could possibly get my Subutex, which is like the same thing, but trust me this would be a hassle.

Like I said in my post, I have one more dose of Suboxone available for me to take tonight, probably about 8pm or so.

It's now 5:16pm (still at work, boooo!) but I've surprisingly lasted all with little to no Oxy cravings on just 4mg of Suboxone in the morning. It really is a miracle drug for some people, especially me.

 

[nioreh0422]

I was able to quit oxycodone through Suboxone maintenance (after a stint with methadone). From your story it sounds like Suboxone maintenance, versus detox, may for you. I say this because it sounds like Suboxone works for you but when it wears off you still have problems thinking about the oxycodone and suffer (mental) withdrawals.

Maintenance is better for patients that have a strong psychological addiction and it sounds like you certainly do. Detox is better for relieving the physical withdrawals quickly. Some people still have strong cravings with an easy chance of relapse. They need maintenance. If you were to go then you'd be put on the correct dose to defeat your constant cravings. You may need a higher dose than you take to get rid of the withdrawals.

Remember that you've only gone 42 hours and thats all because of "3 doses" of Suboxone (the entire effects can last up to 48 hours; it has a long half-life). When that wears off you'll go back to craving just as much as you were before. And by the way, you won't be able to go back to using every now and then and quit when you want. Your addicted to it. After one dose you'll crave more for another and it won't be easy to quit when you want unless you have more Suboxone which will be gone sooner or later.

yeah you're going to be sick again once the sub's wear off, you haven't been off the oxy long enough to where you're past the physical wd's symptoms, once the subs wear off you'll be right back where you were. Good Luck!!

 

[Nexius]

Suboxone is stupid, like methadone taht long long long half life will fuck you royally in the end (even if you taper down)

It's easier to detox off heroin cuz the intensity is much shorter than that of 'done or subs...

 

[K'd-OUT-in-AZ]

Suboxone is stupid, like methadone taht long long long half life will fuck you royally in the end (even if you taper down)

It's easier to detox off heroin cuz the intensity is much shorter than that of 'done or subs...

I disagree. I detoxed off of Suboxone after being on it for 1.5 years I simply tapered myself off it and I experienced very little withdrawals. Just some insomnia and a little muscle pain. The only reason why I was on it for so long because I never thought about going off until the last few months. I've been clean (from opiates) for 6 months, no cravings. Have you been on Suboxone maintenance or just judging it by assumption?

Heroin and oxycodone were bitches to withdrawal from, I'd be puking, jumping legs off the wall and shit...literally by the second (heroin) and third (oxycodone) day. I never had the ability to taper from them either. I obviously did not stay clean after going through the withdrawals. Would take about a week or two.

Remember everyone is different, or at least not everyone is the same.

 

[hellocatastrophe]

i wouldn't take that last dose tonight if you can help it.
another thing i would personally do is cut that last 4mg up.
try taking only 1mg tonight (if you must) or tomorrow and see how it does you.
then the next day try .5mg and so on.
this way you aren't jumping from a 4mg last dose of suboxone which is pretty damn high.
with suboxone's long half life, there's more than you would think still in your system.

i don't have time right this second to post more of what i wanted to say but i will be back shortly. i really just wanted to catch you before you dosed again tonight. if you have already dosed 4mg today, i strongly recommend not taking anymore today unless you feel like you are truly going to die.

be back soon!
and, good job so far!

 

[xxallgoodxx]

I agree with K'd out.
Who wants to wake up sick every single morning until you get a bag? I quit H 2 years ago with the help of Methadone, and it is possible to quit without going to rehab. You just have to change your environment and really want to quit. No one can force someone to quit unless the person wants to himself / herself.


To the OP, I would try to make that last pill last as long as possible. Don't take any more Suboxone until you start getting sick and take 1/4 or an 1/8 (assuming it is an 8mg) depending on how sick you feel. Everyone's different. Good Luck!

edit: Nevermind, seeing that you already took all of your Suboxone. You haven't even gone into WD from the Suboxone, and you're already thinking you can go back to Oxy and keep it under control. You have a rude awakening coming...

 

[fm1983]

Not being a douche, but you have a long way to go on your journey to sobriety. Yes the suboxone is working wonders, but once that is out what do you plan on doing? You still are going to experience some discomfort when the suboxone runs out, and PAWS is going to be a bitch as well.

And there is no way you are going to be able to go back to using oxy and keeping it under control, it doesn't work like that. If it did don't you think we would all do it? Sure you could keep it under control for a little, but eventually you are going to be right back to where you are. Besides, if you are happy on suboxone, why not go get a doctor and use it for maintenance? It's going to be much cheaper then your oxy habit, and you will live much happier not worrying about scoring and having your life revolve around oxy.

Also, I would recommend you snort them versus sublingually ( I have to take over double my snorted dose when taken sublingually). By dosing that way, I can make a single suboxone tablet last me 5 days. I use suboxone daily (with a habit and timeframe nearly identical to yours) and use roughly 1mg a day that way. I feel it's a waste any other way and it allows me to keep my dosing very low.

I am happy you have taken the initiative to move on from oxy and start on the journey to sobriety, but it's not going to be as easy as you are making it out to be. If the suboxone works well, and you have trouble once your supply runs out, I would look into suboxone maintenance and use it to learn to live a life of "sobriety" and then taper yourself off. (myself currently doing).

Check out the suboxone mega-threads in the OD forum (& archive) for a lot of great information and stories from us on it.

GOOD LUCK! And PM if you want to talk about subxone and get some more info about how the maintenance process works, and my usage and schedule on it. I'm on AIM as well, so hit me up there too.

 

[hellocatastrophe]

To the OP, I would try to make that last pill last as long as possible. Don't take any more Suboxone until you start getting sick and take 1/4 or an 1/8 (assuming it is an 8mg) depending on how sick you feel. Everyone's different. Good Luck!

this.
if you're feeling good and//or your symptoms are manageable, wait to dose any further. you'd also be surprised how little suboxone you could probably get by on. i also suggest making that last bit that you have last as long as you can (however, since you're using it only to detox i wouldn't take it longer than 14 days to avoid potential dependency).

i personally find that insufflating my suboxone works wonders for me. i need at least double my dose when i take it sublingually. the bioavailability is also higher nasally so it helps to stretch what i have when i really need it. i generally use 1.25-2mg my first day after an oxycodone binge and the following days will literally sniff ~10 crumbs 2-3x daily (depending) when i'm sick, and it truly saves my life. now that you have some built up in your system, you should need much less than 4mg. buprenorphine is actually extremely potent, so jumping from a last dose of 4mg could be tortuous. because buprenorphine is indeed an opiate (even if not a full agonist), you would still want to wean yourself down to as low as possible before abruptly stopping.

on another note-
i certainly would not tell someone they need maintenance before they have tried to detox. everyone is different and willpower alone is one hell of a force. i would definitely suggest trying a detox process before automatically beginning maintenance. the longer a substance is used, the harder it will be to get off of later down the road. with the right support group and lifestyle changes, it can be done. not everyone will suffer from paws either. because all of the OPs friends are not drug users and his sources have become limited, this will help him greatly.

as for now and then using once you've gotten completely clean: it is possible to do though not recommended. because you're probably not going to never touch the stuff again just because some people on a forum told you not to- i am going to suggest (as it's ultimately your decision, i can only give my opinion and tell you what i would do) waiting at least a very minimum of 6 months before using again. i say this long because it is going to take your brain a long time to heal, perhaps even years, so using too early could lead to a very nasty relapse. before you consider using any opiate again, really take time to think about whether or not you will have the willpower to stop once you start. i would suggest to never use consecutive days, so your willpower will be put to the ultimate test. it's too easy to say "just one more day" once you get that taste again. i would also keep it to no more than once a month. if you find that you slip up even one time, take a few months off before trying again. if you do begin a once-a-month routine, keep a look out for a few things: if you start counting down the days until your next months 'dosing day,' take a few month break. if in one month you use twice instead of once, take a few month break. if you start noticing withdrawal symptoms after using only one day, take a few month break. keep in mind that most addicts started off as chippers and failed to realize that they were slipping up and using more frequently.

a good way to help make sure you aren't starting to spiral is to keep a diary once (if) you do decide to start using again. log the first day you use again. jot down how you're feeling in the following days- if your cravings are extreme or non existent, if you're experiencing any withdrawal symptoms or not, how you feel emotionally, etc. if you then plan on using again, write down the earliest date that you would dose. any time you think about getting high in between, log it. then you can look back at what you have written down and decide if using again is a good choice or not. if you look back and see that you had insane cravings and felt crappy following your last dosing day, perhaps tack on a few weeks/months to your next earliest using date. you don't have to plan out your uses, but if you one day start thinking about getting high, you can refer back to the earliest using date and if you feel it would be too soon and end up getting you in trouble, push that date back a bit further. again, if you start counting down the days until the next time- keep pushing that date back. just because you have a date written down does NOT mean you MUST dose this day. if you pass that date without thinking about it or even realizing, you're doing good. i am by NO MEANS guaranteeing that this will prevent a horrid relapse, i am only saying that it could be helpful in preventing the potential.

because you are currently addicted, your brain is accustomed to opiates. using too frequently in the future will cause your brain to expect opiates in excess when you use. this is how rationalizing behavior starts and your mind "tricks" you into using. this is where willpower really comes in to play.

anyway, this post is already like a novel, so i'm done ranting. OP, if you would like to talk further on the subjects of your detox and future, let me know and we can chat via AIM. congratulations on wanting to quit and clean up, you're doing great! i hope that everything works out for you

 

[Nexius]

Not being a douche, but you have a long way to go on your journey to sobriety. Yes the suboxone is working wonders, but once that is out what do you plan on doing? You still are going to experience some discomfort when the suboxone runs out, and PAWS is going to be a bitch as well.

And there is no way you are going to be able to go back to using oxy and keeping it under control, it doesn't work like that. If it did don't you think we would all do it? Sure you could keep it under control for a little, but eventually you are going to be right back to where you are. Besides, if you are happy on suboxone, why not go get a doctor and use it for maintenance? It's going to be much cheaper then your oxy habit, and you will live much happier not worrying about scoring and having your life revolve around oxy.

Also, I would recommend you snort them versus sublingually ( I have to take over double my snorted dose when taken sublingually). By dosing that way, I can make a single suboxone tablet last me 5 days. I use suboxone daily (with a habit and timeframe nearly identical to yours) and use roughly 1mg a day that way. I feel it's a waste any other way and it allows me to keep my dosing very low.

I am happy you have taken the initiative to move on from oxy and start on the journey to sobriety, but it's not going to be as easy as you are making it out to be. If the suboxone works well, and you have trouble once your supply runs out, I would look into suboxone maintenance and use it to learn to live a life of "sobriety" and then taper yourself off. (myself currently doing).

Check out the suboxone mega-threads in the OD forum (& archive) for a lot of great information and stories from us on it.

GOOD LUCK! And PM if you want to talk about subxone and get some more info about how the maintenance process works, and my usage and schedule on it. I'm on AIM as well, so hit me up there too.

This

 

[Flo-Rida]

Not being a douche, but you have a long way to go on your journey to sobriety. Yes the suboxone is working wonders, but once that is out what do you plan on doing? You still are going to experience some discomfort when the suboxone runs out, and PAWS is going to be a bitch as well.

And there is no way you are going to be able to go back to using oxy and keeping it under control, it doesn't work like that. If it did don't you think we would all do it? Sure you could keep it under control for a little, but eventually you are going to be right back to where you are. Besides, if you are happy on suboxone, why not go get a doctor and use it for maintenance? It's going to be much cheaper then your oxy habit, and you will live much happier not worrying about scoring and having your life revolve around oxy.

Also, I would recommend you snort them versus sublingually ( I have to take over double my snorted dose when taken sublingually). By dosing that way, I can make a single suboxone tablet last me 5 days. I use suboxone daily (with a habit and timeframe nearly identical to yours) and use roughly 1mg a day that way. I feel it's a waste any other way and it allows me to keep my dosing very low.

I am happy you have taken the initiative to move on from oxy and start on the journey to sobriety, but it's not going to be as easy as you are making it out to be. If the suboxone works well, and you have trouble once your supply runs out, I would look into suboxone maintenance and use it to learn to live a life of "sobriety" and then taper yourself off. (myself currently doing).

Check out the suboxone mega-threads in the OD forum (& archive) for a lot of great information and stories from us on it.

GOOD LUCK! And PM if you want to talk about subxone and get some more info about how the maintenance process works, and my usage and schedule on it. I'm on AIM as well, so hit me up there too.

Ok, I have good news and bad news for everyone. Good news is I still haven't relapsed to Oxy, bad news is I'm out of subs.

Before coming on here and reading your replies (thank you for them, BTW) I didn't really think about saving the subs to last a couple more days. So yea, kind of screwed there.


Also, in accordance with other things I read on Bluelight and in lieu of what fm1983 said above, I snorted my last 4mg dose of subs.

Yes, it burned like hell and I've been snorting oxy for over 2 years. The drip wasn't that bad, but I like most drips. Before you say it was stupid, I snorted it for one PRIMARY reason... a lot of the research I did actually suggests that snorting subs makes it literally work better and last longer than taking it under your tongue. And I did this because it was the last one I had, so I wanted to make it really count for my day at work tomorrow.


Before anyone asks... no I didn't really catch any kind of buzz/high off of it. In fact, I didn't feel much of anything... I feel "normal" and I guess that's better than being in W/D's, right?

Thanks for all your replies!