i can't wait to get high

today i have 56 days.
however, i cannot wait to get realllll fucked up. i'm planning to stay clean for another 14 days and then i'm gonna have one of those city nights. some cule, k, a little oxy, smoke a little herb.. it's all thats been on my mind since i got out of rehab. of course i want to stay clean and not get back to sitting in my room all day getting high, but i want to have one night of just going out anddddd going alll out. i'm annoyed cause i missed all the rusko shows in nyc either from being a lazy drug addict or being in rehab! now i have to wait for that too. i hope what ever show i go to willl beeeeee mad liveeeeeeeeeeeeee ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. this isn't even really like a burning desire, it's just a hard core reservation. i haven't rolled since january, maybe once after that, and i haven't done k in monthsss and oxy 56 days. it's gonna be sooo goood.
then the day after i'm gonna get myself to a meeting!
 
yeah, i planned on using one night after 9 months and 25 days being clean. I followed through with my plan and experienced a world of suffering and loss. I also planned on making a meeting the next day.

My 'one night' lasted over three months and I almost didn't make it back.

Sounds like you aren't done yet or you aren't an addict
 
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