dont wanna sound like a big downer or party pooper cuz hey i like to get high or i did and i still like the feeling but the consequences sometimes suck ,
i was not gonna post anything until i saw about people saying using benzo's, i will just give you my experience not sure what will happen to you,
i had been on and of methadone for like five yrs i guess and i really fucking hated it honestly i did, but i tried every possible way i could to get high and they all backfired
here are some of the dumb mistakes i made
1. saving my takehomes and thenm doubling up on my dose, this resulted in being sick for a day or so and also when i went back to normal dose felt cheated and wanted more all the time,
2. increasing my dose, and as you know at the clinics they give you increases like once a mth or something and only ten mgs at a time after you hit a hundred mgs, (my clinic anyway) so no matter how high you go up, your tolerance rises with it god i was on almost two hundred mgs when i got of it,
3. stupidest thing i have done on done was try to actually get high on dope while on over a hundred and fifty mgs, lol i was an idiot but told myself i would get a rush etc, dont know how i am still alive honestly putting like eight bags in cooker
4.cocaine god this was hell when i started doing this with done i went nuts, was never a speed or coke freak but gawd needed the needle and needed to feel something so i said, this insane habit turned into me getting kicked of first clinic and pretty much loosing my children to this d
5. my biggest downfall of all times, benzo's i thought i found the perfect drug lol was i wrong, i did the most insane things on this, shoplifted constantly without caring, totally thought i was invisible hehe and i am a tall girl with jet black hair like i was invisible, started getting sick without them got a habit with benzo's and methadone never thought i would find a way out, i did many many fucked up things on this combination and i am really ashamed when i think of it
this ended in me loosing my children, family disowning me, husband leaving me, loosing what little bit of sanity i did have, and actually falling of a thirty foot cliff or jumping dont really remember, but i didnt walk for almost five yrs, still dont have a joint in right ankle ( i used to be a dance teacher btw) i can walk now but i limp and i cant do what i used to anymore was told three times would never walk again, almost getting amputation , getting arrested in pa (where they dont give methadone or benzo's for withdrawal) and kicking cold turkey in there
i am so sorry this is a long story and if it needs to get deleted it is cool but i felt the need to share my experiences with methadone and wanting to get high,
then loosing my best friend to benzo's and methadone, she went to jail for a mth got out and could not get back on cliinc so she ended up buying benzo's herself and on new yrs eve waking up and drinking her bf's dose (he was on two hundred mgs) her tolerance went down and she never really thought of the consequences of benzo's and methadone together, and i known her along time she was no piker this girl could shoot more heroin than most men i knew, seen her over dose a few times on heroin but she would always come out of it, her boyfriend rolled her over next morning to kiss her and say happy new yrs but she was dead
i am no goodie goodie by any means but mixing methadone with other drugs scares the fuck out of me and i did alot of drugs for a long time,
i hated jail and dtoxing cold turkey not sleeping for a mth almost loosing twenty five pds first ten days in jail from throwing up but i got of the shit, i am not telling anyone to get of methadone just feel so strongly that i need to tell my story about methadone and benzo's and other things i did to just get a little high on done,
i am on suboxone now and grateful to be on it and i did end up for a while going back to benzo's and i thank god i was able to find some people in blue light and internet who helped me get of them ,
you have been on methadone long enough to know about this i am sure, but i know for me when i wanted to get high i didnt use common sense whatsoever, the best suggestion i could give you is start to wean down and maybe for a while you could end up enjoying beeing a little more clearheaded,
like i said i am sorry if i wasnt much help and i know this is super long, so if you all need or want to delete it i wont get my feelings hurt, but once i started typing about this i couldnt stop i guess i just needed to rant a little bit sorry and op goodluck
ashla