• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

I am so fucking numb.....................:(

"Thank U"

how bout getting off these antibiotics
how bout stopping eating when I'm full up
how bout them transparent dangling carrots
how bout that ever elusive kudo

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

how bout me not blaming you for everything
how bout me enjoying the moment for once
how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you
how bout grieving it all one at a time

thank you india
thank you terror
thank you disillusionment
thank you frailty
thank you consequence
thank you thank you silence

the moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
the moment I jumped off of it
was the moment I touched down

how bout no longer being masochistic
how bout remembering your divinity
how bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out
how bout not equating death with stopping

thank you india
thank you providence
thank you disillusionment
thank you nothingness
thank you clarity
thank you thank you silence
 
BTW we have pernission from his family for these photo's to be released in this thread only.
 
So much love going out to you both, and his family <3 <3 <3

R.I.P Joe
 
Losing a friend is horrible. Just know that despite this loss, you still retain all of your good qualities and other friends...you'll make it through this :) Be strong, and you have my condolences.
 
I am sorry to hear about losing your best friend and father figure.

Lil Stella: Thank you for putting together the slide show. I hope it helped you.
 
Thank you all for caring enough to connect with me. Especially the ones that has posted in this thread for support. Thats all we or I have in our darkest moments, if you really think about it. I need you just as much if not more then you could ever need me. To still see the good out there helps to get me through another one of lifes mysteries. This was just as huge as when I lost my husband, because we were VERY close. We were best friends, but like everyday we smoked weed together. It's crazy how everything changes with a snap of a finger. It can get unbearable if you don't just understand it takes a risk to have a life. I am still here, and I am not even sure why, but damn, I want to make things different for my kids. I can't give in, even though it is hard to breathe at times. I loved him so much and he is very much missed and still needed. I haven't let go yet, but I am trying too. His face burns in my mind like a part of me. I know people do not define you but your life can, but you are a fool if you don't think life is unfair, but what choice do we have, I don't want to die. So I live on.........as I bury my loved ones. I just want to say as loud as I fucking can. "God Damn it people, REALIZE wtf your taking." I hate death, it is so fucking final. Respect your body, it can only withhold so much. Sorry for the rant. Guess it just kinda just needed to come out. :\ Things are so ironic.
 
What does not kill you shall only make you stronger.
It's not much help probably, but live everyday in his name, Stella. he would've wanted it, Stay alive, the world REALLY needs people like you, I know I do. Transfer your emotions into positivity and respect life. I am so sorry this happened to you, I remember by best friend charles dying from meth, it wasn't easy, but today I am getting clean from meth in his name. I guess what i'm saying is through unimaginable obstacles, you've managed to not only overcome then, you destroyed those obstacles. I KNOW you can do alot of good for the world, always remember that. Please stay strong and safe, I think I speak for everyone in saying, genuinely, that we ARE here for YOU!
Life has a way of fucking you over, but it's not bad all the time, it never is, the good comes in life, and it stays! i haven't been happy my whole life till I quit 16 days ago (meth). I'm now seeing how great sobriety is, this doesn't have anything to do with my original post, so I guess i'm just rambling, you will be a better, stronger, person after this. RIP Joe, far too young, absolute tragedy. But it's not all bad, it never is, sometimes we just have to try really hard for that to happen, if any of that made you feel even slightly better, then I accomplished my goal. And I mean all of it. As cliche as this sounds, it's sooo true in this case, believe in yourself, believe in the good in Joe, and believe in carrying on, one life lost is bad enough. Life must go on, as cruel as it is, it's an unfortunate reality we all have to accept.
Love - Alex.
 
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TBH I am okay. I am struggling with past demons with this yet another close call with death. In an all around view I have become a good bit wiser, and a great deal sadder. I realize our lives are so short, and that we need to live everyday as if it is our last. It is hard for me to understand why things happen, but rather to understand why the ripple effect make us who we are. I am thankful that I have a network of friends and close contacts that I am able to help share experience. Just in the hopes it helps anyone else. As for me, well, I am still really shaken up, sad, angry, betrayed, and about twenty more things I won't mention. I do know this is what I am supposed to be feeling so with that I hope it gets better soon. Thank you so much for asking wingnutlives. <3
 
It is alwats sad when we lose a beloved member of our close-knit community. But alas is the cycle of the universe in which we live... from the infinitely small to where we can't even see it to the immense vastness beyond our wildest imaginations.... it is a constant birth, evoution, transformation, and rebirth! I hope to be in touch with you soon! :)
 
I missed you today Joe, and I just wanted to apoligise. hat I couldn't save you. it breaks my soul, so as I lay with my soul broken I want to say. I am so broken with out you. I thought this time would be different, and you are gone as well. FUCK I hurt, I am broken and I am not complete when you are gone.


I'm holdin' on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground.
And I'm hearin' what you say,
But I just can't make a sound.
You tell me that you need me,
Then you go and cut me down...
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry,
Didn't think I'd turn around...
And say...

That it's too late to apologize.
It's too late...
I said it's too late
to apologize.
It's too late.
Yeaaah...

I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you so your death was not my ending.
I need love like a
heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new that I am to scared.

Yeah, yeah
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, like an angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late
to apologize.
It's too late.
Whoaaa...
It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late
to apologize.
It's too late.

I'm holdin' on your rope,
got me ten feet off the ground.

Help me find peace. :| :|
 
I know I'm new here and I don't know anyone, but I still give my condolences. I know what it's like to lose a loved one at an early age from overdoses, accidents and natural causes. It's not fair, it's painful as painful can be and it never gets easier "the next time".

I've never seen a forum with a shrine before. It's all very touching and a beautiful way to remember those whom have been lost.

Please take care hun and keep safe.

Hugs,
C
 
I know way to well the pain you and your family is feeling. In the last 5 years i've lost 3 family members that way. Yes its true you learn to go on but the pain will always be there. The only encouraging thing I can say is we are only grieving for ourselves and what we lost they are in a better place and will suffer no more.
 
"Broken"

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
 
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