I have been on opiate painkillers patches of all kind I have the courage to stop just not the time I have to work to keep what little life I have left.... I will have to make time and I plan to start within the next 2 weeks. I am just alone I have no one to even talk to. I have been on and off for 5 years and I'm almost at the worst I have ever been I have stop before I ruin my life for good. I guess I put this up I guess to just reach out.... I've used opiates ever since my wife and family left me which was not my fault they were taken from me in an car accident I was there as well anyways I just need some support I guess I am going to stop this and get back on track in life.
I am looking to get off of opiates I am alone looking for help advise good people
- Thread starter Ricky1290
- Start date
Runtoparadise
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,268
Good on you for making the choice to reach out for support prior to quitting opiates! It's such an uphill battle both physically & psychologically whether you wean off or go cold turkey.
I'm so sorry to hear that your family was taken from you. I can empathise with you wanting to use opiates in an attempt to dull the pain & feel any sort of high/euphoria.
How often are you using?, What sort of doesage & route of action are you taking?
Rtp
I'm so sorry to hear that your family was taken from you. I can empathise with you wanting to use opiates in an attempt to dull the pain & feel any sort of high/euphoria.
How often are you using?, What sort of doesage & route of action are you taking?
Rtp
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
Are you able to get any medication, or are you limited to OTC stuff?
manboychef
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 15, 2013
- Messages
- 4,050
I too lost someone I care deeply for. It is painful when someone that is a part of you is taken away. My ex took my kid in the middle of the night. I went back to using shortly after that. I know how hard it is when all your emotions are jagged and your mind is often uneasy and a terrible place to be alone.
The first thing to do is see a psychiatrist. There was no way that I was going to get sober until I dealt with the toxic emotions that I was so wrapped up in...it took medicine and therapy in order to come to a place of acceptance. I still don't see him or get to talk to him but now I know that as long as he is happy and healthy then it is okay. I just have to accept that this is reality and not some idealized norman rockwell fantasy I have built up in my mind.
I used during that relapse because I hated myself. I had fooled myself into believing that if I had fought harder, or done something different then things would be different. It was all to easy for me to slip into living in the past...when the reality was crushing me. Think about why you use? Will it change anything? Is it even helping you cope anymore?
I am here for you.
The first thing to do is see a psychiatrist. There was no way that I was going to get sober until I dealt with the toxic emotions that I was so wrapped up in...it took medicine and therapy in order to come to a place of acceptance. I still don't see him or get to talk to him but now I know that as long as he is happy and healthy then it is okay. I just have to accept that this is reality and not some idealized norman rockwell fantasy I have built up in my mind.
I used during that relapse because I hated myself. I had fooled myself into believing that if I had fought harder, or done something different then things would be different. It was all to easy for me to slip into living in the past...when the reality was crushing me. Think about why you use? Will it change anything? Is it even helping you cope anymore?
I am here for you.
vision conquest
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2016
- Messages
- 196
Hi Ricky, very sorry to hear about your family mate.
I am sure you will find support and good people here at bl.
However I would like to tell you about another place you will find support and the added bonus of being able to chat live with other people in recovery.
It is called www. freefromhell.com
It is a site that is dedicated 100% to recovery from addiction.
I am definitely not saying anything negative about bl and like I said you will surely find good support here, just giving another option.
Very sorry if this is not allowed.
Wishing you the best Ricky.
I am sure you will find support and good people here at bl.
However I would like to tell you about another place you will find support and the added bonus of being able to chat live with other people in recovery.
It is called www. freefromhell.com
It is a site that is dedicated 100% to recovery from addiction.
I am definitely not saying anything negative about bl and like I said you will surely find good support here, just giving another option.
Very sorry if this is not allowed.
Wishing you the best Ricky.
Moreaux
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2011
- Messages
- 1,917
This is excellent advice. I think seeing a professional will help you tremendously Ricky. You said you were present when they passed (this made me cry), that has to be one of the most traumatic events a person can live through. There are so many feelings that you have to work through I don't know if it's really possible to do so on your own. I give you credit for living through that and continuing on. You are a very strong person. It makes me think that with help you will be able to move forward from that moment and be able to reclaim your life from opiates. We are here for you!
Ricky -
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's more than I could handle - you are far stronger than me.
The above posters gave you great advice, I just wanted to add some encouragement. You have made the decision to quit, that's half the battle. Hang in there and you will get where you need to be.
- VE
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's more than I could handle - you are far stronger than me.
The above posters gave you great advice, I just wanted to add some encouragement. You have made the decision to quit, that's half the battle. Hang in there and you will get where you need to be.
- VE
What I take a day varies it could be a 50 mcg patch at day or anything else that could equal up to that. I have waited to respond because I am to be honest scared and things like this are having to have a conversation with anyone about such things. I can't seek professional help the people who have told me that I don't think you understand when you live and work in places like I live and have grown up in you will loose everything just talking about something of such nature. I have nothing to go through this with other than what I can get at a pharmacy or a store or maybe something from the street if need be. Thank you all for your responses I have a lot going on and I am not starting yet I just haven't had time but I am here and I have been reading it all.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
Don't be to hard on yourself. We are always here for you when you need us.
Ricky -
I felt the exact same way when I first started posting (Bluelight isn't my first support forum). I was terrified of being honest or of people being able to identify who I was. Besides, when you put things in black and white it lives on the Internet forever...I might want to run for president one day. Ugh. It does get easier. The more you read the forums, the more you realize of how anonymous it all is...at least I did. Now it's really helpful and only slightly scary.
I can't relate to living in a small town like that. But I'm sure it sucks. I saw a withdrawal list of things you could order on on-line pharmacies because they are not scheduled - things like clonodine. I hope I'm not breaking any rules by saying that, but I did see a post on here about it, so I'm assuming it's ok. I'll have to try and find it again. Are online pharmacies even an option for you (provided it's all legal)?
Im beat. I'll check back in in the morning. Hang in there!
- VE
I felt the exact same way when I first started posting (Bluelight isn't my first support forum). I was terrified of being honest or of people being able to identify who I was. Besides, when you put things in black and white it lives on the Internet forever...I might want to run for president one day. Ugh. It does get easier. The more you read the forums, the more you realize of how anonymous it all is...at least I did. Now it's really helpful and only slightly scary.
I can't relate to living in a small town like that. But I'm sure it sucks. I saw a withdrawal list of things you could order on on-line pharmacies because they are not scheduled - things like clonodine. I hope I'm not breaking any rules by saying that, but I did see a post on here about it, so I'm assuming it's ok. I'll have to try and find it again. Are online pharmacies even an option for you (provided it's all legal)?
Im beat. I'll check back in in the morning. Hang in there!
- VE
Runtoparadise
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,268
Ricki, please know that no matter what medical attention you seek it is all private.
No matter if you do this alone or use ORT. It's a personal matter even in a small town.
Unfortunately you've been through a horrific situation & perhaps giving up opiates completely will be harsh on you. Though I applaud you if you can do it on your own!
If you feel you're ready then go ahead wean off. Just know there's help out there & It can be very discreet.
I'm on Subs & there's a special back entrance to my pharmacy, I live in a small but posh suburb,- there's only five that dose there. ... But they make it as exclusive as possible.
Just thoughts for the future
Rtp xx
No matter if you do this alone or use ORT. It's a personal matter even in a small town.
Unfortunately you've been through a horrific situation & perhaps giving up opiates completely will be harsh on you. Though I applaud you if you can do it on your own!
If you feel you're ready then go ahead wean off. Just know there's help out there & It can be very discreet.
I'm on Subs & there's a special back entrance to my pharmacy, I live in a small but posh suburb,- there's only five that dose there. ... But they make it as exclusive as possible.
Just thoughts for the future
Rtp xx
RTP -
I don't think Ricky is worried about the doctor necessarily telling anyone about that, I think it is more the rest of his nosy-ass-community wondering why he is at the doctor and then the pharmacy. The pharmacist is probably his third cousin (and if not his, his neighbor's!), the receptionist in the doctor's office is his first girlfriend in high school (that, and on top of it, at the young and stupid age of 17, cheated on her with her sister...so she does have a bone to pick with him), and his wife's sister is the nurse.
Ok, so obviously I'm joking, but I'm sure it's really close to that. So, I don't think that he is worried about the doctor violating any doctor/patient privacy, it's just the nature of small towns. At the very least he may be faced with rumors and innuendo and that is the last thing he needs.
It just pisses me off that the social stigma is so negative that any of us have to worry about this shit. You always have us Ricky, we don't judge and we don't gossip. Keep on keeping on!
- VE
Runtoparadise
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2014
- Messages
- 1,268
^That may well be & it did make me laugh, - I'm originally from a very small town.
Still, there's options, once you're on takeaway doses you can drive half an hour to the next biggest town. I'd hate to do that whilst wding, but it's another option.
As my beloved late father would say, 'There's always a way baby'.
Rtp
Still, there's options, once you're on takeaway doses you can drive half an hour to the next biggest town. I'd hate to do that whilst wding, but it's another option.
As my beloved late father would say, 'There's always a way baby'.
Rtp