I am actually KINDA sober.. and somewhat SHOCKED I made it this far.

OK, so I said KINDA sober because I still use bupe, smoke weed, will have a few drinks when out w/ friends, and even sniff coke w/ a chick if she wants to rail and 80 and then smash all night, but you know what I havent done!? DOPE! I have not touched dope in 2 weeks and that is a fucking miracle to me. yes, it sounds like absolutely nothing to someone who was never a fiend and never had the habit I once had, but if you only knew the troubles in my life and what I was once doing (1-3G's/day) to go by you would know why I find this to be a miracle.

I've been on bupe now for 3-4 months and have calmed my usage down BIG TIME but was still using every few days but over the past 2 weeks I have lost all urge to use and truly feel my life is changing and I am starting to THINK BETTER and feel better about life.

I once sat in the house day after day and just shooting and shooting; aside form work I would NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE.. but now you could barely find me in the house and when I am there I am bored as fuck and dying to leave to get out and do something. Life is just different right now.. and yes, addiction is still there, cuz all drugs mentioned earlier, esp. the 12-16MG/bupe/daily, but that is costing me 50/mo vs 100+/day. ill take that ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, man.

legit, nothing else to write here but life is FINALLY NOT THAT BAD! and who knows, I am up for getting my license in 3 weeks and MAYBE, just MAYBE, ill have a fucking car, license and LIFE BACK!

FUCK DOPE.. and fuck everything else I've done in the past. past is the past, right? FUCK THAT!

 

appreciate it, man. and youre 100% right, people just dont understand. this bupe is NOT A DRUG IN MY EYES, this fucking thing saved my life in so many ways; just spending 100+ a day buying gram after gram and just shooting and shooting. I'd never leave the house because I didnt want to be out and shoot infront of people or carry needles on me when around others. I also had no fucking money because it all went to dope every single day.

say what you want, think what you want, but those who suffered hardcore addiction and are now finally getting SOMETHING back due to bupe are fucking doing the right thing in my eyes; sober or not, we are going down a totally different path now and finally get life together in so many ways. things we once didnt care for are not becoming things we care for; going out w/ friends, getting a girlfriend, life, is starting to look better each day and actually something I want rather than a needle in my arm.

its just sick how this works and unless you've gone through hell and back, you'll never understand.