3uforic hylian
Greenlighter
Hey ‘y'all! I’m new to the community and could t find any discussion that quite fit my experience so forgive me if there’s already a thread on this.
So a bit of background on my previous experiences.
At around 16-17 I got into opiates and then heroin pretty hard, a good 4 year run of that. I knew it was time to call it quits when fentanyl started coming around, and it got so bad I would specifically ask for the stuff with the most in it. It’s a miracle I never died. Had some close calls but yeah. About a year later got into coke. Started es a weekend thing with some co-workers and turned into practically daily as my work didn’t do anything to stop any of us from doing it. We could have been railing lines in the kitchen and they would t have given a damn. Anyway I started shooting it like I did with the heroin which is when I realized I loved the infatuation of the needle more than the drugs that were in them. Didn’t matter which drug was there I would find a way to boot it. But back then it was always easy to stop cocaine even after shooting.and never had any bad feelings from coke either.
Fast forward about 8 years to now. Had been clean from hard drugs just a little stint with alcohol (which has so far been the hardest to cope with withdrawals). Another work buddy of mine got me into the coke again and it was great at first but I quickly craved that euphoric rush after a big shot.
My tolerance was low again so I knew to work my way into it. I’m now plugged in to his dealer and can get stuff cheaper than I ever could back in my hay day. So kind of a dangerous situation but I try to be safe about it. So that sets the scene; history of opiates and several types of stimulates mainly cocaine and get off to using a needle.
To my point/story:
A few weeks ago I rode that line of Euphoria/Panic. I loaded my rig off a bag that I had already been trying (At this time I didn’t have a MG scale but have invested in one and now have started weighing my doses). Loaded rig, used my usual “Ole Reliable” vein, easy to hit no tie off needed, and BANG. Before this most of the rushes had been subtle. Enhanced auditory awareness, lots of energy some itchiness at times, and I turn into a social butterfly. I won’t shut the fuck up and tend to ramble. This time I booted it and stood up to clean and dispose of the rig and cotton and while doing so I just about fell over. I caught my balance but instantly got the taste in the back of my throat as if I just did a fat half gram line and got drips but without the gag. I stopped threw my needle down and made a bee line for my bed to lay down. I started panicking and possibly overreacting, my mind racing all the possible things that could be happening to my body making me manifest the feelings of these things happening. One second I thought I was going to have a heart attack, the next feeling like i went into cardiac arrest. By the peak of the rush I definitely lost peripheral vision and began zoning out looking at the ceiling. I was snapped back into it my a sudden jolt in my chest (maybe my brain sending a final signal to correct the hearts rhythm?) that made my whole body jerk. Still decreased vision but coming down from the “rush”.
Since then I’ve been chasing that again trying to find my sweet spot with each new product I get. But every once in a while I get right on the line again. To cope I focus on a video or start doing simple math or saying big words out loud, sometimes I feel the need to focus on my breathing. I fear my brain will forget to breathe so I kind of use meditation breathing techniques to keep my breathing regular so my brain doesn’t loose oxygen.
So I guess my question is, is this good to do? Am I just overthinking it? Has anyone else done this? If I don’t hit that line I’m usually good to stay standing and walk around etc. but once I ride that line I always feel like laying down and breathing.
I know it’s bad to continue to do it but I’ve been trying to tune into the correct dose. Right now with the batch I have i found that just under .1 grams is perfect. This stuff I get is pretty good shit. And usually in complete brick form. I go down and up a bit here and there depending on my last use. Which during sessions range from 20mins to an hour between each dose.
Thanks for reading y'all look forward to hearing from everyone in the community.
So a bit of background on my previous experiences.
At around 16-17 I got into opiates and then heroin pretty hard, a good 4 year run of that. I knew it was time to call it quits when fentanyl started coming around, and it got so bad I would specifically ask for the stuff with the most in it. It’s a miracle I never died. Had some close calls but yeah. About a year later got into coke. Started es a weekend thing with some co-workers and turned into practically daily as my work didn’t do anything to stop any of us from doing it. We could have been railing lines in the kitchen and they would t have given a damn. Anyway I started shooting it like I did with the heroin which is when I realized I loved the infatuation of the needle more than the drugs that were in them. Didn’t matter which drug was there I would find a way to boot it. But back then it was always easy to stop cocaine even after shooting.and never had any bad feelings from coke either.
Fast forward about 8 years to now. Had been clean from hard drugs just a little stint with alcohol (which has so far been the hardest to cope with withdrawals). Another work buddy of mine got me into the coke again and it was great at first but I quickly craved that euphoric rush after a big shot.
My tolerance was low again so I knew to work my way into it. I’m now plugged in to his dealer and can get stuff cheaper than I ever could back in my hay day. So kind of a dangerous situation but I try to be safe about it. So that sets the scene; history of opiates and several types of stimulates mainly cocaine and get off to using a needle.
To my point/story:
A few weeks ago I rode that line of Euphoria/Panic. I loaded my rig off a bag that I had already been trying (At this time I didn’t have a MG scale but have invested in one and now have started weighing my doses). Loaded rig, used my usual “Ole Reliable” vein, easy to hit no tie off needed, and BANG. Before this most of the rushes had been subtle. Enhanced auditory awareness, lots of energy some itchiness at times, and I turn into a social butterfly. I won’t shut the fuck up and tend to ramble. This time I booted it and stood up to clean and dispose of the rig and cotton and while doing so I just about fell over. I caught my balance but instantly got the taste in the back of my throat as if I just did a fat half gram line and got drips but without the gag. I stopped threw my needle down and made a bee line for my bed to lay down. I started panicking and possibly overreacting, my mind racing all the possible things that could be happening to my body making me manifest the feelings of these things happening. One second I thought I was going to have a heart attack, the next feeling like i went into cardiac arrest. By the peak of the rush I definitely lost peripheral vision and began zoning out looking at the ceiling. I was snapped back into it my a sudden jolt in my chest (maybe my brain sending a final signal to correct the hearts rhythm?) that made my whole body jerk. Still decreased vision but coming down from the “rush”.
Since then I’ve been chasing that again trying to find my sweet spot with each new product I get. But every once in a while I get right on the line again. To cope I focus on a video or start doing simple math or saying big words out loud, sometimes I feel the need to focus on my breathing. I fear my brain will forget to breathe so I kind of use meditation breathing techniques to keep my breathing regular so my brain doesn’t loose oxygen.
So I guess my question is, is this good to do? Am I just overthinking it? Has anyone else done this? If I don’t hit that line I’m usually good to stay standing and walk around etc. but once I ride that line I always feel like laying down and breathing.
I know it’s bad to continue to do it but I’ve been trying to tune into the correct dose. Right now with the batch I have i found that just under .1 grams is perfect. This stuff I get is pretty good shit. And usually in complete brick form. I go down and up a bit here and there depending on my last use. Which during sessions range from 20mins to an hour between each dose.
Thanks for reading y'all look forward to hearing from everyone in the community.
