Hey,
I'd gotten so used to my HPPD I barely noticed it much less thought about it (notice a fractal as I fall asleep 'ugh fucks sake' carry on going to sleep, never mentioned it to a Dr or anyone, my guilty secret blah!!), unfortunately something reminded me of it so now 20 years on I punched in 'longterm effects of LSD' into google and hey guess what - I'm not alone, other people suffer this, oh and you know the other stuff that you struggle with? yeah those are noted symptoms.
20 years ago I'd found alcohol 'soothed' it. I had started suffering after a really bad mushroom trip, I did a fair amount of acid around this time but after 2 bad mushroom trips I knocked hallucinogens (and weed because that increased my 'permanent trip' feelings).
Roll forward 10 years I've got a booze problem, but a good well paid IT job (this carried on another 6 years), go on another year I've finally kicked the booze but I'm not working and I have 'life problems' (depression, mania, anxiety bla) I find if I take some Benzo's (this is maybe 8 months ago) and hey lifes 'alright' (I know this is what they do but when I finally explained to my GP that basically the improvements were weird - my house was tidy, paperwork in order, I'm increasing my workload as a volunteer drugs/alcohol worker etc. (strange but true I get paid to sit on local gov/medical meetings to represent users of 'alcohol services') they were baffled but still convinced me off them). I knock them on the head - note I was barely abusing them 10mg a day generally when they started weaning me off 6mg would remove any withdrawal). Life returns to 'life difficulties' (I stopped completely about 4 months ago).
So I'm roaming reddit after the thing that reminded me (this being a letter I had to write to the DWP (social security) about my health) one night, and see something about Psilocybilin(sp? sorry I'm really tired!) being used medically. Interested I go look, then I figure I'll punch in my search into google (whether I'd avoided it subconsciously in the past or just not though of doing it I can't tell you). Go and see my GP the next day in a pretty ropey state, he prescribes Olanzapine on top of the Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine I'm already on (this is 2 weeks ago now), I find I'm getting adverse reactions to it - increased mania, insomnia etc. I went back for a follow up yesterday and I questioned him on it and why he thought it was appropriate despite the adverse effects, he talks me round to doubling the dose adding in some Epilim (Sodium Valporate?).
So really heres my question - My research says 'anecdotally' anti-psychotics bad, and from the few studies I've been able to read clonazepam or vaiations on a benzo theme good. Does anyone have any accessible info on this (most research is behind paywalls). I'm aware my current use of Cannabis isn't helping the HPPD symptoms but TBH the increase in those is offset by the ability to relax a bit!! (this is pretty stressful!), I'm considering knocking it on the head but right now its the least of my worries!, my GP is referring me to a fairly well respected drugs psych which is hopefully going to help.
Apologies for the length of this but I figured some background might help. Part of my back of a cigarette packet theory is that the alcohol and benzo's act in the same area, but I'm not in any way shape or form an expert on brain chemistry!
I'd gotten so used to my HPPD I barely noticed it much less thought about it (notice a fractal as I fall asleep 'ugh fucks sake' carry on going to sleep, never mentioned it to a Dr or anyone, my guilty secret blah!!), unfortunately something reminded me of it so now 20 years on I punched in 'longterm effects of LSD' into google and hey guess what - I'm not alone, other people suffer this, oh and you know the other stuff that you struggle with? yeah those are noted symptoms.
20 years ago I'd found alcohol 'soothed' it. I had started suffering after a really bad mushroom trip, I did a fair amount of acid around this time but after 2 bad mushroom trips I knocked hallucinogens (and weed because that increased my 'permanent trip' feelings).
Roll forward 10 years I've got a booze problem, but a good well paid IT job (this carried on another 6 years), go on another year I've finally kicked the booze but I'm not working and I have 'life problems' (depression, mania, anxiety bla) I find if I take some Benzo's (this is maybe 8 months ago) and hey lifes 'alright' (I know this is what they do but when I finally explained to my GP that basically the improvements were weird - my house was tidy, paperwork in order, I'm increasing my workload as a volunteer drugs/alcohol worker etc. (strange but true I get paid to sit on local gov/medical meetings to represent users of 'alcohol services') they were baffled but still convinced me off them). I knock them on the head - note I was barely abusing them 10mg a day generally when they started weaning me off 6mg would remove any withdrawal). Life returns to 'life difficulties' (I stopped completely about 4 months ago).
So I'm roaming reddit after the thing that reminded me (this being a letter I had to write to the DWP (social security) about my health) one night, and see something about Psilocybilin(sp? sorry I'm really tired!) being used medically. Interested I go look, then I figure I'll punch in my search into google (whether I'd avoided it subconsciously in the past or just not though of doing it I can't tell you). Go and see my GP the next day in a pretty ropey state, he prescribes Olanzapine on top of the Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine I'm already on (this is 2 weeks ago now), I find I'm getting adverse reactions to it - increased mania, insomnia etc. I went back for a follow up yesterday and I questioned him on it and why he thought it was appropriate despite the adverse effects, he talks me round to doubling the dose adding in some Epilim (Sodium Valporate?).
So really heres my question - My research says 'anecdotally' anti-psychotics bad, and from the few studies I've been able to read clonazepam or vaiations on a benzo theme good. Does anyone have any accessible info on this (most research is behind paywalls). I'm aware my current use of Cannabis isn't helping the HPPD symptoms but TBH the increase in those is offset by the ability to relax a bit!! (this is pretty stressful!), I'm considering knocking it on the head but right now its the least of my worries!, my GP is referring me to a fairly well respected drugs psych which is hopefully going to help.
Apologies for the length of this but I figured some background might help. Part of my back of a cigarette packet theory is that the alcohol and benzo's act in the same area, but I'm not in any way shape or form an expert on brain chemistry!
