Give the shit a miss for a few weeks or months if needed until you feel readjusted to normality. Doing meth every weekend will mess with your life and before you know it your doing meth before work because you needed 4 mg's of xanax the night before in order to sleep for 3 hours. I keep a small amout of bennies at hand in case of a freak out trip or because the substance I'm using is a: some form of stim/dissociative/psychedelic often almost unknown to medical science except for trials with rats and I have b: no idea how my body will react to the substance in question when using it for the first time ie: my freak out from hell :1.2 mgs of 25c nbome consumed 24 hours post consumption of 20 mg of TMA-2... just plain dumb! Meth for me is the worst comedown of all. It makes me feel dirty, usually can't sleep for the first 48 hours and then it takes 2-3 days to get my sleep pattern back to normal. Plus I feel tired and a bit depresssed for at least 5 days after using meth (4-MAR is even worse). Also I start to smell like meth, my skin, clothes etc for a day or two after use. No prizes for guessing I no longer touch it, rather risk an unknown RC that may or may not kill me/put me in hospital vs the hell that is coming off a meth/4-MAR binge.
MDMA is not as problematic apart from lack of sleep for around 24 hours post dose and 3 days of low mood/depression. I no longer do MD at all because for those 3 days after I feel very depressed, not suicidal or anything just flat. Also MD no longer interests me, a big call from someone who thought it was the greatest thing on earth when I discovered it in the mid/late 90's. Suicide Monday/Tuesday were the days everyone who had done way to much MD on the weekend would front up to ED, often in tears, with a very definate plan and intent to harm/kill themselves. So for myself I like a few select RC's these day's as the come down is fuck all compared to that shit. Also I find if a substance has negative effects on the come up or during I have a very mild or no come down, eg. 2c-e (not recommending this substance just an example. I think tripping hard on 2c-e and being able to get into a nightclub would be a minor miracle). Also I'm careful with my doses and don't go all out to get as shitfaced as possible as quick as possible, unlike when I was in my late teens early 20's. I may just watch a movie take substance x and hang out tripping/dissociating or whatever at home rather than a club.
I also have a BP cuff which has been very helpful on a number of occasions ie: I feel ok I think a redose may be in order, check my BP and it's 140/90 with a pulse of 100 and think maybe not. At the end of the day using substances on a weekly basis, especially meth, creates dependence which leads to addiction. Xanax is a really nasty drug to withdraw from and you could have a delayed withdrawl. This is because some of the drug is stored in your body and takes a while to break down. Going from 4 mg of xanax a day to 0 overnight may not be an issue until you metabolise all the stored drug and bang benzo withdrawl which is as life threatening as Etoh (booze) withdrawls aka delirium tremens. I've seen people go through all kinds of withdrawls and the delerium tremens due to long term alchoholism (30+ years) is some really nasty shit. Xanax can also cause a similar state if abused and is just as likely to kill you as Etoh withdrawl. I'm glad you have the insight to be questioning your substance use, some people never do and end up addicts. I've been there (addicted) and it is not something you could wish on your worst enemies. BTW perhaps part of the reason you have difficulty talking to people at TAFE is because you don't share similar interests. People might enjoy dance music but not be a clubber. Some people may enjoy the odd doof every now and then vs weekly club hopping. What are you studying? That should be a shared interest for all the members of the group and it's an ice breaker.
I think giving the drugs a miss for a few weeks or more will do you good. Also try and source something other then meth as it may be less harsh for your physical and mental state, what you are experiencing is something I can identify with 100%. I would avoid the following drugs: MDPV, aussie cocaine, amt, MDMA, METH... well each person is different so try a little research after a good period of abstinence, as long as you avoid those drugs listed with capitals lol. I have breaks often months at a time. I may come across something very special and have a mini binge vs a full blown drug fest. I have also been guilty of breaking my own rules and have had binges lasting up to a week or more if on holiday or not working etc. They take a huge toll on me however these days and the week long parties are almost a distant, hazy memory... As are the years 1998-2000 when I was getting e-tarded every weekend. Do you want that when your looking back on your younger life thinking WTF did I do, who was that person, have I been here before, I know the face but, oh yeah... I slept with her?? Great thing to be thinking when meeting an old aquaintance for the first time in almost 15 years. Getting older does slow you down, also you notice the physical toll substances have on the body. I still have a slight twich every now and then I picked up on the comedown from dropping 2 CK gold (1999-2000ish) one evening... Hope this long winded, tweeked out rant is of some help.
