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Misc How to help an alcoholic quit.

SDforever420

SDforever420

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 15, 2010
Messages
1,193
Location
In the middle of nowhere So Dak
My moms boyfriend is a heavy drinker, mixed drinks of vodka from the time he wakes up untill he goes to bed, needless to say its turned him into a real dickhead. He has been wanting to marry my mom for years but she always said no. Untill one day she said fine quit drinking and ill marry you. Problem is he has been drinking heavily everyday all day for about 6 years or more. He cant just stop or he will likely die. He didnt drink for a whole day and he had some crazy shakes and was throwing up all day, he NEVER throws up. How can we help him quit? We estamited it would take about a year to wean him off little by little but idk if he could just drink less and less everyday ya know? I suggested to my mom to maybe try some benzos but thats just trading one addiction for another. I would like to add he has multiple sclerosis and cant walk anymore. I just want my mom to be happy. Any suggestions? Also sorry if i posted this in the wrong fourm
 
IMO- You should consult an addiction specialist. Alcohol withdrawl should be treated in an inpatient environment. The most important thing for an addict is that we quit for ourselves not for someone else. Quitting for someone else can lead to relapse at any moment because once that person lets you down even in the slightest way, it becomes a reason to use drugs or alcohol. At the very least, he should attend AA and you and your mom could attend Al-Anon. A support system is a key element in recovery. Good Luck to your family.
 
It sounds like a case for sure where professional medical help needs to be gotten. Alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous stuff, and needs to be handled with great care.
 
Any way you cut it, he is going to have to seek help from a medical professional. It might be in the form of a psychiatrist who tried medications to wean him off, or in the form of a detox which will do it over a shorter period of time.
 
Does he want to quit drinking? That is the most important factor here.

If he does then he needs either inpatient treatment to detox safely, or to see a doctor who will prescribe librium or tranxene to help him detox at home. He also needs to go to AA meetings and get a sponsor. The staying sober will be up to him, and whether or not he goes to meetings and works the steps with a sponsor.

Have your mom approach him about this. It could end up badly if you try to talk to him.
 
yeah that would be the first step.
if he wants to quit drinking, the best way to do that would be via a benzo taper. a shitload of different drugs work just as well, but long acting benzos still have the best safety profile.
 
Thanks for the replies. To my knowlege he doesnt want to quit and i cant really blame the guy, he cant do any of the things he use to love doing, work, help his parents out, etc etc. If he didnt have MS i know he wouldnt drink nearly as much as he does. I will defiently tell my mom about getting him professional help. But im almost certian he wont do AA meetings and what not. Leaving the house is a chore for him now a days.

One more question. Is it possible that his MS could make quitting harder/worse?
 
SDforever420 said:
My moms boyfriend is a heavy drinker, mixed drinks of vodka from the time he wakes up untill he goes to bed, needless to say its turned him into a real dickhead. He has been wanting to marry my mom for years but she always said no. Untill one day she said fine quit drinking and ill marry you. Problem is he has been drinking heavily everyday all day for about 6 years or more. He cant just stop or he will likely die. He didnt drink for a whole day and he had some crazy shakes and was throwing up all day, he NEVER throws up. How can we help him quit? We estamited it would take about a year to wean him off little by little but idk if he could just drink less and less everyday ya know? I suggested to my mom to maybe try some benzos but thats just trading one addiction for another. I would like to add he has multiple sclerosis and cant walk anymore. I just want my mom to be happy. Any suggestions? Also sorry if i posted this in the wrong fourm
Click to expand...

It's like asking me to quit chemistry. When I was 4 y.o. my hands were cold so I threw caustic soda in a water pot and put my hands on the pot to warm them up. I somehow knew that I shouldn't put them inside. Chemicals were always my friend since day 1, and no chemical has ever harmed me. It's hard to explain it but when you're born in a way, you can't reborn yourself and be what you are not.

If he has the alcohol gene, not only quitting will be hard but the overall quality of lifestyle may decrease considerable, since alcohol makes those people feel joyful and happy. Unless he is violent, very unproductive or other major problems (not going to the mall on saturday is not a major problem) then sure. My grandpa drank alcohol for 75 years, he's now 91 and healthy. He drinks about 100mL of ethanol content per day and it's probably what kept him going until this age. You must not necessarily regard his alcohol use as a problem, because in rare cases it can actually be a solution.

Also, quitting alcohol cold turkey = DEATH.

Never cold turkey alcohol! Always gradually.
 
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^ Sorry, but I really don't get what playing with caustic soda to warm your hands has to do with a serious, possibly life threatening addiction problem.
 
bronson said:
^ Sorry, but I really don't get what playing with caustic soda to warm your hands has to do with a serious, possibly life threatening addiction problem.
Click to expand...

From the OP's testimony, the health problems began when he stopped drinking...on what evidence do you say that his addiction is life threatening? He can have a bull's liver and never have any health problems.
 
The only clear, sure answer is Alcoholics Anonymous.. rarely have I seen someone fail to get sober if they thoroughly follow the path unless they are constitutionally incapable or have grave mental difficulty. Half measures do not work, its an all in or nothing program
 
I have always wondered about the supposed physical addiction and withdrawals from alcohol. I was self medicating on a bottle of Wiskey a day for a year due to serious safety related ptsd anxiety and paranoia (brought on by raping my brain with to much mdma) and when i finally got help via paxil and seroquel i never got any symptoms from instantly stopping my daily alcohol use. I wonder if going from heaving daily use to moderate weekend use would stop the serious withdrawals?

Anyways recently:
Im not sure if replacing 1 thing with another is the best idea but I replaced my weekend alcohol use with Kratom and find it is excellent at killing any desire for alcohol or stimulants, and I believe its replacing 1 evil with a far lesser evil, a step in the right direction if you will. I did this because my heavy drug use is directly linked to being intoxicated on alcohol, so control alcohol and control stim use. Its been working well.
 
Ksa said:
From the OP's testimony, the health problems began when he stopped drinking...on what evidence do you say that his addiction is life threatening? He can have a bull's liver and never have any health problems.
Click to expand...

Well you are correct there, it is possible that he drink his whole life with no serious health issues. As I said above alcohol withdrawal is very dangerous stuff, that's the potentially life threatening part.

His drinking doesn't seem to be working well for those around him though, but that ultimately is his call if he continues or not.

I don't know if I agree that 'Never cold turkey alcohol! Always gradually' is correct either. I think with a severe addiction, if one is choosing sobriety, then professional medical help is necessary.
 
Ksa said:
From the OP's testimony, the health problems began when he stopped drinking...on what evidence do you say that his addiction is life threatening? He can have a bull's liver and never have any health problems.
Click to expand...

He said possibly life threatening..
bronson said:
^ Sorry, but I really don't get what playing with caustic soda to warm your hands has to do with a serious, possibly life threatening addiction problem.
Click to expand...
See...
 
LilbabiC said:
IMO- You should consult an addiction specialist. Alcohol withdrawl should be treated in an inpatient environment. The most important thing for an addict is that we quit for ourselves not for someone else. Quitting for someone else can lead to relapse at any moment because once that person lets you down even in the slightest way, it becomes a reason to use drugs or alcohol. At the very least, he should attend AA and you and your mom could attend Al-Anon. A support system is a key element in recovery. Good Luck to your family.
Click to expand...

This is so spot on the money. I could not have said it any better myself.

& not to sound like an asshole, but if thats the reason he quits get ready for him to go right back to the bottle once the the wedding day passes.

If hes not willing to do whatever it takes, including getting out of the house to go to AA...thats your answer right there. If you want to quit, truly and honestly in your heart of hearts, you'll do whatever it takes. Be that getting your ass to a meeting, getting to an addiction specialist, changing your entire being and essence....you must change the very fabric of who you are.

@KSA i have no idea wtf your getting at. Not life threatening? Lets assume his liver IS 100% intact (which I guarantee you its not after 6 years of hard core alcohol abuse), how in gods name does that make alcoholism any less life threatening? Ever hear of an alcoholic falling down a flight of stairs? Crashing a car? Forgetting not to mix certain meds?

When I was in detox there were a few alkies there: 1 had liver cancer (and is now dead), 1 had the shakes (DT) so badly he couldn't move, 1 was admitted after she fell at the airport and cracked her skull open (it was so bad she was nearly paralyzed and had to have emergency surgery to relieve pressure on her spinal cord), and 1 had been in 6 car accidents, all hit and runs, none of which he got a DUI for (including 1 where he absolutely wrecked his car). I'd say all of those peoples lives were in eminent and clear danger, not just the 1 with a bad liver.

Regardless, all but impossible to go 6 years of heavy drinking and have a healthy liver anyway. That is a fools wish at best. As for the rest of what you were talking about regarding the chemistry set I really have no idea where you were going with that. But yeah, your life is definitely in 110% danger if you are wasted all day.
 
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