THE_REAL_OBLIVION
Bluelight Crew
How to deal with tragedy without starting "war" or falling into endless despair?
I'm reading Greg Graffin's Anarchy Revolution : Faith, Science and Bad Religion and I find it amazing to finally be able to read the thoughts of the great scientist that's also the head of one of my favourite bands of all time in more than 2/3 min blasts of hardcore punk. I'm getting to the chapter that interested me the most, "Tragedy : The Construction Of A Worldview". Before I even read his thoughts, I'm gonna ask monists and naturalists only who are on this site ? How do you deal with tragedy ? You cannot ignore personal tragedy and what causes one psychological trauma without jeopardizing one's sanity afterall. For example, the world fell to me when 911 happened, no matter what one thinks happened there, it's still a kind of bleak message to my generation (I was 19 then and expecting a great future for myself, I had it all, my parents had finally divorced after 8 years of hell of enduring them screaming and throwing shit at each other when I was 17), my mom bought a house very close to the college I was going to and I didn't need to put myself in insane debt (which I ended up doing because I was kicked out by that idiot lazy piece of shit of a stepdad later who invaded my comfort and took us with his downfall after he lost his business in late 2010). I'm forced to live with my mom now, not because I want to, but she needs the rent money because the guy hasn't made a cent since late 2010. No matter how I try to explain to her that nevermind his physical condition (he lost his dairy distribution business, basically a "milkman" who mostly served grocery stores and restaurants etc.) that he should be looking for a non physical job, or at least something that doesn't have to do anything with shoulders and how it's about time she kicks his ass into action and she's losing everything because of him, she will not act. He lost it because he was paying somebody else to do his job because his shoulders are totally fubar and he started to owe way too much money to the companies he was distributing for.
Now I know what it is to be in unrelenting pain. I'm a pain patient and on methadone. This brings me to the next and probably final tragedy I have to tell about my life here : 2/3 into a BA's degree in Chemistry I had this badtrip on DOB, I started to punch myself in the face so badly that I've injured my trigeminal nerves, temporomandibular joint on the left part of my face and probably gave myself a concussion. I know this sounds insane but I didn't expect to get a DOB blotter at all. After 16 hours of hell that seemed endless I tried to kill myself this way, cos I didn't have a gun etc. I was extremely and still am I guess experienced with lucy so it's not because I was a noob/inexperienced). I'm just starting to be able to live again, physically at least, when life decided to take more dumps on my mom's head, all because of her goddamn boyfriend. And the following tragedies happening to her affec me a lot. He gave his business to his cousin, his cousin got arrested by the cops because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt while using their toyota four runner, I have no idea why he was in that car, it's not the dairy truck, but he had a 1000+ ticket for that, because it wasn't his car too. My mom's house even though she has 2 apartment with locateers in at the top needs to have it's roof repaired, water tends to go through it sometimes when it rains very hard. She barely is making all her payments even with me living here and giving her 3/4 of my disability money. I maybe found a way to have her 4 sisters and 5 brothers whom she is too prideful to ask help to through the internet. It seems like this will be fine now.
But yesterday, even though the lady at the DMV told my stepdad that even though he had a 1000+ dollars ticket to pay to have the right to drive his car again, my mom could drive it, apparently that wasn't true. The car was probably on watchlist because a cop arrested her yesterday for driving that car, it apparently cannot be on the road until that ticket is paid... another 500+ dollars ticket. I was devastated to see her like that yesterday, I reacted the only way I know of, with anger, asking her what the hell she did to be arrested, that cops in our northern qc small city don't have plaque scanners and they could only have arrested her because of her bad driving. And she does drive not so well.
It turns out somebody is gonna license another car and give it to them meanwhile. But she was so devastated speaking of suicide, even collective suicide of the family etc. I understand her, it seems to affect me even more, I wouldn't be a good son not to be even more devastated than she is. And afterall, she has the only roof under with I can consider live in, I've tried last year to live by myself with my mere 720 dollars a month, and it turns out she always had to bring me food because I was left with so very little money after that. I could have a life partner, but she will endure her asshole official boyfriend since she gave her a kid 2 years ago and I don't even want the little guy to be hurt by a divorce happening, he is starting to be pretty aware of what is going on and I don't want to be the cause of his troubles. But if I could live with her, money would be a lot less problematic, but I cannot even do that, even if I could, I can't give up on my mother.
I'm not asking for suggestions on how to deal with this, I know pretty much what to do. My question is how to deal with life's tragedies which are thrown at us with diverse degrees of cruelty ? Sometimes I find myself totally thinking " a nuke annihilating all life doesn't sound so bad right now". But that doesn't last long and I still really want to do something positive and constructive with my life, I'm about to go back to college and finish that degree, nevermind that the other students will be 5-6 years younger than me, I'm 30, not 60, my life isn't over at all. I'd like to hear like I said from people with a naturalistic and monist point of view only, religious people, or "spiritual" people, please keep away. I really cannot endure "spiritual" people, it seems that if they knew more about science they would understand the world around them a lot better, people who go, "Oh, I do not believe in organized religion but I have my own spirituality" often come to me as ignorant of science or live that way because they are still scared of the big picture questions. I'm just wondering what's my fellow monist and naturalist ways of dealing with tragedy, especially if they are used that random consequences of being a human being in a random universe have hit them pretty hard/ is still hitting their soul (what they feel inside) hard. To me my mom selling her house is unnacceptable, it would render the last 12 years of her existence null and void because when she finally divorced and got a high paid job she put all her money towards this place, we need the strength to keep our sanity and be resourceful and smart about what we do next...
I'm reading Greg Graffin's Anarchy Revolution : Faith, Science and Bad Religion and I find it amazing to finally be able to read the thoughts of the great scientist that's also the head of one of my favourite bands of all time in more than 2/3 min blasts of hardcore punk. I'm getting to the chapter that interested me the most, "Tragedy : The Construction Of A Worldview". Before I even read his thoughts, I'm gonna ask monists and naturalists only who are on this site ? How do you deal with tragedy ? You cannot ignore personal tragedy and what causes one psychological trauma without jeopardizing one's sanity afterall. For example, the world fell to me when 911 happened, no matter what one thinks happened there, it's still a kind of bleak message to my generation (I was 19 then and expecting a great future for myself, I had it all, my parents had finally divorced after 8 years of hell of enduring them screaming and throwing shit at each other when I was 17), my mom bought a house very close to the college I was going to and I didn't need to put myself in insane debt (which I ended up doing because I was kicked out by that idiot lazy piece of shit of a stepdad later who invaded my comfort and took us with his downfall after he lost his business in late 2010). I'm forced to live with my mom now, not because I want to, but she needs the rent money because the guy hasn't made a cent since late 2010. No matter how I try to explain to her that nevermind his physical condition (he lost his dairy distribution business, basically a "milkman" who mostly served grocery stores and restaurants etc.) that he should be looking for a non physical job, or at least something that doesn't have to do anything with shoulders and how it's about time she kicks his ass into action and she's losing everything because of him, she will not act. He lost it because he was paying somebody else to do his job because his shoulders are totally fubar and he started to owe way too much money to the companies he was distributing for.
Now I know what it is to be in unrelenting pain. I'm a pain patient and on methadone. This brings me to the next and probably final tragedy I have to tell about my life here : 2/3 into a BA's degree in Chemistry I had this badtrip on DOB, I started to punch myself in the face so badly that I've injured my trigeminal nerves, temporomandibular joint on the left part of my face and probably gave myself a concussion. I know this sounds insane but I didn't expect to get a DOB blotter at all. After 16 hours of hell that seemed endless I tried to kill myself this way, cos I didn't have a gun etc. I was extremely and still am I guess experienced with lucy so it's not because I was a noob/inexperienced). I'm just starting to be able to live again, physically at least, when life decided to take more dumps on my mom's head, all because of her goddamn boyfriend. And the following tragedies happening to her affec me a lot. He gave his business to his cousin, his cousin got arrested by the cops because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt while using their toyota four runner, I have no idea why he was in that car, it's not the dairy truck, but he had a 1000+ ticket for that, because it wasn't his car too. My mom's house even though she has 2 apartment with locateers in at the top needs to have it's roof repaired, water tends to go through it sometimes when it rains very hard. She barely is making all her payments even with me living here and giving her 3/4 of my disability money. I maybe found a way to have her 4 sisters and 5 brothers whom she is too prideful to ask help to through the internet. It seems like this will be fine now.
But yesterday, even though the lady at the DMV told my stepdad that even though he had a 1000+ dollars ticket to pay to have the right to drive his car again, my mom could drive it, apparently that wasn't true. The car was probably on watchlist because a cop arrested her yesterday for driving that car, it apparently cannot be on the road until that ticket is paid... another 500+ dollars ticket. I was devastated to see her like that yesterday, I reacted the only way I know of, with anger, asking her what the hell she did to be arrested, that cops in our northern qc small city don't have plaque scanners and they could only have arrested her because of her bad driving. And she does drive not so well.
It turns out somebody is gonna license another car and give it to them meanwhile. But she was so devastated speaking of suicide, even collective suicide of the family etc. I understand her, it seems to affect me even more, I wouldn't be a good son not to be even more devastated than she is. And afterall, she has the only roof under with I can consider live in, I've tried last year to live by myself with my mere 720 dollars a month, and it turns out she always had to bring me food because I was left with so very little money after that. I could have a life partner, but she will endure her asshole official boyfriend since she gave her a kid 2 years ago and I don't even want the little guy to be hurt by a divorce happening, he is starting to be pretty aware of what is going on and I don't want to be the cause of his troubles. But if I could live with her, money would be a lot less problematic, but I cannot even do that, even if I could, I can't give up on my mother.
I'm not asking for suggestions on how to deal with this, I know pretty much what to do. My question is how to deal with life's tragedies which are thrown at us with diverse degrees of cruelty ? Sometimes I find myself totally thinking " a nuke annihilating all life doesn't sound so bad right now". But that doesn't last long and I still really want to do something positive and constructive with my life, I'm about to go back to college and finish that degree, nevermind that the other students will be 5-6 years younger than me, I'm 30, not 60, my life isn't over at all. I'd like to hear like I said from people with a naturalistic and monist point of view only, religious people, or "spiritual" people, please keep away. I really cannot endure "spiritual" people, it seems that if they knew more about science they would understand the world around them a lot better, people who go, "Oh, I do not believe in organized religion but I have my own spirituality" often come to me as ignorant of science or live that way because they are still scared of the big picture questions. I'm just wondering what's my fellow monist and naturalist ways of dealing with tragedy, especially if they are used that random consequences of being a human being in a random universe have hit them pretty hard/ is still hitting their soul (what they feel inside) hard. To me my mom selling her house is unnacceptable, it would render the last 12 years of her existence null and void because when she finally divorced and got a high paid job she put all her money towards this place, we need the strength to keep our sanity and be resourceful and smart about what we do next...
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