Bomb319
Bluelighter
I'm on 175 mg methadone with 6 take-homes. Once a week, the night before I pick up again, I often have varying degrees of WD already, as I'm a fast metabolizer. The biggest problem by far for me though is sitting around, getting worse or waiting to get worse, not knowing if I'll be throwing up too much to take my dose by morning (which happens maybe 1 in 3 weeks or so). It's counting down the time until morning when I can go to the pharmacy, knowing I'm not gonna be sleeping for a second that drives me crazy. Maybe I'm just being a baby, as I know perfectly well that I won't have WD as severe as I did when I IV'ed H and pills, but going through it regularly for about 11-12 years now has just totally sapped my ability to deal with so much as excessive yawning (again, because I know what's coming). The time goes by sooooo slowly, and essentially, I'm most anxious about my upcoming anxiety
. And I mean BAD anxiety sometimes to the point where I'm literally screaming and tearing at the walls. A big part of the problem is the variability. I can be almost totally fine, or have advanced WD with sneezing fits, puking and diarrhea. I've tried splitting my doses, but found I was just in a slightly less worse state all the time instead of once a week.
I know the best advice is to "distract myself" by doing something else, but that somehow often makes it worse because it's still there building up subconsciously until it gets worse while doing something rather than doing nothing - at least for awhile.

I know the best advice is to "distract myself" by doing something else, but that somehow often makes it worse because it's still there building up subconsciously until it gets worse while doing something rather than doing nothing - at least for awhile.