How to become a functional heroin user

[fizzymk]

The other day, I was at work and met this new manager at one of my stores, she and I hit it off right away, I love when I meet people like this! So we got to talking about partying, what all we did when we were younger (drugs, alcohol, etc), so I got to joking with her, I asked her to give me some change out of one of the cash registers, I had a bunch of $5. bills and singles and wanted a $50 bill, I was supposed to meet my connection a couple hours later, jokingly told her, I had to make a stop and this 'person' didnt like small bills...she said, if your going to cop, i want to go with you instead of staying at work LOL

Once I was a little more comfortable around her, I asked what she was into currently, I was honest about my drug of choice (heroin), she kind of said, OH, in a not so interested manner, turns out she is into coke, (she has VERY good blow btw), and roxi 15s, which apparently she gets a HUGE supply of each month, kind of strange shes into roxis but not really interested in H..(but I guess everyone has different preferences). I got the impression she liked coke more than the roxis, I know she sells most of the roxis she gets except for the small amount for personal use.

That night, we met and went over to her place, she has a nice condo, in a nice part of town, drives a newer car, lives alone, seems to be doing OK, even though she uses blow every day, said she does a Roxi 15 each night before bed, then wakes up with coke, and uses a little bit thru out the day, she is a store mgr, so she has to put in about 50-60 hours each week, with alot of responsibility and duties, before starting at this job, she was a store mgr at another gas station/convenience store, so shes been doing this kind of work for a long time.

I would LOVE to know how people like this keep their drug use under control and dont get into deep shit situations like I always seem to be in? Besides her, Ive met a few other people like this over the years, somehow they are able to use H ( or other drugs) every day, yet still go to work each day, never miss a day, pay their bills, some have spouses, kids, and seem to maintain this kind of life without letting the drugs take over their lives, ruin their financials, etc....?? Im extremely envious/ jealous of their level of control though!!!

I would like to be a 'functional addict' if that makes any sense or if its possible for a raging heroin junkie (myself) to 'become' one of these types of people?

Anyone care to guess or offer any advice?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

It's all an illusion. Sure they may seem to be functioning, have a nice life aside from the drugs, or have it all to an outsider; but in reality it's not like that at all, and they're in a lot of pain inside, or have other issues.

A lot of times people who are the high functioning addicts don't always realize they have a problem, and do more damage to their bodies or abuse drugs for a longer period of time since they think they don't have a problem and use drugs for decades.

Good luck, and stay safe.

 

[Corazon]

Either her job is one of her 'drugs', or she has an engrained understanding that in order to maintain her lifestyle, she must keep her work life 'official'.

People have different tolerances for what they can use and not have their life fall obviously apart. For some, their life would fall apart if they had a few drinks. Others can do hard drugs every day, as a routine, - until they can't. Age and habit-size catches up to most everyone.

 

[motiv311]

haven't you seen "Wolf of Wall St" .... You work hard, you PLAY hard.... I am a salesman, (and future rock star) ... and the drugs help you get that good kind of "evil" flowing --- where people just want to be around you, be sold on something... . or hear you sing a song.... if shes found a balance she might just hold that for ten years or so.... but usually it leads to massive imbalance and eventually unemployment.... unless your a rock star.... haha

 

[cay]

I shot diluaded and h about every 4 hours a day for the last 5ish years and been doing for almost a decade. And that is just it you know you have x amount of drugs and y amount of money and it will only go so far and if you choose to play with wd you'll end up with no drugs and no money. So you keep on rockin till time catches up with you, you realize staying employed is becoming more difficult and you try your hand at getting sober. At least that's my story.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i've done this for 6 months- h around work. it doesn't really work- it becomes unmanageable. i feel so shit all the time, and so petrified that if none of my contacts are on, i am screwed, unable to work. if i mis estimate my dose before going in, i either get sick or nearly nod out. not good. i am genuinely flabbergasted that no one has pulled me aside to ask why i always feel like shit, and why my work is so shit, cos it must be, i do extremely technical work and convince myself the gear helps (i get amazing work done at home while using) but i am pretty sure the pressure of being an addict ruins my concentration at work. if i use too much at night, it wrecks my sleep, i am a wreck at work. i haven't missed one day, but i've been useless for many. don't do it. it grinds you down so badly. plus depending on the field you work in- the legal aspect, if i got caught, most of the clients my company works for would refuse my services (which require, e.g. full access to trading platforms, payment systems), i'd possibly lose my job.

i don't think I could sustain it much longer and keep my job. the one plus is, i may be difficult to sack because so few people can do what i do and its very valuable to the company i work for. I make them ~150k per year and the work from our team is the only work they ever mention in sales pitches- basically lose us, the company loses its USP.

 

[fizzymk]

i've done this for 6 months- h around work. it doesn't really work- it becomes unmanageable. i feel so shit all the time, and so petrified that if none of my contacts are on, i am screwed, unable to work. if i mis estimate my dose before going in, i either get sick or nearly nod out. not good. i am genuinely flabbergasted that no one has pulled me aside to ask why i always feel like shit, and why my work is so shit, cos it must be, i do extremely technical work and convince myself the gear helps (i get amazing work done at home while using) but i am pretty sure the pressure of being an addict ruins my concentration at work. if i use too much at night, it wrecks my sleep, i am a wreck at work. i haven't missed one day, but i've been useless for many. don't do it. it grinds you down so badly. plus depending on the field you work in- the legal aspect, if i got caught, most of the clients my company works for would refuse my services (which require, e.g. full access to trading platforms, payment systems), i'd possibly lose my job.

i don't think I could sustain it much longer and keep my job. the one plus is, i may be difficult to sack because so few people can do what i do and its very valuable to the company i work for. I make them ~150k per year and the work from our team is the only work they ever mention in sales pitches- basically lose us, the company loses its USP.

I have a pretty good job, Im a corporate rep for a large gas station/convenience store chain, I have 29 stores in my district, I basically have to visit each store twice a month to handle marketing and merchandising duties at the store, my boss lives 2 states away, I dont punch a timecard, but do have to meet monthly deadlines, so my work is fairly flexible, Ive been with them for almost 6 years now.

Up until a couple months ago, I was always able to keep my drug use and work under control, but when I was discharged from my pain mgt doctor for a dirty drug screen, lost my monthly methadone script, so since mid sept, Ive been using H about every day, usually cop every other day, and struggle to make the bags last 2 days.

I used to worry alot about getting busted, but not so much anymore, the way my guy does it, its fairly safe, but if I ever did get caught and arrested, I would loose my job right away, as they were VERY strict about having a clean criminal record when i got hired, right now only thing I have is a charge from when i was 19 yrs old, got caught with alcohol in my car, it wasnt serious enough to stop them from hiring me though, as it was a statutory offense, but a drug possession charge would cost me my job.

My work was definitely went downhill, Im late to work, some days, if Im out of money, I can barely get out of bed, tough to work being dope sick, but now, even when I have dope, I constantly put off work, so I can sit at home and use, I barely made my rent and car payment this month, EVERY other dime I have..goes to dope, I get paid and first thing I do is figure out how much dope I can get, and how little money I can try to live on, just so I can get as much dope as possible...I fucking hate living like this, but w/ds always get the best of me, Im getting to the point though, where I cannot borrow anymore money from anyone, already owe ALOT to a few different people, and of course, 98% of this money went to dope.

I thought about getting a part time job delivering pizza at night, thinking i could use that daily tip money to support my habit, but every pizza place Ive applied at so far do a drug test, so I dont even bother calling them back..but hoping I find one that does not do this, if I got a job like this, I think I could keep my habit under control. Ive delivered pizza years ago, and I remember I would get about $60-100 per 7 hour shift in tips, of course, this kind of job ends up running your car into the ground fast, but its quick and daily money.

 

[Erikmen]

Fizz, when I used to be under opiates all the time I was sure I was doing well at work and still do. But few years later, few colleagues told me they knew I was up to something. They wouldn´t know what I was using precisely but did know that I wasn´t clean - so to speak.
As this job seems very important to you as well as keep a clean file and no police records, how are coping with that?
Do you work everyday or do you often go on sick leave?
About this problem you had with methadone, is that irreversible? Can´t you find your way back in to that routine, or you know for sure it won´t work for you?

 

[Erikmen]

I shot diluaded and h about every 4 hours a day for the last 5ish years and been doing for almost a decade. And that is just it you know you have x amount of drugs and y amount of money and it will only go so far and if you choose to play with wd you'll end up with no drugs and no money. So you keep on rockin till time catches up with you, you realize staying employed is becoming more difficult and you try your hand at getting sober. At least that's my story.

I´m sorry to hear that..I´m sure there might be a way out, but do recognize it´s a bitter situation. Good luck!

 

[fizzymk]

Fizz, when I used to be under opiates all the time I was sure I was doing well at work and still do. But few years later, few colleagues told me they knew I was up to something. They wouldn´t know what I was using precisely but did know that I wasn´t clean - so to speak.
As this job seems very important to you as well as keep a clean file and no police records, how are coping with that?
Do you work everyday or do you often go on sick leave?
About this problem you had with methadone, is that irreversible? Can´t you find your way back in to that routine, or you know for sure it won´t work for you?

well, so far I still have my job, I BARELY met my deadline last month, this month though, as money gets tougher and tougher to get every day, I end up working less and less, and really can only do any work when Im on dope..too fucking sick otherwise!

Ive been making up false excuses to tell my boss the past couple weeks, recently told him my bank acct was frozen unexpectedly due to someone writing me a bad check, and this was the reason I couldnt work much this past week, (no money for gas, other expenses), One week last month, I told him my car would not start, then it was going to be in the shop for like 4 days, of course all was lies, but he is still believing me as he has not fired or written me up yet, but I cant continue to make up excuses much longer or he will fire me.

Im getting to the tipping point though, where I will have to change my life or Im going to end up with NO job, no money and nowhere to live.

Ive been off methadone for close to 2 months, and really do not want to go back on that shit, but the methadone clinic may be my only option...That place will cost me about $500 a month, but Im spending much more than that on dope these past couple months, Im almost broke now though, spent a good deal of my recent check on dope as usual.

Regarding the clean police record...so far so good, not even any close calls (keeping my fingers crossed though), Like I said, Im not really worried about getting caught when I cop, the way my connection does this now, is pretty fail safe, it would be tough for police to figure this method out, they have been using this method for awhile now, and they are constantly driving around delivering dope to their people, all day every day, they start taking calls/ texts around 11am, and go up until about 10pm, this is ALL they do, dont work a legit job anymore, they are too busy running dope around....whats really funny about this, they started selling to support their habits, but they are still making KILLER money... I have thought about dealing to support my habit, but I think I would end up using my stash instead of keeping enough to keep my people supplied, so I doubt dealing would work for me.

 

[The Doc.]

I was a completely functional heroin addict for 8 years or so, well prescription opiates for 4 years then IV heroin after that for another 3-4 years. I sold heroin I would have a kilo on hand most days nearly uncut china white heroin from this Asian guy I knew got it straight from the source overseas. I even still worked 50-60 hours a week and would even work while dope sick when things got dry for a day or two. I did a tough job too working in forestry cutting big logs with a chainsaw all by myself just worked my fingers to the bone and had many accidents too where I ended up hurt.

I did this for about 4 years I watched the sun rise every morning high as shit slumped over on my couch only to do it all over again the next day.
Eventually I got sick and tired of the drug life and how lonely I felt. I always thought since I functioned everyday I never missed a day at work ever so i thought that it was fine to keep using because I'm not like some of my friends i met in detox who beg their parents for money or steal from their family.

It was weird in detox everybody I met had lost their job and was on welfare or disability since where I live addiction is considered a disability worthy of receiving a check from the government every month. They all had no family left who wanted anything to do with them and were all dysfunctional losers in a sense.

I figured I was fine to continue doing dope as I supported my family I worked and I came home and made dinner like a normal person. Even though I had track marks everywhere and my kidneys/liver were shot along with my spirit, my zest for life and sanity all taken from me i thought it was all good i wasnt hurting anyone i figured i deserve everything i get i chose this life now i have to play these cards that's just the way it is people don't change i always thought.It wasn't until someone said to me yes I know you function normally you come home you make your meals like everybody else blah blah blah but is that all you want out of life? Don't you want to make relationships and have a girlfriend mabye travel or go to school. I realised all I did was break my back working 10 hours a day and sold/used dope the rest of the time. I was fine I just wasn't happy. I never had a girlfriend and I was alienating people out of my life because of my love for dope. I never pursued my dreams of working in the medical industry and I had accepted my life knowing I was trapped by this ball and chain you call heroin and cocaine. Now today I'm on my way to med school Ill be working in the lab at the hospital once I finish my last course in about 8months then I hope to complete the MD undergraduate program the nearest med school offers and hopefully be a doctor one day. If I was still doing dope I know for a fact this would not be possible and my confidence is only this way because I no longer use dope.

Even a functional addict isn't happy and if you are not functioning now its only going to get worse if you don't stop it doesn't all of a sudden get better and there won't be an unlimited supply of dope falling in your lap anytime soon.

 

[Xorkoth]

I don't think it's possible. I've never met anyone who used heroin and didn't at least eventually slide into an unsustainable and terrible situation. The same is more or less true of any drug you're addicted to but strong opiates are extra difficult to control. I'd say that in general if you've ever been to an out of control place with a strongly addictive drug, you will end up there again unless you just stop using it entirely.

 

[Dark Side]

You cant , you will just be stuck in the fear of not being able too obtain like fizz said. 15 roxy's a night is not casual use at all its a disaster waiting to happen. Ask yourself how on earth she would cope without these substances. She wouldn't cope she would break down

And she will do, because nothing lasts forever especially drug sources.