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How much does your sexuality define you?

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warpaint

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
74
im 20 and since i was maybe 10 or 12 i was starting to become aware of my sexuality. i started masturbating maybe around 13 or 14 and i always had rough fantasies, being dominated. at first it was more about being in submissive positions but as yrs passed my fantasies of being dominated have broadened. id always thought my fantasies of liking it rly rough made me "different" for some reason, in the sense that they were uncommon. it wasnt rly until when i was maybe 17 or 18 when i realized that people have become more open about sex, or at least it seemed so on the internet, particularly tumblr. i started to see that my fantasies were more common than i thought and that they arent rly taboo. despite being slightly relieved that i wasnt fucked up for liking it so rough, i suddenly didnt feel so "different" anymore. it sounds really stupid and naive but i secretly liked knowing that i had a dirty, wild side in contrast to my shy personality and it turned me on with how taboo it all felt. i never was the type of girl who would put it all out there or dated a lot, but that dirty side of me felt like a secret that id only share with someone special. so knowing now that im not so different from a lot of girls when it comes to sex makes me feel mediocre, average. i know that we are more than our bodies and sexuality, but i guess i sort of let that define me for a while, since i didnt (and still dont) have much of an idea of who i am.

am i the only one who;s thought or felt this way?
dont get me wrong though... i am happy that society has become more open about sex, and that girls are able to feel more comfortable expressing their sexuality and not be ashamed by it.
 
I was like that in high school, kept to myself tried to deny my feelings of being sexual and suppressed it until college came. This is the time when I had the guts and thought that life is too short to contain what I really feel inside. I'm very open to sex and I really don't care as to what society think of me etc as long as I am not hurting anyone's feelings. :)
 
i felt cool and crazy as a teen with my sex choices/desires. they still are a bit deviant, but its like cigarettes

once they were novel and cool. but now they're just standard (not that i smoke but the cool is long gone hence analogy)
 
i wouldn't say my sexuality defines me at all but right now i just want to fuck 24/7 and we can't keep our hands off each other and i think it's actually quite good and nice and wonderful.i was talking to my friend about it, i'm an "all or nothing" kind of person and i fell in love with guy coming off being in love with the same asshole i had for 7 years but it's BETTER and he's very sexual and it's good because it kind of fucks the crazy out of me. it kind of rewires my brain to be better. i don't know. at least it's a pleasurable mental problem. excuse me, mental solution.
 
I can understand why you would have those feelings, but I think sexuality is one of those things that you really have to fight to not be defined by. I could rant about that for pages...it's like when I dunno, a friend's telling me about someone and says 'his name is [...] and he's gay', as if that were the guy's one defining characteristic. Why do I care if he's gay? I think society makes our sexuality into something it isn't - ie. it makes us think our sexuality is who we are, when it's really not. It's a part of us, yes, but not an overwhelming or excessively important one.
Point being that maybe you should try to look for other ways to define yourself? There are definitely things in you that make you special and that are more important than what you like in bed :)
 
sexuality used to define me, it was all i thought about and my life was centered around it. *Eventually I* was finally able to utilize the higher functions of my intelligence without constantly thinking about fucking a girl in close proximity lol.

i keep my dirty perversions to myself but i'm not defined by them anymore, even going through the internet, i don't find others who share quite the same interests i do lol.

sorry pagey thought we could glorify them in here. It's truly how i felt from them though. They caused a profound change in my thinking that i didn't think was possible, and i truly feel it helped me focus on more intellectual things.
 
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I have always used my sexuality as a 'tool', used my attractiveness to get what I want. I like this. Gives me a feeling of power. But I do have psych issues and I'm sure that is connected. Now I am getting 'older' but still sexy. Hope it never goes away. I like being categorized as 'hot', but of course there are many other interesting, great things about me. I am fairly pedestrian when it comes to what I desire, but I love that beginning of a relationship when you just want to fuck all day, every day. Haven't had that in a while. Coming out of committed relationship now, looking forward to new horizons. But it does get harder as you get older.
 
My sexuality sprouts from my love of women...

I find that it is best to experiment, try new things all the time...
Weither it be going really far right on the freakiness, or keeping it tame, I feel like my sex is for every woman that wants it.

I am more than happy to please, because we all do it for the same reasons... Pleasure, love, and procreation...
 
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