How Long Should a Girl Wait Before Getting it on?
- Thread starter pokes
- Start date
Bearlove
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2009
- Messages
- 20,415
(Don't use swim)
Do you want to hook up with another guy? If 'you' do then its soon enough
If you don't then its too soon.
Your ex is your ex and you should keep out of his business and he yours.
(If you do tell your ex, make sure your not swimming at the time :D)
Do you want to hook up with another guy? If 'you' do then its soon enough
If you don't then its too soon.Your ex is your ex and you should keep out of his business and he yours.
(If you do tell your ex, make sure your not swimming at the time :D)
pokes
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2013
- Messages
- 42
Good point. Sorry I have only been a member on here for an hour, not so sure about how people go about talking on here yet. I'm also concerned that people who I like thinking less of me because I had sex with them within a certain time frame. I'm not one for one night stands, but what about within the first week of knowing the guy? Will he think less of me if I don't wait until we are actually dating to have sex?
Shadowsblaze
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2013
- Messages
- 1,111
Yes he might it depends on his character. And if you have friends in common it can cause rumors about you if he has a big mouth.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2012
- Messages
- 4,393
If you really have feelings for someone and you spend a lot of time together in the first 3-4 days and it feels right, what does it matter? My girlfriend of 6 years we had sex on the 3rd day and we've lived together ever since, but it's kind of an unusual case I guess.
If you aren't putting any limitations on yourself as far as having to be in a relationship to have sex, I don't think it really matters how long you wait...The only girls I actually think of as "sluts" are ones who's self-esteem is so low that they go around and almost pathologically start sleeping with a bunch of different guys...especially if it's a bunch of guys who are all in the same circle of friends and she's leading them all on and creating problems....That's not cool...
also, it's none of your exes business who you decide to date, but if you guys are still hanging out in the same circle of people and you're sneaking around so he won't find out, that IS a recipe for disaster. Unless you genuinely have feelings for one of your mutual friends, I'd avoid fooling around with your mutual friends. Of course, guys are notorious for doing this kind of shit, partly because it's generally the easiest way to get a quick lay....but it's bad morally, not cool...
If you aren't putting any limitations on yourself as far as having to be in a relationship to have sex, I don't think it really matters how long you wait...The only girls I actually think of as "sluts" are ones who's self-esteem is so low that they go around and almost pathologically start sleeping with a bunch of different guys...especially if it's a bunch of guys who are all in the same circle of friends and she's leading them all on and creating problems....That's not cool...
also, it's none of your exes business who you decide to date, but if you guys are still hanging out in the same circle of people and you're sneaking around so he won't find out, that IS a recipe for disaster. Unless you genuinely have feelings for one of your mutual friends, I'd avoid fooling around with your mutual friends. Of course, guys are notorious for doing this kind of shit, partly because it's generally the easiest way to get a quick lay....but it's bad morally, not cool...
Shadowsblaze
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2013
- Messages
- 1,111
I think it depends on your age too. If your young this type of decision should be made with care because boys have one thing on there mind and conquests are a thing of pride that they spread like wildfire. But love can still develop and that's the key, give it time to see if he's sincere. A month or more is not a long time and if he pressures you a lot saying you know I love you during that time be suspect. And even an adult, discreetly see what you can find out about his past relationships and again don't be subject to pressure. If a person likes you and is serious about a relationship he will wait, he'll be happy with himself as well. Take care girl and the best to you.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2012
- Messages
- 9,460
The only time when it's too soon to hook up is if you don't want to yet. Some people will judge you for hooking up quickly, others won't. Some people will also judge you if you don't hook up quickly enough. There's no right answer here honestly, so just do as you see fit and as you'd like - and deal with the other person's reaction accordingly (it's usually pretty easy to figure out how they feel about that matter anyway). I personally find that it's healthy to wait for a while after a breakup before hooking up with anyone else simply because it tends to delay the healing process, but I'm sure that depends on the person. So yeah, basically just do whatever you want. Also no, you don't really have any obligation to tell your ex anything.
skittlesxo
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2013
- Messages
- 153
everyone is different....but usually for me, i would say wait at least 3 weeks before hooking up...
llama112
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,471
Whenever you meet a guy you want to date or sleep with, go for it.
Do you tell your ex? No you don't. It's none of his business. Mostly the reasons someone tells their ex when they are seeing someone new is a) they want their ex to be jealous b) they still aren't over their ex. Not saying those are the only two options but both of those seem to happen quite a bit. There is absolutely no reason to tell him.
Do you tell your ex? No you don't. It's none of his business. Mostly the reasons someone tells their ex when they are seeing someone new is a) they want their ex to be jealous b) they still aren't over their ex. Not saying those are the only two options but both of those seem to happen quite a bit. There is absolutely no reason to tell him.
Shadowsblaze
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2013
- Messages
- 1,111
People often feel guilty and responsible for the split, others innocent and harmed by it. His being controlling is bad enough hopefully he wasn't abusive, and wouldn't cause future problems. Your life is in your hands now try to start anew. Pagey's advice is simple and sound, I think you will do well following suit. From my point of view, luck of the Irish to you.lol
gm777
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2011
- Messages
- 110
It's none of your ex-boyfriends business who you sleep with. You shouldn't be ashamed of, or feel regret for doing so either. If he finds out, then he finds out. If people are calling you a ho, I'd be suspect of them as being real friends anyway. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. When you are young, guys can bang all the chicks they want and be considered as "studs" while the females are considered as "sluts or hos". This is a pretty unfair and immature way of viewing sexual relations. It may take you a while to gain the self confidence to not have worry what others might think of your actions, but once you do, you won't even have to worry about questions like this...this is something you have to learn with time though IMO.
Last edited:
sconnie420
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2012
- Messages
- 1,185
^this
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2012
- Messages
- 9,460
Might seem hard to believe but it actually really isn't if you can get to a place where you don't care what others may think about your sex life - seriously, if you make it clear you don't give a damn (though obviously you have to actually not give a damn) people really won't be bothered with judging you. Don't let stupid gender 'rules' affect you.