Yeah there is a real nastiness to heroin couples (and other types of drugs to) you always see them squabbling over dope and shit. But having only one of the two who is doing that shit is toxic in it's own way. Weird codependencies and infantilization of the addiction, either that or willful ignorance that anything is wrong in the first place.
totally agree. i had one heroin addict boyf who even though we were both using every day, i was the 'responsible' one. i.e. going out to work, earning money, letting him live in my place and eat for free and supporting both our habits. i definitely infantilised him to some extent, though i was also obsessed with what he was doing at all times- i'd be sitting in work wondering if he was scoring and so fucking jealous.
other heroin addict boyf infantilised me. like he'd physically move me out the way if there was dog shit in the road cos he didn't think i was capable of noticing it and stepping out the way myself. he also ended up leaching off me badly in the end. then when i lost my job and started prostituting myself he had a massive go at me and i eventually dumped him. fucking idiot tried to give me £25 of crack to stop selling my body. i could earn £40 in 15 minutes. he was also a violent bastard.
he'd supported his own habit when we'd met but eventually it was somehow me paying everything again. even after i dumped him he would come pounding at the door at 5am shouting at me and calling me a whore until i gave him some dark cos somehow him being ill and not being prepared to do anything to get money to get well was my responsibility.
in terms of the OP- i had one boyf who wasn't a smackhead while i was addicted. i'd mentioned to him while drunk one day that i'd tried heroin. we met through mutual friends and everyone in that circle used party drugs so he knew about them. a couple of weeks later, while drunk again, he was like 'i want to try heroin' and i responded 'sure i have some at home' at which point he twigged. apparently its not normal to just have heroin lying around at home. who'd have thought!
i then moved down to norwich with that guy to get away with this dealer who was raping me and making my life just a constant terror. i was getting obsessed with murdering him so i needed to get away. he just expected me to quit when i moved down. i managed to cross addict onto alcohol, which he was into in a big way, for a few months then he tried to strangle me for the first time at which point i hated him and went back on the dark. the selfish cunt didn't even notice. he dumped me 6 months later so i was in a town where i knew hardly anyone, with massive trauma from what had been going on before i moved down, added trauma from thinking i was going to be murdered by my fucking boyfriend, and a long term heroin problem.... did not end well.
