Does anybody else feel like your head is all fogged up? I've been off opiates for about 1 3/4 months after a 2 year "binge" and I can't seem get my head to clear up.
Yep. About 2.5 months off all drugs now after 3 year binge (10 years total), and still have head fog plus massive lack of motivation. I feel like I was doing better a month ago when everything was shiny & new post-opiates. I have so little energy, I dread things like lacing up my Docs or getting the mail. OTOH, 3 months ago the mudroom of my house was filled to about 2' up the wall with 3 years of neglected mail, so I guess things are moving forward. Every day is a slog and I feel little-to-no forward momentum, but fuck it, at least I'm not chock full of oxy and vicodin and soma anymore.
Like others have said, I relied on drugs for so long, I don't even know what normal looks like for me anymore. The last time I was sober for any length of time, I was in my twenties, living in another state, working, etc. Now? I'm in my early 40's, haven't worked for 10 years, and wake up everyday thinking "how the hell do I rebuild a worthwhile life out of ten years of ruin and neglect when I barely have the energy to strap my boots on?"
I feel like I should provide some small measure of positivity, so I will say this: I DO get up every day, and shower, and put on some makeup, and try to leave the house once a day. I can now stand up for more than 10 minutes without feeling like I am going to collapse. I'm dreaming again at night, and not about drugs, but nice dreams, wish-fulfillment dreams. The sunshine makes me feel an old,muted stirring of hope some days. And the infernal fucking sneezing has slowed to about 10-20x/day from 200x/day the first month. That's about all I have today. Maybe tomorrow will be better.