How Easy To Lose Someone Close

I almost lost my friend and ex-girlfriend yesterday. She wanted to commit suicide. She shot some greater amount of heroin. Luckily, my friend got back from work and found her just in time. She was so poisoned, they gave her naloxone. I was shocked when my friend called me and told the story. I wanted to go there right away but I had a few things to do in my city. We both had some job to do that night but she discharged from hospital... We decided someone must stay with her so she won't do anything stupid again. I went to Warsaw and took care of her.

We talked all night long. Later she fell asleep. I couldn't. I woke her up some time later and we went for a car and I drove us home. She only studies in Warsaw but she's from the same city I am. Christmas is almost here, she has a break at the university and I thought it would be safe if she got back home earlier and were with family.

And me. I've been on methadone for around a month now. I'm low now but I still have days when I take more like today. Anyway, I will soon finish methadone. I'm totally broke. The girl I was to go to the party before the final exams backed out with some ridiculous lie. Luckily, I found a girl who would go with me. She's totally different and we get along.

I'm really totally broke. I don't feel like living anymore. I see no point in living. There is no sense in life. There is nothing to wait for. There is nothing I can do. I'm in too deep. This is not about drugs, this is about my disease. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. It's killing me slowly. But it eventually will. Forever.

 

Hey

I'm borderline too.

Sometimes I feel like I can't take it anymore.... like it's killing me too. I just have to keep telling myself that there are things in life that make it worth living... even if there isn't a point. Try to think on all the past joys of your life. Even the bad times have value, I think, looking back.

Anyway, I just wanted to extend a virtual hand. I think i know what you're going through to an extent. It sucks but know the value of just your posts is extremely useful to many whom you probably don't even know you touch. I know I've found great wisdom in your words. Hang in there.

I'm sorry about your girlfriend's attempt. I hope you two are stable and happy and able to move on as quickly and painlessly as possible.

 

Not to trivilalise your predicament but you should always keep in mind that life changes on a dime. As low as you feel right now there will be times when you feel that much in top of it all. Life is worth hanging on for that alone. I am sure you have many other reasons as well. Just always keep in the game.

 

Maybe you can PM me. I've been struggling with the thought of suicide and if anyone would even care and if they did would it be that big of a deal?
Thanks