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How do you know when you're a meth addict?

jsnake

jsnake

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Mar 18, 2009
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you're momma
Ever since my first experience with crystal meth, and moreso the last few weeks now that I've been using it more often, I've been wondering this. Are we all doomed? Physically, yes. Mentally, well, only you can say that. Since this weekend, I've begun to associate my use with being more sociable, confident and in general being more out-there when I hit the town. As well as fidgety. Fuck me, I can't stop shaking. I've got bad enough restless leg syndrome when I'm sobre. The point being, I have an entirely new image of myself when I'm in a pub on shard. Which is kind of dangerous because naturally I'm a pretty shy bloke who doesn't easily make friends or chat up chicks on a whim. There's nothing actually stopping me from going out and having a few pots without it, but now I'm worried that I'm gonna, to some extent, feel that I need this shit to go out and have a good time. I did sign up for this, I guess...
The way meth works, it's not meant to be controllable. If you go into it thinking you can stop at any time, that you're not going to feel some kind of need for it further down the line, you're in for a world of hurt. See, I've heard as many ice horror stories as I have heroin, but where I live heroin isn't incredibly prevalant. It's still some kind of crack den, ghetto fantasy, and in the social scene that I've grown into (good ol' Melbourne), it's really frowned upon to use it at all. Ice on the other hand is like the latest trend. The new pokemon cards. It's gained some kind of acceptance, maybe because of the completely contrasting states of mind that these drugs put you into. Or maybe because my social group tells a story. But, I have two best friends that I see regularly. One of them uses it occasionally, following no real pattern and only if my other friend gets a half gram or something. Then again, he's pretty broke presently, so he doesn't have much of a chance to abuse it. My other friend is quite regular now. He's also an everyday He went on a huge binge on his work holidays, then went clean for 6 weeks or so. Then we got some about a month ago, and now he's back into using it every weekend or so. I can see patterns emerging in him already. And he's really easy to convince into scoring. I guess we're both peer pressuring each other.
To summarize this stuff is getting into my social circle pretty successfully. I don't like it... or do I? I don't ever wanna see any of us get to the point of no return, where our neurotransmitters are so fried we need the stuff just to keep ourselves from being suicidal. I don't know if I'm overthinking this shit, but I do know we're in treacherous terrority messing with ice. I'm not entirely sure what I want from this thread, for comments or advice on our usage, thoughts and experiences about meth use and abuse, or just to vent my thoughts on it. I think I'm thinking about it way too much, even thinking about how bad it is. Lol...
Anyway. Thoughts?
 
But it keeps me aware of my situation and makes me more sociable and easier to talk to and also improves my self-perception to a realistic level. This makes me much more confident and approachable in a club setting. How is that not good?
 
Of course its good, its drugs they are meant to make you feel good that's kinda the whole point isn't it ?

Just read a bit here about how Meth has recked peoples lives and health, its not something you can be messing about with for long before it will suck you in and will mean more to you than pretty much anything else.

You in the honeymoon period and it all seems great, which it probably is, nows the time to bail out, that way you've had the good time and not trashed your life. Don't fall into the trap opf thinking you can keep a handle on using a substance like that especially when you place so much importance on it giving you confidence etc. that's a real concern as its clearly filling a gap or helping you overcome problems that can;t be solved by drugs in the long term.

Best Wishes
 
Of course it is, I was giving a one-dimensional reply to a one-dimensional response.
I don't need to read on here to know how badly meth can fuck your life up. I've got people around me who've seen the damage this shit causes to tell me that. And people I know who have tried to quit never, ever forget how good it was watching that smoke swirl around. And more than anything, I see the risks involved with trying to improve myself in any sense by using a drug, most of all meth. But now that I've crossed the threshold of using, and now that my friend who I see regularly is showing no sign of quitting, that doubt is always gonna be in my mind when I know he's using. I don't think I can control my usage. Hard drugs aren't designed to be controllable. That's one of the most devious parts about them, that they trick you like that by redesigning and warping your brain and making it a permanant bitch to function without them. The feeling isn't even that good when you push to the limits of tweaking.
I know I'm in a trap. Otherwise I wouldn't have bothered writing this without a particular question. I only have one question, and that's a question none of you here will ever be able to tell me. All I want from this is some kind of reassurance from anyone who has any idea of what I'm going through with this drug situation. And I guess it helps just having a place to tell my story. It's sort of all around me, now that I've opened my eyes to it. I'm worried...
 
There's some great advice in this thread. This is not something you will be able to maintain forever. A lot of people enjoy how they are, but that's only when you're on the drug and soon you're going to need to feel that way all of the time and the meth won't leave you alone. Everyday he is going to get up and bother you and continuously harm your body. Talk to many people on this forum and you'll be able to tell that methamphetamine use is hard to maintain and habituation is an extremely unpleasant experience. Meth is a very deceptive drug.
 
Heroin not prevalent in Melbourne? You must be from the other side of town ;)

I was a meth addict for many years. I think you know that noone can tell you how your use will progress with this drug. I know plenty of people who have used meth, they don't all follow the same trajectory. Some people get fucked up, some people have periods where they binge, some are able to keep it recreational. There's only one way to find out which one you'll be, and that you turn out to be one of the unlucky ones is the risk you take.

It's obvious you've thought a lot about the possibilities with this drug, now you need to decide what you're going to do about it.
 
Well it easy to test it are you iwlling to stop a month? If you are do it and if you feel a wanting (mental or physical) your adicted if not then you arent. I still wouldnt continue with it casue it is just so dangerous it literally melts your brain its the worst drug that their is it does the worst thinks. It worst than crack worst than heroin and worst than Any phycadelica or disosiative! I meen meth is the gateway to hell. It has so many difrent horrible side effkets and it is also well known for destroying the users since it keeps you awake oftenly up to 5 days. So as soon as you notice big eye rings checks that are pointing inwards and that your getting skinny its really time to stop if your still able to.

Also if your agressive agains other people and feel the wanting of the drug.

Well an their are many storys I have read about meth. None of them are good. The first One I read I casn basicly put to gether in oen sentance. this is what the guy said not me "I took it once and knew I was never able to quit again and so it has been for the last past 5 years Im braking from the inside." A nother one is about a woman who has a child wo managed stopping once for 2 months and then came back to it after her mother died. "I am waiting for meth to kill me I cant live on this way. Its ether meth or life and I cant quit. Im waiting for it to get me and it will get me someday. I have a doughter and I meen she doesnt know me anyother way then when im not on meth. I need help but I dont want help. Im waiting for the devil to open his arms and take me down to hell. My life is over!"

The sad part is I dint even make these up. So you see you still have a chance so do your freinds. But once your hooked your hooked you gotta stop. If you really have to contine some hind of high that is stong atleast smoke weed in a water pipe it will give you your wanted effekt.
 
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You know you're a meth addict when you keep using, despite the negative results far outweighing the positive effects. For me, in the end, there were essentially no positive effects whatsoever.
 
My 2 little sense... If you have to ask it you are an addict, then it's pretty good guess that yes you are an addict. If you keep using, and questioning that you addicted, I think the proof is in your own words. Plus studies suggest that meth is by far one of most addicting drugs out there, so perhaps you may have only done it a few times and may not "officially" have an addiction to it, to continue to use will most definitely result in you being completely addicted. So my suggestion is too stop now while you are in a sort of sober mind set and tell your self to put the pipe down other wise you it may become a Siamese twin with your meth pipe. Best of luck.
 
My 2 little sense... If you have to ask it you are an addict, then it's pretty good guess that yes you are an addict.
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Agreed, I was going to say something similar to that as well.
 
Thanks for the replies guys.
lars90 said:
Also if your agressive agains other people and feel the wanting of the drug.
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I react that little bit more aggressively in the coming days after a binge on meth, like not as in full on exploding and yelling cunts down, but like I raise my voice a bit more than usual and argue a point more aggressively. I guess that's not such a bad thing at this point. I can take it or leave it at the end of a night on shard, but this weekend I got some extra at the end cos I had enough cash for it. Got like nothing out of it though.
DexterMeth said:
You know you're a meth addict when you keep using, despite the negative results far outweighing the positive effects. For me, in the end, there were essentially no positive effects whatsoever.
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I see your point. You get next to nothing out of it towards the second day of it, at least in my limited experience. You said that in past tense though, does that mean you got clean in the end? How have you held up since?
I don't think I have an addiction to it per-say yet, as in my emotional state of mind is so crippled from brain damage caused by it that I need it to stop myself from wanting to die. But I know that's a sinking boat if I keep taking shit on a regular basis. I get the impression that everyone who smokes it is addicted on some level, from how meth works on your neurotransmitters. I'm gonna have to man up and leave it for a few weeks at the very least I think. Couldn't hurt, right? It takes a mad toll on my weight as well, it's hard enough to get fatter as it is. I get the impression that my friend is gonna be tweakin out this weekend as well though, if the past month or so tells a tale. Might have to skip him if that's the case...
 
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people who aren't addicted typically don't spend their time wondering if they are addicts.

its possible to get out from the grips of this and the sooner the better. Its a terrible feeling in the beginning when we stop using but it gets easier over time.

Dude told me once that if I want to stay clean, all ya have to do is change everything. All those old ideas, attitudes and behaviors that we've acquired, practiced and developed no longer have any real value. Simply put, if we keep doing the same things we've always done, we'll keep getting the same things we always got.

Maybe its time to change it up and start living as opposed to merely existing
 
^^^^^

Them wise words from OD and Pain (my main man;)), its clear from your posts that this drug is already affecting he way you deal with other people, and thats just on the internet.

I've no of experience of Meth, it is still quite a rarity in the UK but addiction is addiction, you know if you really feel you need it or not, if you manage to get away with regular Meth use and not end up a mess your going to make up a very very tiny proportion of users.

I'd get off the train now before its too late, it's not worth the risk, which is very high and will probably cost you everything you hold dear today.

Best Wishes
 
Well when you bought it what did you feel? I meen was it jsut for pure plessure did you have to have it again cause it felt so good the last few times?
 
jsnake said:
Of course it is, I was giving a one-dimensional reply to a one-dimensional response.
I don't need to read on here to know how badly meth can fuck your life up.
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Well actually you do. The point of it is you need to listen to what others have shared with their experiences, the good, the bad, nd the ugly. Point is that you asked us if you were addicted to meth. The honest to god's truth is we are not you. We do not know how you tolerate this drug, nor how your mind works with regards to addiction or the state of you mental well being, nor your complete environmental surroundings. The best we can do is tell you our thoughts to your situation, some of the advise may be dead on and some may not be, so we need to enforce in the case of harm reduction what you should expect if you continue down the road you are on. It's not a pretty one and truthfully only you can answer your question. One point to note is that while you may not have experienced any negative aspects of smoking meth at this time, and it almost seems like you are looking for someone to reassure you that you re not an addict and to continue what your doing. I can tell you now that no one in their right mind would tell you that, due in part to the severe effects of being involved with the meth. So its with that we need to emphasize what is likely to happen to you addict or not.

jsnake said:
I only have one question, and that's a question none of you here will ever be able to tell me. All I want from this is some kind of reassurance from anyone who has any idea of what I'm going through with this drug situation. And I guess it helps just having a place to tell my story. It's sort of all around me, now that I've opened my eyes to it. I'm worried...
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I am not sure exactly what "reassurance" you are looking for. If you looking for reassurance that your an addict? Again, we can not tell you for sure, we can however tell you that your behaviors are indicative to someone who is an addict or becoming an addict and your talking about a drug that has the highest dependency rate of any street drug today.

As my good friend atm23 has already said that you are currently riding you honeymoon period. The time at which you may not be fully in the wraps of the drug, and you are enjoying it with no ill effect. The fact that you are in this honeymoon period is the time where you should strongly consider stopping before you come back from your honeymoon and the fun between you and meth grow and unbreakable bond, to death do you part. Again, noone here can really give you ny kind of reassurance that you are or not an addict, but point is you need to end it before something happens to you that is irreversible. That's about the best answer any of us can give.

Keep in mind also that the reason people are constantly telling you the potential consequences of your actions is because they are sharing their story's of what meth has done to them as there is no way to honestly "reassure" you of anything except that with your current behavior you will become an addict, as with meth, you do not control them meth, it will not doubt control you.

I am hoping you can understand by what I have said and the reasons why you are not getting the "reassurance" or answer that you are looking for. We are not you and can only state it as we see it, and from personal experience. I myself have not experiences with meth, so all I can share is the underlying facts and understanding of being an addict and addictive behaviors. My DOC what Alcohol, but the under lying disease, and the mechanisms there of are no different. We are not going to keep going further with this until you get the answer you are looking for as that does no one any good.

I mean think about it, if you are looking for "reassurance" that you are not, is not something anyone here id going to give you as well are not here to give you a reason to get high, but rather giving you all the reasons why you should stop before if comes to late. No matter what the addictions or no matter what the drug, addiction to meth for you is going to occur if you put it down while you still have chance. I sure hope this helps a little as to why we are giving you the answers that we did, and can not give you any answer that you are looking for. Feel free to keep this thread open and active for ever (or until a mod god closes the thread), either way, the reassurance you are looking for is not going to happen here. All my best, and PM me if you would like to discuss this one on one since this thread is just becoming redundant because you have not willing to accept the answers we are giving you and that will not change. What you do with this information is upto you, however, the redundancy of the answers in this thread are really unnecessary as we are all pretty much giving you the same advice.

Peace,

-Pain
 
I'm not looking for someone to justify my drug habits for me, let alone in TDS out of all places. I think a better word would have been reinforcement, to hear from a complete stranger with experience on the topic to tell me what I already know instead of hearing it from my buddies. That's why I made ths. You're right about the first part you quoted, me needing to hear other Bluelighter's stories and experiences with meth to understand where I could end up with this. But I've heard enough of them beyond Bluelight to know where I'm headed. I also understand that the way meth works on your mind is designed to be uncontrollable, and that the degrading of neurotransmitters and dependency on the drug to keep you from becoming abysmally depressed in response to that, is permanant, which is why users never really ever get over meth and why 93% of users that detox relapse.
Also, I didn't mean to sound nippy about that guy, but it was a pretty one-sided comment, and I'm pretty sure a lot of addicts would respond a lot worse if you were to tell them to put down the pipe.
Anyways, thanks for the replies everyone. It's hard to comprehend how fucking bad this shit really is at this point. But I know what I gotta do. I'll miss it for a few weeks and see how long I can make the resolution last. That's probably not the best attitude to go with. But I can't let myself go like this. Thanks guys, for telling me not to fuck myself.
 
I went on to daily use as soon as i started meth, but i have insane well power and threw away quality shards and have yet to touch it again. As others have said, in the long run nothing good will come out of it. Meth is full of false promises, a dopamine spurt in the brain followed by a dopamine drought.
 
Best of luck jsnake sounds like you have a plan, your doing the right thing your at that cross roads, put that sucker into drive and head in the opposite direction to Meth with your foot firmly planted into the carpet ;) You'll find a better town down the road at some point but th road might get a little bumpy on the way.

Best Wishes and stick around you must have wi-fi in that car !
 
Damn F1n that would have been the world's worst comedown after that -.-
Cheers man, it's not always on my mind during the week usually except as a fleeting FML thought if something pissed me off. If I live in the land of normality like I should, and stay away from the guys when they're pippin up, I should be right. I know deep down it's what has to be done, I can't do this all the time and it's so fucking expensive (like most drugs -.-) in Australia. Plus no more god damn comedowns :)
 
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