Mental Health How do you deal with people who don't understand mental health?

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Whenever I tell people I'm bipolar they assume I get pissed off easily. Which isn't true at all. Theres such a stigma people often say that someone who is rude or angry is "bipolar" as an insult. So I don't tell people about it. I do admit to ADD cause its one of the only socially acceptable mental disorders (compared to the others).

ADD/ADHD is considered a "learning" disability-- not necessarily a mental disorder. It's the same reason people will say they are dyslexic due to a spelling/reading error. It's to avoid being labeled "stupid" which also has that stigmatization.

 

[RobotRipping]

I couldn't care less whether people believe in the validity of MY mental illness. What sucks is when people deny their own psychological problems. You know the type: lives a dangerously chaotic life but thinks everyone ELSE is the problem. Believes psychiatry is a hoax (which it has become to some degree) and refuses to acknowledge their own instability.

These people go through life creating unnecessary drama because they're ignorant to the facts about mental illness. Nobody wants to be diagnosed as "crazy", but knowing that your problems have a name--and that other people share them--is so empowering.

I have to agree with you there, my dad has bipolar/PTSD or whatever issues. His symptoms are almost exactly like mine. He hardly functions because he refuses to accept any medication as he has had bad experiences in the past with lithium and anti psychotics and other shit. He has anxiety but just doesn't realize it and then it gets manifested as anger, usually towards me.

I just accept that he is the way he is and that's all i can do but i feel like just putting etizolam in his coffee or something so he can calm the fuck down and actually live life. Not that i think everyone should be medicated but my little brother clearly has ADD, as do I, but my father just says, no he doesn't he's fine. Well yeah he's fine but it's helpful to have some insight as to why my brother can't sit down or focus on anything properly.

and damn the unnecessary drama from others is too much to deal with sometimes, i feel like shooting myself just so i don't have to deal with other's problems. I have my own issues to deal with but i am aware of them and work on them while these people keep repeating the same cycle over and over again, causing misery for everyone else.

 

[exists]

What sucks is when people deny their own psychological problems. You know the type: lives a dangerously chaotic life but thinks everyone ELSE is the problem. Believes psychiatry is a hoax (which it has become to some degree) and refuses to acknowledge their own instability.

Reminds me of a menopausal woman I (used to) know. An ex-nurse, pulled herself out of depression once, and is now a superwoman with her mind scattered to the 4 winds... yet doesn't realize that for all her busyness and judgmental attitude towards others, that she isn't really getting much accomplished! She honestly believes that all people were made the same, with the same pain threshold/brain chemistry as everyone else. I wouldn't still be so pissed off at her, but she caused a lot of trouble for a family member once, stuff that is still having an effect. She's also a bit of a speed freak, but I know a lot of people who use and are still nice folks.

The only people I really expect to have an understanding of my mental illness are close family; I try to avoid that discussion altogether with casual acquaintances. (I make an exception for you Bluelighters.) Questions such as, "so what do you do?" either go unanswered or I tell only part of the truth. Tell most people you're bipolar and they get real quiet all of a sudden

 

[Lady Codone]

Damn RoboRipping, you just described my dad. He's one of the main people in my life who refuses to believe he has a problem. We all had to be medicated just to deal with him. Violent, frequent mood swings that are totally unprovoked. Not sure if it's bipolar or what, but he definitely ain't right. It's almost like an alcoholic except he doesn't drink.

@exists - yeah, menopausal women can be nutso. My bipolar grandma had a psychotic break during menopause and had to be hospitalized. To this day, she believes they were worshiping the devil in the psych unit :O

 

[Jen4]

Your post struck a chord... I have anxiety/depression disorders that have made life difficult and I've been trying to please other people (mostly my parents) all my life. I recently moved out of my Dad's as it was getting too difficult as he can't understand my mental health problems. Today I came back as I'd promised to look after his and my Stepmum's pets while they are away. I haven't seen them for about three weeks as I was at my Mum's house trying to get over having to have my dog (my BEST friend) put to sleep as he was very sick with lymphoma. On the way here, I was worrying about how it would be when I got here so I thought just give my Dad a hug and it will be ok. But when I got here, my Dad and Stepmum had friends over and I bottled it... things just carried on as normal, they gave me my list of things to do while they were away, and nothing's changed. I'ts weird, I haven't seen them since I had to have my dog put to sleep and they know all about it because I was texting my Stepmum during this time, but neither of them said anything when I saw them today. My dog, Harpur and me spent 9 years living here, and not one word... it's like our lives here never existed. Before I get too hung up about it, maybe if I hadn't bottled out of that hug, it might have been different... but then it's always me who is trying to please...

 

[Vaya]

Accept their ignorance.

As painful as I find this particular option to be, I agree wholly. I've been the recipient of much doubt regarding depression and anxiety, and it hurts so much. One of the things I find most difficult to withstand with grace is having the very real emotional pain I experience at times be completely invalidated by another.

It just happened to me in a discussion with my roommate about 40 minutes ago, in fact. The remark, "...just get over it" made me angry - but at this point in my life I know better than to act on anger-fueled impulse.

It's also been an on-going issue between me and my girlfriend, as I have been experiencing symptoms of sexual dysfunction due to intense seasonal/situational depression. I've been tangled up in the fear that this may cause our relationship to fail, as she thinks its her fault and now is too afraid to attempt sex because she says "Im just scared, I don't know what I'll do if.... If it fails again."

And she seems incapable, despite my encouragement, of understanding how significantly depression and anxiety can affect the body. But if I've done all I can do and there are still problems, or she decides to break it off, I'm going to need to understand that I've done all that I can do, and to keep my focus on repairing my well-being instead of letting others' ignorance further pull me under.

This is, of course, so much easier said than done. But I hope that I and others have at least planted the seed in your mind. Their ignorance is not your fault.

 

[PortalFloyd]

Accept their ignorance.

Well said. Just focus on getting yourself well right now.

 

[mrflowers00]

you could always see a psychologist and ask them if they would be willing to have your family in to see if they could learn about you mental illnesses and hopefully understand you better

 

[paranoid android]

I just accept that they are completely ignorant of my situation and thus their opinion bears no weight at all. I used to get pissed off at people like that but now i know it's just not worth it. It can be frustrating though to say the least.

 

[kraykray]

Honestly, anybody who has never experiences mental illness, either first hard or through someone they love, will be completely understanding towards you. My parents are not together, but I'm still very close to both of them. My mom is very familiar with mental illness, where my father is not. To get my dad to understand just how hard my day to day struggles are, I pulled him out a few times so he could see exactly what I went through when I had an anxiety attack. He was so freaked out to see how severe day to day life is for me, it almost destroyed him.. until he understood this is a part of me, and it will not go away, and now when I discuss my mental illness he knows exactly how hard it is for me, and knows how much work it is for me to cope with day to day activities, and seems to be 100% understanding.. I will warn only showing this to people who you feel are ready to accept you.. this approach isn't for every person, only those who are ready to fully understand your struggles, it takes being basically "naked" in front of the people you love.

On a lighter note, surround yourself with people who understand.. my boyfriend experiences almost all my mental illness symptoms, so when they are acting up he is the one person on this planet I feel most comfortable talking to, even more then my therapist.. I know alot of people will say that this is an unhealthy relationship because of this, but I have broken more roadblocks with him by my side then years of therapy ever did. Since I fell in love with him, I've broken more road blocks than years of therapy even got me close to attempting.