How do you deal with an irritable mood? Please help

[kayladelmo]

I really feel like I can't escape this mood. I feel angry and fatigued and indecisive and most of all, IRRITABLE. I keep thinking about shit that just pisses me off and I'm feeling extremely anxious because I promised my friend I'd give her a ride tomorrow and I just don't want to, even though she needs one. Should I just tell her I don't want to or come up with an excuse? It just annoys me to think about and I'm mad at myself for not being assertive enough to say no. I need advice.

How do you quell your bad moods? How do you deal with irritability and anxiousness and impatience without using drugs? Please help me I feel really crazy and ugh horrible... no matter what I do to distract myself the negative thoughts just keep coming back. This has been going on for the past few days and it's driving me insane.

 

[SmarTPants]

One thing I found that helps is to just keep pushing through. While it doesn't do much to alleviate irritable feelings in the moment, I found that it shortens how long I am in a bad mood. When I get angry, fatigued, and grouchy, I tend to isolate myself. I become impatient with those around me and even a bit spiteful. If I feed into my negativity, I worsen the situation and keep myself in an unpleasant place. If I carry on with normal activities (like work, chores, and sometimes even social obligations), I am more likely to break away from my bad mood.

When I am irritable, and feel slighted by someone, I have a bad habit of thinking about ways to "get back" at them. Usually, upon deeper introspection, I realize that I do not want to be a spiteful person and realize that I'd be much happier doing the "nice" or "right" thing. By consciously deciding what kind of person I'm going to be, I take back control and begin to feel good about myself.

Now, you mentioned a friend needing a ride, and that you weren't assertive enough to say no. Is this a friend who shows a tendency to take advantage of you? Being a doormat can definitely exacerbate a bad mood. If you need to stand up for yourself, it is best to do it straight-forward. I'd avoid making an excuse, but instead addressing the problem and being clear about asserting yourself and your needs. However, if this is seriously just a friend in need, and she doesn't have a pattern of taking advantage, then I'd encourage you to make good on your promise. I have experienced anxiety over social obligations before, and found that bailing on them can make social anxiety worse. Going through with plans help decrease my anxiety. Usually, my anxiety dissipates quickly when I meet my obligations and helps me overcome it the next time I get tense about plans.

 

[T. Calderone]

Awesome answer Smarty! I can't think of much more to say that you havn't said already. If you have made a promise to give this lady a ride, then follow through and do it. You can't back out now. Just go ahead with this and you will feel better. Remember that community service matters in the long run.

 

[herbavore]

Whenever I feel pissed off in general then I know that there is something really big that I am not listening to. It's usually something that feels too big and overwhelming to confront; or I don't have any confidence that I can change it. I don't mean being irritable over a particular situation or due to something physical (like hormones). I mean that kind of generalized anger that colors everything. If that is what you are feeling then you might want to go deeper in your introspection and find out what needs to change.

 

[kayladelmo]

Thanks for the replies you guys, they really helped a lot. Herbavore, I think you're onto something, lol. I got into a huge fight with my dad a few days ago and I think that the tension and anger lingered inside me. I talked things out with him this morning and am feeling much better. I hated fighting with my dad, he's my favorite person in the world. But I am feeling pretty great today and loads better, thanks again for the replies everyone

 

[weekday warrior]

i find exercise is alway good at keeping a healthy balance