How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I'm On Methadone?

[Northern_girl]

I just joined so apologies if i posted this in the wrong section.

4 years ago I got addicted to oxy after an accident. After moving to a new town to get away from drugs i decided I needed methadone to quit, although now i wish I sweat it out.
I have been on methadone 2 years but started tapering from 120 10 months ago and now at 26.
I met a man i fell in love with just as a couple days starting my taper and have never been happier.
I have been lying to him about my drug history and methadone. At first i figured why tell someone so soon but it snowballed into with each other every possible minute.
Now i don't know what to do. Should i just continue my taper and keep hiding it or come clean and possibly loosing him. He is a very honest person and I feel horrible for lying

 

[Phobos]

I just joined so apologies if i posted this in the wrong section.

4 years ago I got addicted to oxy after an accident. After moving to a new town to get away from drugs i decided I needed methadone to quit, although now i wish I sweat it out.
I have been on methadone 2 years but started tapering from 120 10 months ago and now at 26.
I met a man i fell in love with just as a couple days starting my taper and have never been happier.
I have been lying to him about my drug history and methadone. At first i figured why tell someone so soon but it snowballed into with each other every possible minute.
Now i don't know what to do. Should i just continue my taper and keep hiding it or come clean and possibly loosing him. He is a very honest person and I feel horrible for lying

Hi there, welcome.
So how long ago did you start dating this guy? Are you spending full days at a time at your or his place already?
What did you mean by lying about your drug history? Did you completely hide it from him, or did you minimise it?

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

If he loves you he will be concerned but definitely not leave you. A good partner wouldn't let this affect the relationship, but they wouldn't stand there idle and not give a crap either.

Explain your situation as you've done here. For the record, I think you being honest and telling him is the right thing. However, I was hooked on oxy the entire time in a relationship and told him from the beginningish period. I kind of wish that I hadn't because it never affected him at all. In fact, he wouldn't have known I was using (just to be clear I'm totally for telling him). But if you really care about this person I think telling him is the right idea. Everyone has baggage... Did you expect yourself to be perfect? haha. Gay men have trouble telling their partner that they are infected with HIV most of the time, this is not the same but somewhat similar to harboring a dark secret. It's also important that he knows it's "treatment" and not to get high. Just get it off your chest now and think of it as a test if he is right for you or not. The guilt will only keep building.

And trust me... if you don't tell him and he finds a methadone bottle or pill or something he will be extremely offended. I'd be ultra triggered if I was dating someone and found a stash of cocaine lol. The coke wouldn't be the big deal. The part that he didn't tell me at all would be.

 

[Shady's Fox]

All this ''time-relationship'' factor, doesn't count at all. The partners in cause does. So I guess if they love eachother and they already are the best version of themselves, also this is very important to think bout before you have a relationship because if you don't know yourself, you will not get anything, not only in relationships or shits like that, in life, but that's another story. If they accept eachother, isn't that important. They will overcome this easily. Remember kids, you have one life, one single fuckin life.. make it worth. Off-topic and informative, for OP and others, if you want life advices, you have LAVA. You can find it by clickin on THIS

 

[Lucy20]

I was in a relationship not long ago and he turned into an idiot. I discovered later he was secretly doing crystal meth. I am a recoving opiate user so he was embaressed to tell me after i got clean.
I wish he told me because ot broke us up he was acting like a different person and i didnt know it was meth.
He stopped and were working things out because i love him. But now trusting him is a little hard, only with drugs though.
Its tough to say, if he loves you he may be hurt a bit but explain why you didnt tell. Us addicts getting clean dont want to tell everyone we meet right away.
Or if your almost done, just don't say anything.
Its a tough one but when love is there something like this shouldnt kill the love.
Best of luck to you

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Just tell him you're in recovery and no longer abuse illegal drugs, and he should be proud of you for it. Medication is medication is medication. Methadone isn't any different from any other medicine considering it is quite medicinal and has saved people from addiction. You can even say you're taking a medication for a mental health disorder, as that is precisely what drug addiction "tends to be seen as by most professionals now".

 

[Captain.Heroin]

At first i figured why tell someone so soon but it snowballed into with each other every possible minute.
Now i don't know what to do.

Been there; done that. It is lying by omission, and perhaps you did outright lie. Come clean. Say,

I wanted to correct some of the things I said earlier; I am embarassed but, yes, I _____ (x, y and z, hey for me it was heroin too so IT'S OK YOU ARE PROBABLY A GOOD PERSON AT HEART, MOST OF US ARE ) and I take medicine now and am _____ weeks/months/years clean. I don't like to normally bring this up when I first meet people, I don't know, I was probably embarrassed.

basically DO NOT say the (in parenthesis) words (it's me saying IT'S OK, heroin was my DOC Personally too and I was addicted to buprenorphine for *years* and have a few years off all that jazz now), and THE BOLD PART IS THE KICKER and you're all good. It's going to be OK!

And even if you feel like you WEREN'T feeling that way, just say it because you might not know how you are actually feeling; love tends to interfere with that shit (TELL ME ABOUT IT I'M GOING THROUGH THAT, RIGHT NOW). For all intents and purposes you were embarrassed even if you feel you brazenly lied probably because love makes us do stupid things, don't question me on this, it's ok, just roll with what I'm telling you. It'll play out well if he likes you, and if he isn't going to like you, you'll find out quicker and get to the other BILLIONS of fish in the sea who some/many are BOUND to like you JUST the way you are.

keep hiding it

No. He may find out/suspect and this will lead to dishonesty in a relationship. LYING CAN ONLY SERVE TO HURT YOU, especially as methadone is A LEGITIMATE LEGAL PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION.

We are ALL moving FORWARD into the future. Someone wants to live in the 90's? Leave 'em there. Call 'em a Grandpa and they're still probably obsessed with their ex and have emotional baggage that YOU don't need to deal with.

ODDS ARE he REALLY likes you if it's an "all of the sudden we're hanging out all the time" situation (THE EXACT SAME THING IS HAPPENING TO ME, I know, fuck my life, seriously cannot make this shit up) and will accept YOUR TRUTH AND HONESTY AND FORTHCOMING over continually lying to him.

It will only make you feel worse and he will be no worse if the wool is pulled over his eyes; when we feel BAD about ourselves -> RELAPSE.

You need to feel GOOD and/or at least SECURE in this situation, be PROUD of who you are NOW/FUTURE (because the past was just a diving board for RIGHT NOW!) and if he isn't TODAY/TOMORROW oriented, and is living in the 1990's, dump him.

Basically, HONESTY always is going to help you, unless it's the cops or the nazis. Lie to them. But if you respect your community members, family, friends, society, people who aren't cops or nazis and the people anyone in their right mind would lie to, then BE HONEST and it will ONLY help. Promise.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

You just...say it lol.

 

[KS78]

Tell him exactly what you initially wrote here starting the thread. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's very understandable to not tell them about it till you weigh that person and the quality of the relationship. You can't walk around telling people knowing how judgemental & ignorant most people are.

 

[Meth novice 79]

Be honest.
He can’t support you in the hard times if he doesn’t know, and if it turns out he can’t understand or accept it then it’s a win for you, getting rid of a loser before getting too attached.

I wish my husband had been more open with me about his history BEFORE he relapsed, I had no clue and no experience of my own to draw from when he got back on meth.
He could have saved us both so much heartache if he’d just said ‘hey I’m struggling and need you to go easy on me’ rather than ‘I’m fine, it was just a little 20 yr long habit and I kicked it easy’

 

[Nicomorphinist]

It is medical treatment for a condition for which you were diagnosed by a doctor. If someone gets extremely upset about something like this, apart from any outright deception about it, doesn't that point to the kind of control issue which can make things go pear-shaped very quickly? Unless this fellow is a medical doctor or pharmacologist or whatever, there is nothing useful he can add to what the methadone prescriber and others working on the case are doing aside from some moral support. So it may be a useful exercise to get it out there and see what he does. Hopefully the response will not be kinetic and involve things like throwing objects and so forth . . . those tests passed, it will be a teachable moment about this kind of thing because apparently 96 per cent of the population doesn't know jack shit about opioids